Walk in the Woods
Vol III: #63 Shaking and Quakin’
I’ve seen people shake and shout and confess their sins. I’ve watched dirty old men proclaim there redemption and women dance like the world depended on it. And for some, perhaps most, it is an fleshly act, one they so desperately want to be true. Alternatively, for some, perhaps only a few, they are having an encounter with God Almighty. It is for the few that I kept my mouth shut as Eliab continued to describe events unimportant to me.
“Revival has broken out at the school. The Lord is doing really amazing things! It’s so good. You should come.” This was the admonishment given to me recently by my friend Eliab. We haven’t been friends for too long so I doubt he detected my cynical reaction. Instead, he continued to describe the scene at Bethel, one full of shouting and singing, flopping bodies and “something breaking lose.” Each word felt like nails on a chalkboard, but instead of a chalkboard, his words were nails across my heart.
I’ve seen people shake and shout and confess their sins. I’ve watched dirty old men proclaim there redemption and women dance like the world depended on it. And for some, perhaps most, it is an fleshly act, one they so desperately want to be true. Alternatively, for some, perhaps only a few, they are having an encounter with God Almighty. It is for the few that I kept my mouth shut as Eliab continued to describe events unimportant to me.
Outpourings are common at Bethel. And they tend to look identical. I knew that before I attended their school. I knew their “we owe the world an encounter with God” mantra. And I knew they prized the yelling and screaming and dramatic displays of the Holy Ghost. The senior pastors and leaders are, after all, spiritual descendants of the Azusa Street Revival. They don’t do quiet, solemn, or calm. And they take commandments to shout, dance, and heal the sick literally. I knew all this.
The real rub is I know it takes all kinds. It takes all kinds of moments and experiences to attract people to the Lord. For some, it’s revival as described by my friend Eliab. For others, it’s more private and intimate and all the variations in between. The Lord meets us where we are and we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be jealous of what the Lord does to or with someone else. I encounter the Lord through great art and the beauty of snow-capped mountains, which is odd to some fellow Christians. Sounds like I’m a hippy or New Age-y. So I ask, isn’t the point of all this, flopping or art or music, to turn our hearts toward Him? Seems to me the Holy Spirit uses more than a nightcrawler to bait the hook.
I think my true resentment comes from feeling unappreciated by churchy folks. Do I really care if people quake and shout? No. But what if they are faking? Nope. Not really my business either. What hurts my heart is when I tell someone I cried in wonder while staring at painting and they give me the confused dog response and push the conversation forward. But then if I said I was “drunk” or sobbed into the carpet during worship, the backslaps wouldn’t stop coming. Intellectually, I understand it’s a cultural value where emphasis is placed on the outward display of the Lord’s power and presence. When, in fact, Jesus is at the center of both moments, one no more important than the other. Still sucks to be unappreciated.
Thankfully, the Lord doesn’t give a damn about my resentment or self-pity. And I know these revivals are good and necessary. I look forward to the day when we see any encounter with Jesus as good and necessary, regardless of location or physical display. And what a day it’ll be, when God is allowed to love His people without our prejudice or judgment.
Vol III: #42 Give Praise How You Give Praise
Worship will always be a willful act of gratitude. Anything else is false. Even and especially for children. As adults, we can ‘fake it till we make it’ because we know that actions can lead to attitude. Children do not. At least, I didn’t. I hated worship until well into my adults years. Each Sunday, when the music hit, I was too concerned with “doing it right.” And, I judged those around me.
The final chapters of the Psalms are encouragements to Praise the Lord. When I was a child this meant performing specific tasks: dancing a certain way, raising hands like a Buddha, and reciting worn out phrases. I was too young to understand what the scripture meant, and I do not advise punishing children to worship the Lord. My parents spared me- for the most part- but most of the kids who were tortured into worship did not stick with it.
Worship will always be a willful act of gratitude. Anything else is false. Even and especially for children. As adults, we can ‘fake it till we make it’ because we know that actions can lead to attitude. Children do not. At least, I didn’t. I hated worship until well into my adults years. Each Sunday, when the music hit, I was too concerned with “doing it right.” And, I judged those around me.
