Walk in the Woods

Nik Curfman 8/31/23 Nik Curfman 8/31/23

Abstract: Baker’s Patience

A poem, about the patience required to bake bread.

Bakers must master a variety of skills, not least among them is math, chemistry, and learning to trust their hands.

The dough will whisper when it’s ready, when the yeast is yeasting, and she’s ready for a nap.

Then, after a rest, the baker returns to fold and shape as the final preparation.

Any mistakes in the recipe, long concealed and hidden.

At last the moment arrives when the loaf is fetched from the oven, hot and crusty.

Ready to cool for the cuttin’.

And here, in the last of it, the baker implores their most holy of skills,

cause many breads are ruined by hungry stomachs, sick of waiting.

Nik Curfman 11/15/22 Nik Curfman 11/15/22

Vol III: #37 We Are All Hypocrites To Someone Else

I’ll close by admitting, I know I too look like a hypocrite, to someone. And, they are probably right. I’m guilty as charged. Who I am and the decisions I make are riddled with inconsistencies and flaws. What I choose to practice in this moment is what the kids call “stay(ing) in my lane.” Or, as Jesus as the Comedian put it, I choose to focus on the forest in my face rather than the branch of my neighbor’s.

Last week, I listened as two of my friends complained about lazy people. One went so far as to condemn a looming wedding because the groom “doesn’t work.” And Friend Two jumped on the slander train as I kept my tongue. My thoughts were stuck between where is the grace and what do these two think of me? Long after the conversation ended, I felt attacked- as someone looking for a job and having a hard time finding one. I fell into a bad old habit and took a defensive position. You, Mr. International Student, could work too via telecommute. But, you choose to bemoan your lack of funds. And you, Mr. Smug American, you are one of the most miserable people I know. I hope no one follows your example. It wasn’t until the next day that I was able to find peace.

I am not a lazy person. I do not watching TV all day or complain about a lack of money. Sure, it would be nice to have more money. But I know how to live thick and thin. Each scenario creates opportunities. When I’m not looking for work I am active in other ways- writing, blogging, cooking, mentoring a marketing intern, cleaning, exercising, reading, learning a new language, etc. My biggest problem is these activities do not pay the bills…yet.

In truth, all I really want from a job is just enough money to pay my bills. I’m single and cheap and I can afford to take risks such as writing a book or traveling. One day I’ll be married and that lovely lady will want a home and children. And I will give her those things. But it is not this day. My opportunity is the time I have to create a new life.

And yes, my friends are hypocrites. But their faults don’t diminish who they are. Both men are great men and will do great things. And the pride they showed will either limit them or be yanked out of them by the Lord. Regardless of outcome, I will not let their words define my experience or my current struggles. I can’t. (And to their credit, they have no idea what my struggles are. We aren’t that close.)

I’ll close by admitting, I know I too look like a hypocrite, to someone. And, they are probably right. I’m guilty as charged. Who I am and the decisions I make are riddled with inconsistencies and flaws. What I choose to practice in this moment is what the kids call “stay(ing) in my lane.” Or, as Jesus as the Comedian put it, I choose to focus on the forest in my face rather than the branch of my neighbor’s. My age and experience tells me to relax and enjoy my friends for who they are, to be patient and kind, and to keep rolling.

Nik Curfman 5/23/22 Nik Curfman 5/23/22

Vol II: #70 From Small to Big

Since 2015, I started a number of new healthy habits like making my bed every morning, charging my phone and watch downstairs to make falling asleep easier, journaling, blogging, gratitude, biblical proclamations, etc. The more concise truth is I have yet to establish the habits I want in areas of life that cause me shame or prolonged embarrassment. But, I made lasting changes is major areas of my life and I will not forget them. These smaller changes are the stepping stones to the big shifts to come. Winning is winning, and we cannot often win the big battles until we’ve won the smaller skirmishes. At least, that’s what I’ve learned.

A while ago I read a new habit can be established in as little as 21 days. Oh dear Holy God do I wish that claim was fact. Years later I’m sure whatever poor bastard, or more likely group of bastards, who printed that nonsense have paid the price for it. Since then the new habit timeline switched from 21 to 30 days, to 45, and now “they” say 66 days. Hogwash. I new habit takes what it takes. Even more to my point, I think some behaviors (including some very healthy acts like exercise) might never become a habit in the most normal sense of the word.

