Vol II: #50 The Hopeful Idiot
My average day at BSSM includes doodling on my sketchpad or staring at my watch as I wait for class to end. On occasion, I’ll pull out my phone and play whatever game I’m currently into playing. But, mostly, I’m just waiting until I can go home where I feel safe and unchallenged. For better or worse, I can’t tell who spoke last week or what their subject matter was. It is what it is. My goal is to finish not be an all-star student. Fortunately, the Lord is good and meets me where I am, as he did last Wednesday.
Kris Vallotton- the second in command at Bethel- usually teaches our class on Wednesdays. He’s a decent speaker with a gift for a good story. I appreciate stories over abstract concepts. (Bill Johnson speaks in formulas and abstracts which I loathe.) Kris prefers to show how the Lord works instead of telling us how the Lord works. Last Wednesday, he taught us about deliverance. As he did, he explained his journey and the snares he encountered. Toward the end of his lecture, he dove into a specific deliverance from the spirit of doom and gloom. I couldn’t how back my tears as he detailed the types of thoughts he had, what he thought was normal, and how the Lord set him free from expecting the worst.
It’s been 168 days since BSSM began and this one story proved to hit me most squarely in the chest. I too expect the worst from life, for relationships to fall apart and new business ventures to fail. After all, isn’t that the way it is? Or, is it possible to expect the best, to believe and hope for more? According to Mr. Vallotton, the answer is the latter. More impressive is that I can be free from the constant crush of impending doom- I’d rather be a hopeful idiot than a wise cynic.
I’ll keep you updated.