Fortunately, I found freedom in worship and an ability to offer my own praises. My new found liberty shined a new light on the final chapters of the Psalms, because they slapped. For the first time, I saw them not as a formula to please God, but an invitation to remember His goodness. I won’t dance across a stage or in an isle, but I will sing to him on my walks, and write and cook for Him. I will thank him for delicious cheeses and crunchy pecans, and offer a prayer for every gorgeous sunset. And when my loved ones suffer, and He heals them, I’ll never forget who I prayed to.
I believe the most important aspect of worship is authenticity. Going through the motions isn’t the worst idea. Sometimes we just need to start before our thoughts/emotions fall in line. That’s real. But, at some point in the process, conviction must take the reins- where words become truth and truth becomes worship. God is good, all the time. His blessings are real, all the time. Even at our lowest moments, He was there to love us through it.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. Eat something good and enjoy the day.
Vol III: #34 God Is A Happy God
this morning, as I thought about my vote and all the problems we face, I remembered the Lord is good. He is hope and love. And, He’s for us. He’s for America and all the people in it. He stands and knocks on all of our hearts waiting for us to answer. These are not the actions of a gray, old man with lighting bolts at the ready when we screw up. This is picture of a good Father, one with open arms and kind words for those willing to listen.
There’s a picture of God we all have somewhere in our person. He’s old and gray and angry. I believe this imagine stems from First Great Awakening, way back in mid-1700’s. Jonathan Edwards gave us this impression when he preached his famous Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God sermon, and it was hence burned into American Christianity. I don’t love Edwards’ sermon, but he has plenty of Biblical basis. The Bible certainly has plenty of scripture to support Edwards’ claims. And millions of people responded to it. If hell is eternal then it’s best to do what it takes to avoid it, right?
The only issue I have with the angry God doctrine is that it’s not accurate. God isn’t angry, He’s just. And more than that, He’s looking to smile on us and cover us with love- if we let Him. In Genesis, He called creation Good. He was pleased with the sacrifices of Abel. He was please with David and, of course, Jesus. He is pleased in our weakness and when we seek peace and do good. And He seeks to bless us when we are poor in spirit, mourn, or face persecution. He applauds our attempts and blesses our trials. And Jesus is the ultimate blessing- a sign of love, for though we were lost and broken, he sent Himself. If God were only angry, marking our sins on a giant cosmic chalkboard, we’d all be screwed to hell. But, He’s not.
I’ll stop here to say something important; the Lord is not a slot machine where if we pull the right levers we will be rich. Too many people fall into that line of thinking and it’s a false doctrine. This is not a carrot vs stick motivational discussion. What I want to clearly define for me and you is the idea that the Lord is for us. (Remember: Suffering is part of life and is not an indicator of the Father’s affection for us.) My point is that we can please God with how we live life and we will never work for His love. He loves us already and eternally.
I know I’m not saying anything new, and originality isn’t my goal. But this morning, as I thought about my vote and all the problems we face, I remembered the Lord is good. He is hope and love. And, He’s for us. And He’s for America and all the people in it. He stands and knocks on all of our hearts waiting for us to answer. These are not the actions of a gray, old man with lighting bolts at the ready when we screw up. This is picture of a good Father, one with open arms and kind words for those willing to listen.
Vol III: #30 We Are All Job
My least favorite comparison I hear is “I’m like Job.” Of course, you are I scoff as I mentally roll my eyes. The type of person who compares their life to the story of Job is usually the same kind of person with zero self-awareness and a self-sabotage/codependent streak.
When I read the Bible, I try to identify with people in the stories. And, I assume most of us do that. We want to know their failures are no different than our own, and their success can be our success. How often have you heard someone say “I’m a David?” Or a Paul or Ruth? A lot, right? It’s all part of the charismatic/pentecostal tradition.