I wish exercise was as automatic as biting my nails or gnawing chicken bones long after most people would stop. But, that’s not my life. Every time I lace up my shoes I pause to battle the temptation to stay on the couch. My insecurity and doubt search for any convincing argument to keep me home: I need new shoes, my hair looks a mess, or the ole faithful “just start tomorrow.” Maybe, I will have to push and fight and be more determined than laziness wants me to be.

Goals help. Of course, they do. The ability to tie a habit such as exercise to a future number or larger life goal is a major boost. I want to be able to hike with more energy and strength, and I also want to teach my children to care for their bodies. (One of those feels so far fetched I feel ashamed to admit it.) But, that’s not how habits are formed. And I’m trying to rewrite decades of established behavior. This is why changing habits can be painful and discouraging.

I do have one alternative explanation: impatience. Impatience pulls our heads down and pointed at our failures. It’s why we give up on ourselves and our hopes. It’s why we give up on Him. We settle for the crumbs today because we believe the lie the bread will be gone tomorrow. And though my life is full of failures, I have my victories too.

The trick is to get back up, to lean into the Lord, and believe “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” And yes, I believe in miracles. The instant interaction of Heaven and Earth is a blessing and we cannot live with it. But, I also believe in the slow renewal of the mind. Both are supernatural.

Nik Curfman 5/19/22 Nik Curfman 5/19/22

Abstract: The Middle of the Trip

A poem, about roads trips and endurance.

As a child, my family took long road trips to western Pennsylvania every summer.

We’d visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

The drive began early in the morning, before the sun was bright.

And from our neighborhood we eventually found the highway north,

It led us into North Carolina, past the sparkling skyscrapers of the Queen City,

And up the southern slopes of the Appalachian Mountains.

The first part of the trip was full of excitement and plenty of interesting distractions.

But as the morning began to fade, the excitement died.

The sun worked across the sky above as we turned onto route 19,

churning through the endless green mountains of West Virginia,

with more driving still ahead than behind.

For my part, I’d encouraged my poor mother,”we’re lost, we need dad.”

We were not lost.

I was lost, because I hated the waiting and the confines of the car.

As an adult, I grew to love those old mountains and appreciate their beauty.

And what a gift it was- to sit in the back of our silver station wagon and look out on such majesty.

What I wouldn’t give to be driven across America with people I love.

The journey is half the trip.

I’m still learning to enjoy it,

especially the middle part,

when the excitement of the start is gone,

and the finish seems five hundred miles away.

Nik Curfman 8/3/21 Nik Curfman 8/3/21

Abstract: Patience

My prayer today, and tomorrow, is to be patient,

to stare down the vision in my heart until nothing else remains.

When I was a child, skinny and unaware,

I believed patience was a mystical ability to endure the undesirable.

“Have patience,” some old person would say,

when what they meant was “it’s going to take a while.”

They reduced patience to a waiting game,

a skill to be mastered while we waited for our food.

Now that I’m a grown-ass man,

I know what patience is.

Patience is the silent partner to any worthwhile endeavor.

She ignores small defeats because she knows they are part of the task.

She embraces change because the way is not defined.

And her constant admonishment is “keep going.”

Patience isn’t waiting but a belief.

She accepts the costs because the journey is worth it.

Whatever comes.

My prayer today, and tomorrow, is to be patient,

to stare down the vision in my heart until nothing else remains.

I will fail myself and you.

Then, I will win.

Such is the blessing of the patient.

Nik Curfman 7/5/21 Nik Curfman 7/5/21

Journal: #326 Delayed

I loathe a certain airline. Their headquarters in is Houston. Let me count the ways. I’ll begin with the condition of the planes. They are cramped and sweaty. From there we’ll move onto their inability to take off or land on time. Now, add a dash of lost or damaged luggage. Finally, offer cheap flights to people who have just enough money to avoid Spirit. Voila! A shitty airline is born.

I loathe a certain airline. Their headquarters in is Houston. Let me count the ways. I’ll begin with the condition of their planes. They are cramped and sweaty. From there we’ll move onto their inability to take off or land on time. Now, add a dash of lost or damaged luggage. Finally, offer cheap flights to people who have just enough money to avoid Spirit Airlines. Voila! A shitty airline is born.

It’s my fault. I know United is a cheap carrier with a reputation for tardiness. (You can read more about United's terrible rep by clicking this link: United is bad.) I absolutely know it, because I‘ve railed against United before to my friends and family. So…why did I fly with them? Because I was cheap. I didn’t want to pay $400 for a flight on Delta. Lesson learned. Again. I can’t blame a dog for being a dog.

