Journal: #163 Favorite Moments of 2020: My Family and Friends

Daily Journal

Jan 1

This post is eighth of ten in my Top Ten Moments of 2020. Unlike a lot of people, 2020 was not a bad year for me. Despite some major disappointments, I wouldn’t trade 2020 for anything. Read my intro by clicking this link, #10: Oregon, #9 Part 1 of The (X) Girlfriend here, and #9 Part 2 The (X) Girlfriend here.

What is Friendship?

What makes a good friendship? It’s a questions I’ve asked myself throughout my life, and the answer is complicated. It’s also simple. True friendship is when two people find joy in each other, and honor it.

In 2020, I was honored and was given the opportunity to honor others in profound ways. And my family and friends, once again, were solid as rocks when I needed them to be. I also had to let some people go, which is normal. Some people want to remain victims of life, complain about their circumstances, and hate accountability.

When it comes to my family and friends, I’m blessed beyond measure. I don’t have enough words or space to talk about every single person, so I’ll focus on a few.

Jess from Texas

I met Jesse nearly twenty years ago in Charlotte, North Carolina. We were both ministry school students and she became my de facto ride to school every morning. Looking back, it was very kind of her to do so given we barely knew each other.

Eventually, she moved away- to England? Then to Texas(?) where Jess met and married Rob. There they lived until early 2019 when the couple moved to Redding for Rob’s career. I live in San Francisco at the time, but it was the first time Jess and I lived in the same timezone in fifteen years. It was nice.

In May of 2019 I moved back to Redding when I formed a business partnership. My old friends was there, waiting on me.

When people say “God has a plan” it’s usually in response to a tragic random event. We say it to find comfort in the dark storms, but I can honestly say- with conviction- the Lord brought Jess to Redding for me. (And yes, for her and her family.) The last year and half have been some of the most difficult and trying times of my life. Jess was there every step of the way.

When I need someone to take me to the ER, to give me a place to sob after a break up, to bounce ideas off, and generally hold be accountable: Jess was there. She didn’t run from my pain or shame. She didn’t take it personally. And, she gave without pause. And Rob…he let’s Jess be Jess. What trust they have for each other.

I get teary-eyed when I think about when she and Rob will move to Texas. What she’s given me, I can never repay. If ever I needed proof the Lord loves me, it’s in the way Jess treats me. (She’s no push over trying to win my friendship. Jess is strong, and NEVER tells me what I want to hear. It’s not in her nature to sugar coat or lie. It’s part of what makes her great, even though Texas is a humid armpit of America.)

My Parents are Awesome

One of my favorite moments of 2020 was when I flew back to South Carolina to surprise my dad on his birthday. It’s a double bonus, because where dad is mom is too. That long weekend we enjoyed each other, smoked cigarettes, and hiked through the Congaree Swamp.

What I love about my relationship with my parents is it seems to be getting better. They value me as a person, and I try to find new ways to learn from them. To state the obvious, I’m blessed. They are a big reason my visits to Columbia have become something I look forward to instead of something I dread.

Grace of God in Human Form

As stated at the start, I could fill up a vast amount of internet talking about my great friendships. In 2020, my community loved and accepted me like never before. They supported my business decisions, listened to me cry, and challenged me be vulnerable.

Most importantly, that God’s goodness comes in many forms and from many places. It’s part of what made last year a great year in my eyes.

On the ‘morrow, I’m gonna discuss my new love: writing.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process.

https://fearlessgrit.com