My least favorite comparison I hear is “I’m like Job.” Of course, you are I scoff as I mentally roll my eyes. The type of person who compares their life to the story of Job is usually the same kind of person with zero self-awareness and a self-sabotage/codependent streak. I recall sitting in a messy apartment across from my friend Clint. He was drunk and whiny and rambling about the state of his life. As I watched him unpack a box of painkillers from India, he told me “the enemy is offering me the world on a silver platter and I feel like Job.” Judgement rose in my heart, wasn’t Job considered blameless? Clint suffered a few injustices in his life, but his addiction and manipulation issues were all his own doing. He was not blameless.
Despite these annoyances, I enjoy the story of Job. And the most important part of the Job’s story is how he responded to the adversity. Family killed, property destroyed, discouraging friends, and body attacked; Job refused to curse the Lord. He held onto to the single biggest truth, that the Lord is good. So, when I say “we are all Job,” what I mean is we have the opportunity to respond like Job when we suffer. Because, we will suffer. And no, it’s not fair. It wasn’t fair when my grandmother lost two of her young sons or when my best friend’s brother died of blood cancer at the old age of 27. The only thing we can control is how we respond to life. Let us all be Job.
(Living in the United States during the early 21st century created a lot of entitlement. We believe we will live without pain or injustice. This entitlement helped to turn more people away from the Lord then science. The idea being there must not be a God if…. If you believe such a thing, you didn’t read the Bible. Not only does every Bible hero suffer, but the main man himself aka Jesus assured us we will suffer.)
Vol II: #94 Facing Loss
To echo Bill, I’m not entitled to anything. And, I certainly will not tell the Lord how to be God. But, I will hope. In the days to come, whatever comes, I will expect the Lord’s presence to go with me wherever I go, and for Him to fulfill His promises. When the losses mount and the pain is great, I want to stand on my stage and say God is still Good!
I didn’t know which direction Bill Johnson would go in the aftermath of his wife’s death. My best guess was that he would preach sooner than later, and I hoped he would let us see his process. And, a mere three days after her passing, Bill stood on stage and told the world that God is good. He declared it through tears and without jokes, though his humor made a few appearances over the hour he was on stage. He let us in on his pain and how he missed his wife. In all my life, loss and grief have driven more people away from the Lord than science or logic. (People tend to find the “facts” well after the pain takes root.) For Bill to do what he did on Sunday morning was miraculous and- for me- his finest hour.
My entire life I’ve observed people in their moments of pain and heart ache, some self-inflicted, some not. And, I experienced by own versions of loss and grief. What I can firmly proclaim is it’s not if we experience pain but when, which leads us to a choice: to sit at the Lord’s feet and hold onto to hope…or sink into despair and anger. Unfortunately, we are encouraged to define our lives by how we’ve been victimized and/or abused. And real as those horrors can be, it’s not healthy to identify with the worst moments of our lives. That’s the plan of the enemy, to pull our heads down and cover us in doom.
To echo Bill, I’m not entitled to anything. And, I certainly will not tell the Lord how to be God. But, I will hope. In the days to come, whatever comes, I will expect the Lord’s presence to go with me wherever I go, and for Him to fulfill His promises. When the losses mount and the pain is great, I want to stand on my stage and say God is still Good!
Vol II: #76 Vaccines and the Will of God
One statement you will not hear uttered from my lips, though I’ve heard it repeatedly since March, is they want me to get vaccinated. You won’t hear it from me because I do not understand that mentality. We do not suffer from measles, mumps, small pox, or polio because of vaccines. And, I know that no matter how much data I have, the prevailing sentiment among conservatives is that the COVID-19 is potentially dangerous. So be it.
In a hyper prophetic ecosystem like Bethel’s, it’s common to hear someone say I feel the Lord calling me to X. Usually, this means “called” to a specific ministry like working with the homeless or some kind of inner healing. A “calling” can also apply to countries or a ‘season of rest.’ (Funny how few people feel called to a ‘busy as shit season.’) Pertinent to my post today is the idea of the Holy Spirit ‘calling’ people to travel over the summer. And, I am among them.