The silver lining in today’s drama is I scored a free pass to the United Club lounge. At present, I am sitting in a very comfortable chair having just eaten my weight in free food. (I was hangry too. That never helps.) I’ll be able to write this post and spend some time with the Lord. The time will be spent backing off my hanger cliff- repenting of my judgemental ways. Soon enough I’ll saunter down the terminal for a short flight to New Orleans and friendship.

I know I began this post with a rant. In truth, I’m blessed. Very blessed. I’m healthy. Both my parents are alive and kicking. I have a good job and great friends. One company, dedicated to mediocrity, can’t change that. God is good, even when I’m delayed. (Being delayed is not really a big deal. I just upset at myself for choosing United.)

Nik Curfman 6/27/21 Nik Curfman 6/27/21

Journal: #320 Grace In Failure Is Key

In truth, I am a beginner in several areas of my life. If I treat myself without grace or kindness, I will fail. But, if I approach the coming years with patience, I will succeed. It’s that simple. The Lord is constantly saying this to me. I won’t win my race if I am constantly tearing myself apart. Hope must be part of even the most frustrating days.

Over the weekend, I had an epiphany concerning where I am and how I’m going to get where I want to be. Much of my consternation of late is due to my consistent fight with insecurity. I’ve written about this. You know. What occurred to me Sunday was why I feel insecure. It is because I’m stepping out on my own in ways other people do not. I’m climbing a different mountain than most, so I can’t expect other people to be able to understand what I do or will do. You might be saying to yourself “yes, of course.” Duh— is another. I’ve written about that too.

What I’m talking about is— my epiphany— is a source of new grace for myself. I am learning how to learn, how to grow, and remain committed. Learning how to learn and grow is what’s new. Adults tend to want to learn and become proficient at the same time. (I think of my brother. Having never hung cabinets in his life, he berated himself because the new cabinets he self-installed were not perfectly square. Hilarious stuff.) When we fail at a new task, we start to believe we’re too old or lack the intelligence to understand it. That’s where I’ve been- failing and hating it.

Nik Curfman 6/17/21 Nik Curfman 6/17/21

Journal: #309 Practicing Patience

This summer is a perfect opportunity to practice what the Lord taught me about patience. He showed me patience is tied to faith and vision. Big changes are the result of thousands of small choices. And, patience requires dedication and finesse. Patience IS NOT waiting*. Waiting is what powerless people do at the DMV. Patience is what the faithful display when they trust the Lord. So I will be faithful. The Lord has me. There’s no better place to be than where I am.

I’ve always been that kid, the one to bemoan the journey as soon as it starts. Oddly, I love all the talk and planning of a journey. The analysis of data, allocation of resources, and plan of action are what I consider fun. But, once my butt is in the seat, I tend to get bored. My mind drifts and anxiety mounts. (My mom will tell you. As a child, two hours into a ten hour car ride from South Carolina to Pennsylvania, I would whine. And not just “are we there yet?” No, no. I told my mother she was lost, and we needed my dad.) I suppose it’s why I find myself drawn to careers and jobs with uncertainty.

I said it the other day and I’ll write it again. I’ve been a shit lately, a child. I’m sitting in the back of the car, whining to God about the length of the trip. He’s gracious and laughs at my sophomoric reaction to life. (Like my mother, the Lord doesn’t get lost. He knows the route.)

For the last two months Netflix suggested I watch The Terminal starring Tom Hanks. While I love Tom Hanks and like the movie, I can think of few less desirable ways to spend time than waiting in an airport. But, after months of suggestions, I caved. Within the first few minutes I was reminded of what makes that movie so intriguing. The main character, Viktor Navorski, chose to stay in the terminal until legally cleared to enter America. It’s almost annoying. The movie ends with Viktor cleared to enter America, a miracle from his unrequited love interested. Also, annoying.

Perhaps The Terminal is the Lord’s way of encouraging me to remain patient— to make the most of each day and situation I encounter. Or, perhaps that’s what I read from it. Regardless, it’s a story few of us want to to mimic. I want to charge off the plane, down the terminal, through the sliding doors, on to my great future.

Nik Curfman 6/16/21 Nik Curfman 6/16/21

Journal: #308 Learning Is A Process, So Quit Being Impatient

I find comfort in the knowledge of why adults struggle with change. It’s not about age but determination. We struggle because we have systems and routines in place. Even broken, we tolerate them. It’s what we know, as though we never learned to add or subtract. We found a way around the problem, and learning the proper method requires work and patience. My personal testimony- the story of this blog so far- is how frustrating and joyful the process is.

