Daily Journal: #111 Holding the Line

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

I was challenged this week with a few situations I’d rather avoid. The election and the ensuing hysteria is one, and maintaining boundaries is the other. Elections happen, and the hype is momentary. Finding ways to love family and friends while I love/respect myself, I find to be much tougher.

Twice this week I faced a moment to assert myself and possibly disappoint the person on the other end. Today, I went for a walk to pray through once of these situations. I felt like an asshole, as though I’m being selfish. What is my boundary? I’m asking someone I love to stop talking trash about another person I love. When I see it in words on my laptop screen, I know I’m doing the right thing.

It isn’t love to tolerate the complaints and dishonor of one human toward another.

What My Worries Are

The most obvious flaw of my feelings are I must accept the and listen to someone when they trash others. My concern is if I am vocal, and enforce a boundary of honor, I will be accused of being selfish or manipulative. It’s not true. Again, when I see the words on screen, it’s very apparently. I’m doing the right thing. I am not called to embrace the offense and resentment of others.

I want to walk and sit with people in their low moments. Friendship and love is, in part, how we embrace the struggles of our loved ones. But when someone wants to bitch and complain, and be a victim? No. That’s something else.

Still, isn’t love patient, kind, and long-suffering? What does love looks like in what I’m facing? I know I don’t have to tolerate the willful resentment someone carries, but I do not want to shame and push them away. I’m not sure what the answer is.

What I Believe

I don’t have a concrete answer of how to navigate this season of my life. What I choose to believe is I can navigate this stickiness. I’m not sure what the answers will be, I just have faith they exist. (I am probably other thinking it.) Regardless, my heart is to honor everyone involved. And I trust the Lord to give me wisdom and grace. I will not crucify myself as I know I’m doing my best.

I want to maintain my friendships in a healthy, loving way. I embrace the ideas some of the dynamics were broken and need to be repaired. It takes two people to make any relationship work, and I believe the people on the other side want the same.

My Prayer

Lord…help. I want to love myself and my friends. I lay my desires and burdens at Your feet. I accept Your peace and grace. I know I will find the loving solutions. Showers my friends with Your Love and Wisdom. Thank you Jesus.

Amen.

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LINKS

Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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