One statement you will not hear uttered from my lips, though I’ve heard it repeatedly since March, is they want me to get vaccinated. You won’t hear it from me because I do not understand that mentality. I believe vaccines are safe and affective. As evidenced by the fact we do not suffer from measles, mumps, small pox, or polio. And, despite the facts, I know that no matter how much data I have, the prevailing sentiment among conservatives is that the COVID-19 is potentially dangerous. So be it.
Here’s the rub for many of my brothers and sisters: The Lord isn’t scared of the COVID-19 vaccine. If they have the faith to travel, to battle malaria, to eat spicy diarrhea-inducing food, to sleep in flea infested beds, then I believe they can be vaccinated. Yes, it’s up to each person to decide what they must do. Preserving free choice is important, and each person must live with the results of their choices. But, don’t deny the Lord. If He called us to something, He’ll empower us to get it done.
Personally, I don’t know what the COVID-19 protects us from. I admit it isn’t the best vaccine. Supposedly, it protects us from the severe symptoms related to the virus, though I question that claim. My point is a vaccine shouldn’t keep us from walking out our callings. If an anti-vaccine person can legally avoid the vaccine, go for it; however, you best not sit on your ass because of fear.
Vol II: #61 Continuing in Love
Since, I am no longer a slave to fear and the sin it produces, then I am no longer slave to self-protection, insecurity, or impatience. Once these rivals are cut off, I’m no longer slave to the words of others, hopelessness, or addiction. Depression and self-pity have no place, and I find strength to be kind while maintaining healthy boundaries with the world around me.
Bethel and its ministry school is a crazy place. The leaders and people do all types of odd things like fire tunnels and ‘prophetic acts’ which often look like welding an imaginary sword. I’ve laughed at them more than I’ve laughed with them. And, I don’t feel bad about it. Act like a fool or jester and I’ll pay you in laughs. Isn’t that the arrangement? On a more serious point, several teacher and speakers have drawn theological or doctrinal points that left me openly asking the questions, “Huh? What?” and “How did you get there?” One criticism of Bethel is they play loose with scripture and on occasion the criticism is warranted. I knew all this going lunacy before I started and it is not why I went.
What I appreciate most about Bethel is the culture they try to maintain. We hear so often about honor and respect and encouragement yet rarely see it. Bill Johnson- for all his many faults- makes the effort. His team makes the effort and by extension the church makes the effort. They are imperfect and infuriating yet honest and kind. They don’t complain or judge people. And when they say “we try to call out the gold in others,” the pastors at BSSM take that task to heart.
As the last month of BSSM starts, it is this culture of honoring others (the Lord and myself) I want to carry with me. Yes, I want to see the Holy Spirit move through me and my community. But, that’s not up to me, at least in part. What’s in my ability is to choose to love people with my words and thoughts- to believe and hope for the best even if they are 80 and nasty as a snake. I’m guilty of being cynical and judgmental. But, there’s a better way. BSSM gave me a glimpse of what’s possible and I aim to take it with me. While we all laugh at the person with boundless optimism and hope, we also want to be them.
All of my reading and learning taught me the world is amazing place and it is filled with amazing people. Flip on the TV or scan some news and we are led to believe something else. The world is awful. Everything sucks. There is no hope. But on the whole we can only believe one of two possible truths: God is good or God is not good. If God is good, then we live in amazing world with some wicked stuff. If God is not good, then we live in a terrible world with a few bright spots.
I choose the former. God is most definitely good. He made us a wonderful planet to enjoy. The earth is covered with all kinds of creepy things, fuzzy animals, thick forests, towering mountain, gentile waves, and cool breezes. Thankfully…many of the planets and animals are “good for food” and it is a joy of life to eat them.
Most good Christians agree that God is good and this Earth is great, but they stop short before the last bit. Most of us do not believe “we are good” or “I am good.” We’ve had the dogma of “sinners saved by grace” drilled into our heads rather than the truth. We are a new creation. This reality means we no longer subject to the old, but we have access to every good thing through rebirth and the Holy Spirit.