I wrote the title to this post for my benefit. Over the last three months, the Lord reinforced several concepts. I’ve written about them in recent weeks. They include: keeping life simple, showing up every day, self-appreciation, and faith. I’m grateful for the reminder but also a bit embarrassed. I think thoughts like I’m an adult. How long does it take to learn and live a new reality? The question is hilarious when I ask it aloud. But, the answer is apparent and obvious. It takes as long as it takes.

The word repentance surfaces in my mind. As a child and young adult, I believed repentance was akin to confession. At 40, I see repentance as a major life choice (or set of choices.) Repentance isn’t saying, “I’ll never steal again.” True repentance is saying, “I’ll work never to put myself into a situation to steal again.” It goes to the root of the issues rather than trim the branches. It’s also a ton of work. Sure, the Lord could zap me with magic God dust. He could remove all my bad habits, but I’d still need some habits or routines. In this light, repentance is an active pursuit. It’s a commitment to stop one set of thoughts/actions and begin new thoughts/actions.

As frustrated and ashamed as I feel at times, I can’t turn back. Whatever success I tasted in the last few years, I know I will not sink back into a defeated version of me. I accept the ebbs and flows of pursuing the kingdom, the dips of motivation, and moments of despair. That was my life before; at least I have a purpose now. At least, I live in a constant relationship with the Lord, and I believe in myself. And, I’m not that poor. I’m rich in love and relationships.

Part of my transition is being ok when I’m unhinged. There’s a place where I allow myself to process negative thoughts and emotions— without shaming myself. The problem is it goes against how men are “supposed to act.” My dad and brother rarely say shit about how they think or feel. Good or bad. But, I know they are both deeply emotional men. Neither hides their emotions well, so it’s funny to watch them deny it. I know when my dad or brother is nervous, excited, annoyed, etc.

I do not blame the men in my family for issues expressing myself. They represent male culture at large for their respective generations. Fortunately, the younger generations are willing to change the narrative. (They are willing to talk about what hurts them, which is often seen as weakness. It’s not. No wound is healed by ignoring it.)

So here I am, caught between cultures and generations. I just wanna follow the Lord. To do it, I’ve got to be ok with my imperfection. How ironic is that? To follow the Lord, I don’t need to be perfect. I’m not required to live up to the American standard of emotionally immature masculinity. I get to kick ass and talk about how hard it is. LOLOLOLOL. (I’m not going to talk about the ease of anything.)

Nik Curfman 6/3/21 Nik Curfman 6/3/21

Journal: #297 Living One Day At A Time

Something about how Cindy (the Client) talked about little steps and big success touched me. It was as though a door clicked open in the space between my head and my heart. In that instant, my head let go of trying to predict the future. And my heart let go of the need for feedback. (My head and heart are often at odds, but not on this.) The truth is the biggest buildings are constructed one piece, one beam, one brick at a time. We see the finished work but rarely the amount of planning, organization, and resources required to build it. It’s the same with each of us. Whatever is good and true requires time and dedication. Contrary to popular Christian myth, welcome change is rarely sudden or immediate.

I believe I have a subtle yet powerful force at work in my thought life. It’s a very human condition; therefore, I harbor no guilt. Embarrassed is the best word to describe how I feel. I’m embarrassed it took me this long to see it for what it is. I, like most people, try to control my life. I know. What a shocking revelation! Except it isn’t a revelation. I’ve written about “letting go” and “keeping it simple with God.” In fact, every single day of my life, I say, “Lord, your will be done in my life.” Comically, I spend the remainder of my day trying to avoid mistakes and “the wrong path.”

Today, on a business call, my client said something old in a slightly new way. She is starting a podcast and wants to name it Small Steps, Big Success. I think it’s a catchy name for an ancient axiom: slow but steady wins the race. Of all the lessons of the last year, this is one of the top three. (Along with Be Honest and Keep it Simple.) Of all my goals of the last year, writing every day taught me the most. I 100% believe anyone can change any aspect of their life if they show up every day. People who lose weight don’t have perfect diets or work out ten times/day. (They did learn to get back up when thrown from the horse. They learned how to keep a bad food week from turning into a bad food month.)

So, I’m going to focus on each day. Doing the little things. That’s it. Simple.