Since, I am no longer a slave to fear and the sin it produces, then I am no longer slave to self-protection, insecurity, or impatience. Once these rivals are cut off, I’m no longer slave to the words of others, hopelessness, or addiction. Depression and self-pity have no place, and I find strength to be kind while maintaining healthy boundaries with the world around me.
It is these ideas and beliefs I carry with me from BSSM, way more than the miracles and Holy Ghost hokus pokus. It’s a form I love I knew was possible but couldn’t access. And now, I can.
Vol II: #57 Word Of Our Testimony
My blog is also a gift to myself. It’s worth attending to as part of my life and self-expression. When I began to write in July of 2020, I didn’t know I would labor and love this process as much as I do. And, I’m thankful it’s what the Lord told me to do. He knows me better than I know myself, so whatever He wills for me is better than my will for me. This blog is a record to prove that point.
This week felt like a storm. At times, it raged and blew and I was covered in darkness. And still, in other moments, my week was refreshing and a welcome break from the norm. One particular highlight I will share is time I took to read though some old blog posts. The Lord is good to me all the time- when I’m stubborn and unkind, when I’m proud or insecure, and when I’m content and grateful. He is a wonderful cliche.
What I’m most grateful for is how this blog became a living document of my walk with the Lord. It’s ugly and beautiful, sometimes well written, and occasionally arrogant. It’s honest and admittedly in need of editing. And yes, I want to pull down a few posts- mainly to protect myself. But I won’t. Walk In The Woods is my testimony, which has power. Who will access this power? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just for me. The Lord knows I need reminding of who He is and what we’ve done together.
My blog is also a gift to myself. It’s worth attending to as part of my life and self-expression. When I began to write in July of 2020, I didn’t know I would labor and love this process as much as I do. And, I’m thankful it’s what the Lord told me to do. He knows me better than I know myself, so whatever He wills for me is better than my will for me. This blog is a record to prove that point.
“And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.”
- Revelation 12:11 NASB
Abstract: Too Wise To Say No
A poem, about falling into the wisdom and patterns of life, of ignoring what the Lord gave us and we once believed.
He breathed into us,
a little gift of Himself,
forever locked deep in the ventricles of each and every person.
Through corruption and invention,
wars and wisdom,
It’s still there.
Buried under our fears and experience.
We can’t kill it, because we can’t harm what is His.
We can ignore and relegate that token,
beneath our responsibilities and layers of maturity,
listening to all the voices designed to shape us into nothing,
letting go of the child He always is.
Yes, we choose slow paths to deaths door,
Enslaved to the seasons and demands.
Take heart, or rather,
grab your chest and feel the rhythm still at work in your veins.
Our Father’s goodness remains.
What He gives, He never steals back,
And all that was once good, can be made good again.
You are not too old,
too broken,
too stupid or ugly,
Not too poor, uneducated,
or unsophisticated.
There is no sin of your past,
no guilt unsaid,
That keeps us from Him and the gifts He gave us,
back in the beginning,
before we were too wise to say no.
Vol II: #50 The Hopeful Idiot
It’s been 168 days since BSSM began and this one story proved to hit me most squarely in the chest. I too expect the worst from life, for relationships to fall apart and new business ventures to fail. After all, isn’t that the way it is? Or, is it possible to expect the best, to believe and hope for more? According to Mr. Vallotton, the answer is the latter. More impressive is that I can be free from the constant crush of impending doom- I’d rather be a hopeful idiot than a wise cynic.
My average day at BSSM includes doodling on my sketchpad or staring at my watch as I wait for class to end. On occasion, I’ll pull out my phone and play whatever game I’m currently into playing. But, mostly, I’m just waiting until I can go home where I feel safe and unchallenged. For better or worse, I can’t tell who spoke last week or what their subject matter was. It is what it is. My goal is to finish not be an all-star student. Fortunately, the Lord is good and meets me where I am, as he did last Wednesday.
Kris Vallotton- the second in command at Bethel- usually teaches our class on Wednesdays. He’s a decent speaker with a gift for a good story. I appreciate stories over abstract concepts. (Bill Johnson speaks in formulas and abstracts which I loathe.) Kris prefers to show how the Lord works instead of telling us how the Lord works. Last Wednesday, he taught us about deliverance. As he did, he explained his journey and the snares he encountered. Toward the end of his lecture, he dove into a specific deliverance from the spirit of doom and gloom. I couldn’t how back my tears as he detailed the types of thoughts he had, what he thought was normal, and how the Lord set him free from expecting the worst.
It’s been 168 days since BSSM began and this one story proved to hit me most squarely in the chest. I too expect the worst from life, for relationships to fall apart and new business ventures to fail. After all, isn’t that the way it is? Or, is it possible to expect the best, to believe and hope for more? According to Mr. Vallotton, the answer is the latter. More impressive is that I can be free from the constant crush of impending doom- I’d rather be a hopeful idiot than a wise cynic.
I’ll keep you updated.
Vol II: #35 Both Can Be True
I’m Nik Curfman. I love to learn and explore, and create. My heart is to love people well and encourage them in the way they should go. I pride myself on being a good friend and listener. And, I have issues with anxiety. I have doubts and worries, and regularly wonder if I should do more. All of these things are true. It’s both, not either or. The presence of my greatness does not mean I lack flaws. But, and this is important for me to know, the presence of my flaws does not erase my greatness.
Very often in life, we believe if one thing is true the opposite cannot be true. Yet, we know know this is false. The sun is always shining no matter how hard the wind blows and the rain pours. Asian cuisines such as Thai and Cantonese are notorious for sour and sweet flavors in the same dish (as well as savory, spicy, and fatty goodness.) And great men of academics, industry, or ministry are often not so great at home with their families. On an individual level, we are often left to believe the presence of doubt or shame is the absence of anointing or grace. But, that’s not true.
Over the last three weeks, I’ve sat in numerous classes and listened to same stories I heard as a child. King David is revered, because of course, he is. John the Baptist is the weirdo Old Covenant prophet who heralds the arrival of the Messiah. And, as it should be, we’ve discussed Jesus. In a very similar vein to everything I’ve been taught before, the speakers talk about how bold and confident each Biblical hero was.They did X because they knew God would provide. Jesus probably was this way because he was perfect. I call bullshit.
Matthew 26 is one of the most meaningful passages in scripture. In it, Jesus describes his anxiety regarding his coming persecution. It’s gripping and tough to read. I couldn’t be more thankful.
Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, “Stay here while I go over there and pray.” Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, “This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me.”
39Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?”
- Matthew 26:36-39
“This sorrow is crushing the life out of me,” is how Jesus described his dread to his friends. Who hasn’t felt this away about the future? Toward marriage? Or a job? When going to a family event? I feel anxious on a daily basis, and I’m not facing anything as remotely difficult as betrayal and horrific torture or death.
Think about it for a moment. Jesus knew he was setup. He knew Judas was out to get him. And…He knew what fate befell those who crossed the Roman empire. It’s likely Jesus saw a few crucified men in his day, or watched as someone was stoned to death. (Death by stoning is brutal and intended to take a long time. It’s not quick or painless.) Jesus knew his mental, emotional, and psychological limits were about to be broken. He feared for His life. How human is that?
I also believe Jesus, in the middle of fearing the worst, held on the Father, “Not my will, but yours be done.” That’s faith too. That’s the ultimate example of what it means to be Christian for Nik Curfman. I don’t know what any of these religious professionals mean when they say people like David, Daniel, and Ruth had unwavering Faith and Confidence. I kindly and respectfully disagree. I’m willing to bet a large sum of money that Daniel was a bit worried when the Lion’s den was sealed shut. I’m also willing to bet he believed the Lord would provide an answer. BOTH can be true.