Nik Curfman 1/14/21 Nik Curfman 1/14/21

Journal: #175 Favorite Moments of 2020: Grace and Patience

The difference between me in January of 2021 and a year ago is the grace and kindness of the Lord. I don’t have to be perfect or punish myself when I’m wrong. And the further I look down the road, the better my decisions become. Patience and grace are gifts of love from Him to me.

This post is second of ten in my Top Ten Moments of 2020. Unlike some, 2020 was not a bad year for me. Despite some major disappointments, I wouldn’t trade 2020 for anything. Read my intro by clicking this link, #10: Oregon, #9 Part 1 of The (X) Girlfriend here, #9 Part 2 of The (X) Girlfriend here, #8 Family and Friends here, #7 My Love of Writing here, #6 Walking Away From BBQ here, #5 Growing in Gratitude here, #4 Discovering Myself here, and #3 Learning to Love Myself here.

It would be an understatement to say I learned about grace and patience in 2020. Entering 2020, I had some patience- the kind of patience you have for a crying child or waiting in line. I did not have long-term life patience. Whatever I wanted had to happen the moment I wanted it, or it was never going to happen. As for grace, I didn’t have a clue. I do now.

Learning From the Kids

In 2020, I was introduced to a number of “kids.” I call them kids because they were all mostly ten years(or more) younger than me. Through them I was encouraged and challenged, but also assured. I see them make the same mistakes and fall into the same traps I did.

It’s hard to watch them stumble through pain and insecurity, impatience, and fear. I want to shake them by the shoulders and scream until they shut up. They haven’t yet given themselves into the hands of the Lord. In that tension, one foot in Him and the other in man, they will never find contentment or peace.

But I can’t be that guy, the “all-knowing” douche bag. For starters, if I had my shit together I’d be “farther along” than I am. Right? Wrong.

Enter, grace and patience.

Grace Is Unearned Favor

I am blessed to befriend these younger versions of me. I get to walk with them, and they are not my responsibility. Some mistakes need to be made, like a hand on a hot stove. And when the door is opened, I will share what I have to give. It’s the best of both worlds.

I know now, grace is always flowing and available to me. I’m the one with my hand on the knob. I decide whether or not I’m going to allow the Lord to be Himself in my life.

Grace is about possibilities and redemption of lost opportunities. I’ve seen it over and over the last year, in my life and the lives of my friends. Perfection is not I requirement for those in Christ Jesus. Pursuit is. I’ll give you an example.

As I write this blog post, the marketing company I work for stands posed to land a huge contract. In a real literal sense, I am not qualified to do the job they are asking me to do. I am not as knowledgeable or experienced as others in the marketing world. But, I am wildly creative in that space, and they recognize the intangibles I bring to the team. I think like an owner and connect like details back to the big picture. I can manage production teams and meet with clients. And, I’m creative.

When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I don’t think I can meet the challenge. Of my own strength and track record, I shouldn’t be in this situation. Yet, I will not let go the opportunity in front of me. I don’t have to be perfect or have all the answers. This is a fantastic moment to grow.

Of course, I’ll have to bust my ass, but that’s a given. I’m here for it. In my past, I’d run from a moment like this, or figure out a way to sabotage it. Not today. I’ve got favor on my life and I will honor it.

Patience Is Life-Sustaining

Whatever hurdles come and trap I find, that’s when patience shines. Patience isn’t a magical power to endure. It’s vision to know this slice of time is temporary. That’s the goodness of time. It passes. Thankfully nothing last forever, and if we keep a heart of gratitude we will experience the fullness of joy in each moment.

To be more specific, patience is long-term vision. It’s the ability to sacrifice current comfort and perfection for the long gain. This is what the Father does with us. He’s not concerned with this moment, and yet His hand is moving us along all the same. He knows the outcome, so the score doesn’t matter.

To us, the score matters. We look up at the scoreboard and fret when we think we are behind. Jesus has ice water in his veins. There’s no rush in His voice, no hurry to His pace. He is patient, because He plays a different game.

It’s the game I’m trying to play. Grace is the aggressive offense. It takes chances and doesn’t flinch when it fails. Patience is the relentless defense. Sure, battles will be lost and suffering will come. Just play the next play. The best any of us can do is forget what happened and move forward. The past is not the future.

For twenty years, the Lord built His case for me. He slowly and consistently guided me until last year, when I was able to see it. That’s the definition of patience. I thought about it last night. The Lord is never curt with me or frustrated. His voice is always kind and encouraging. I can’t make that up. I’m often unkind and impatient with myself, but not Him.