As I mentioned above, I feel some form of anxiety every day. On occasion, I feel panicked and overwhelmed. For example, the other day, I watched a new show on Netflix called Maid. It’s about a single mom and her struggle to break out of a bad relationship and cycles of poverty. I was reminded of all the people in the United States and around the world who struggle to make ends meet, and how poverty is more about ignorance than laziness. (The poorest I’ve been was also when I worked the hardest. Both can be true.) As I laid on my couch, I sunk into despair and hopelessness. I felt so small against this hurting world.
Late in the night, I raised my hand and whispered, “Lord, I trust you,” then began to practice breathing- long inhales followed by equally long exhales. (The world and ministers alike want us- the average person- to change the world. What kind of fuckery is that? None of them can do it. So who am I? None of us are called to change the world. Jesus already did that. I’m called to be me.) I felt the Lord say “I’m here,” and the panic lifted.
I’m Nik Curfman. I love to learn and explore, and create. My heart is to love people well and encourage them in the way they should go. I pride myself on being a good friend and listener. And, I have issues with anxiety. I have doubts and worries, and regularly wonder if I should do more. All of these things are true. It’s both, not either/or. The presence of my greatness does not mean I lack flaws. But, and this is important for me to know, the presence of my flaws does not erase my greatness.
I look forward to a day when I no longer suffer from anxiety, but I will continue to trust the Lord and grow in Him. It’s a tactic of the enemy to have us focus on what isn’t happening and what we fear. Our call and command is to focus on Him, the Lord of All. He’s our Hope and Provider. We were crucified with Him and Resurrected with Him too.
Vol II: #31 A Vision of Worship
During the final chorus of Alleluia, I saw(in my mind) something wondrous and awesome. The Lord took me up into Heaven. All the Saints (of the Great Cloud of Witnesses) were engaged in raucous worship- not on their faces. They were alive and untethered by anything. A moment later, I saw a single woman in Chile as she sat alone in her apartment, a black mother in LA, a Japanese commuter vibing to the music in his earbuds, and a young Afghani man behind a tall wall. All of them singing- aloud and in silence- to the Lord. As it happened in Heaven, it happens on Earth.
Today’s worship team was comprised of native Spanish speakers. Bethel attracts people from all over the world and Central/South America is well represented. So, it doesn’t surprise me they had enough qualified worshippers to comprised an entire team. I love the diversity in my class, as I often German, Dutch, Spanish, and the occasional Russian in the hallways. And, the sheer volume of international students at BSSM makes Redding feel less white bread, which I like.
I sensed the excitement oozing from the worship team as they bounced around the Civic Auditorium stage. This week featured nothing but first-year students, each group ready for the moment. But, today was different. I could stereotype it by saying it’s “Latin” energy and maybe I’m reading into it. Regardless, the feeling in the room changed when the worship leaders began to sing in their native tongue. The Spanish-speaking students responded in kind, their voices louder and filled with emotion. Each of them traveled a physical and cultural distance to be in Redding, and they have my admiration for it.
During the final chorus of Alleluia, I saw(in my mind) something wondrous and awesome. The Lord took me up into Heaven. All the Saints (of the Great Cloud of Witnesses) were engaged in raucous worship- not on their faces. They were alive and untethered by anything. A moment later, I saw a single woman in Chile as she sat alone in her apartment, a black mother in LA, a Japanese commuter vibing to the music in his earbuds, and a young Afghani man behind a tall wall. All of them singing- aloud and in silence- to the Lord. As it happened in Heaven, it happens on Earth.
I know many elevated people have grand visions of 24-hour worship, and I’m here to say we already have it. When I’m alone and I feel like shit, I’m not alone-not in Heaven or on Earth. When we raise our voices, we join the worldwide chorus in worship to the Lord- with many languages, from a multitude of countries and timezones. The next time you mumble your favorite lines from your favorite songs, remember you aren’t the only person doing it. We are part of something great and amazing and alive. It’s the enemy who wants us to feel alone and isolated. It’s a lie. We are part of the living Body of Christ. And, we get to worship Him together.
At that moment, I felt more akin to all of the people in the room, and the tribes they represent. We are truly a body with many pieces and I’m blessed to know them.