They enabled me to face some of the most difficult moments in my life without shame or embarrassment. And they light my path when my head starts to sink. I am loved and worthy of love. The Lord loves me without logic or end.

I couldn’t be more grateful for it.

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Nik Curfman 12/15/20 Nik Curfman 12/15/20

Journal: #148 Not My(Dating) Story PT. 2

What I love about Phil’s story is his patience. He didn’t rush the groove, because Lord knows he did not lack opportunity. On the other side, I know people who did rushed into marriage, and they suffered the consequences of impatience.

This is the second installment of my dating stories meant to encourage myself and other single people. In the intro I wrote about my heart break earlier this year. Part 1 is about Bob and his path to Kelly. Bob overcame his pain and cynicism to go after Kelly, and they are wonderful together.

Dating isn’t easy. There’s no perfect person. But, God is good. Take heart. Part 2 is the story of Phil, my Australian brother.

As we shuffled into the elevator, Phil turned to me and in a playfully serious tone said,”Be prepared. Emma isn’t like anyone I’ve ever dated.” In the 13 years we knew each other, Phil rarely prepared me to meet one of his girlfriends. They came and went, and most of the time I didn’t know their names. For whatever reason Emma was unique, and Phil wanted me to meet her.

Phil Is The Man

Phil is a man’s man, a Hemingway character come to life. He’s from Oz (the aforementioned Australia), climbs mountains, drinks like a sailor, and oozes confidence. He knows karate and speaks his mind. And as if he needed it, the accent made him irresistible to the ladies.

I met Phil in the summer of 2003, and instantly felt inferior. He was everything I wasn’t but wanted to be. My life seemed to be falling apart at every turn, and he never lost he cool. In truth, Phil face as much or more adversity as I did during those days. He just knew how to navigate it.

We met because I took an internship at his school. I’m thankful I was given the opportunity to work for Phil. He’s one of those people God used to flip my life from one path to another. He showed me what grace looks like- when one person allows another to be imperfect. Through Phil, the Lord began to build in me the concept of love we know as agape love. It is deep, and doesn’t need emotion to endure.

I don’t know where I’d be without my friend Phil.

The Dating and Waiting

Like I mentioned earlier, Phil rarely talked about his lady friends. His dating pattern was consistent, date and move on to the next. Before Emma, I recall one serious interest: Becca. They seemed to be a good fit. They both loved being outside, and she could handle his bravado. The only problem was she didn’t want him.

At the time when Becca said no to Phil, he was 35. I know what that feels like. Rejected at 25 sucks, but you pick yourself up. At 35, it’s natural to wonder “is this gonna happen for me.” I’m sure Phil had those thoughts. It’s tempting to get desperate. Phil didn’t.

He met Emma 10 years later.

Emma Is Different

Unlike Bob and Kelly, I would not have put Phil and Emma together. She’s from Texas, neat, orderly, and believes in etiquette. Her politics are on the right side of center while Phil maintains his more socialistic Aussie values. And, she’s a bit younger than him…by 15 years. Despite all of it, they are perfect together.

I want to clarify. They are not perfect, but they are meant for each other. Who could’ve seen it coming? I didn’t. Phil didn’t. When Becca rejected Phil, Emma was a teenager. Yet, this is God’s goodness too.

Weird Encouragement

When I start to sink under the weight of dating self-pity, I think about Phil. Even before he met Emma, I’d think “Phil is nine years older than me. I can make it too.” Now that he’s married I still take comfort in the knowledge a man as awesome as Phil was single into his late 40’s. (Sh*t, I’ve known lesser men to who were married, divorced, and remarried before Phil made it to the alter.)

The True Lesson

The tricky part is what we label as patience. Sometimes we call fear patience. We pass on something good because we are broken and afraid to fail. But, when our heart is united with His we let go of anxiety and pain. What that looks like can be getting married at 18 or 45.

The biggest open secret in the Universe is this: When we let go of control and let the Lord lead, our lives with twist and churn, and are greater than we could plan. Following the Lord, running after His best, isn’t a formula. It’s a relationship based on trust and faith.

Be like Phil. Follow the Lord. Let Him lead. Stay patient. He’s got your back.

Lord, thank you for Phil. His influence in my life is without equal. Thank you for rewarding his trust and patience in You. And thank you for allowing me to see it.

Amen.