Walk in the Woods

Nik Curfman 2/1/23 Nik Curfman 2/1/23

Abstract: What If, River

A poem, about trust and faith.

There’s a River slashing through the middle of life,

It’s strong yet quiet and easy to ignore.

On a good sunny afternoon you might dangle your feet in the current,

And feel the chill rush from your feet to your head,

And the sensation makes your wonder.

What if I jump in?

What if I leave everything this shore had to offer,

And give my all to the River?

You roll your pants up and slosh from the soggy grass a few feet into the flow,

but just then you remember something back home in the warm house,

where life is safe if not boring, predictable and under control.

And then you’re content to sit by the River ignoring its call,

and you wave and smile at those brave enough to take the plunge,

but all the while you wonder,

what if?

And your mind goes on wondering about the what, how, and to where,

You don’t understand the River is your friend and guide,

And He will never let you down.

Nik Curfman 4/7/22 Nik Curfman 4/7/22

Vol II: #62 Church People Are My Kryptonite

I know what my “deal” is. My deal is I believe a lie about what it means to disagree with leadership. So the problem isn’t them. It’s me. I’m the problem. I’m the one who believes a lie and then tries to defend it. So, rather than stew like an idiot, I choose the goodness of God…which is demonstrated by seeing the opportunities presented in this moment.

A near universal truth about God is you will often receive the very opposite of what you ask for in prayer. Want patience? Get ready to receive delayed events, long lines, and the wrong people asking for help. Want to learn to love? Prepare to be tested by people who’s disposition and actions turn love into a choice rather than a willing donation. Praying for riches? Then do well with the $5 in your pocket.

This season in my life- which is near an end- continues to give me opportunities to love people who do not understand me nor have they earned my respect. My defensive brain wants to protect my hurting heart. But, that’s the thing: love and honor are not about what someone deserves or earned.

Love is a command given by Jesus the Christ to all people. And, it’s easy to for me to love people who love me- my parents who support me, my awesome friends that check-in when I’m sick or hurting, and my kind neighbors. But, churchy leaders? They are my kryptonite, ever since I ten.

My first opportunity is to find peace in what the Lord revealed and encouraged in me, regardless of how confident or wrong a leader is. I get to grow my trust in Him and what He says to me. Secondly, I am given the great responsibility to intercede for those who need it. (And yes, I believe it is ok to say “they messed up.” Pretending leaders are infallible doesn’t help us or them.) My complaints are nothing but praises to the enemy.

Nik Curfman 1/2/22 Nik Curfman 1/2/22

Vol II: #44 Yielding

Late last night, while I tossed in bed, I felt a peace trickled into my mind and down to my heart. I know how to love, to hope, and remain constant, even when everything is in ashes and the light is gone. I regret nothing, even now, 17 months after our breakup. I don’t regret the effort I gave, the mistakes I made, or the heartache in the aftermath. I truly loved someone and went to a depth I didn’t know I have. It’s worth celebrating. I’m worth celebrating.

Nathan told me as he grated the white cheddar cheese for our nachos. “She’s leaving,” he said, half matter of fact, half knowing it would be news to me. Sadness and anger flooded my being as I fought back tears. Then, I made a snide comment, one I instantly wanted to back. After we ate, I went into the living to watch football while he cleaned the kitchen. The nachos were delicious, and on any other day, I would’ve raved about them more than I did. Unfortunately, I was consumed with myself. I didn’t go watch football as much as allow myself to leak a few tears before he joined me on the couch.

For a few moments, I hated myself. I hated my reaction to the news my former girlfriend is about to move across the country. I prefer to lack an opinion on the subject. It’s her life, and I’m glad she’s doing what she wants to do. Who I am to judge or comment? Regardless, I did react, which revealed a dim flicker of hope- a desire I’ve long tried to extinguish and ignore. Why can’t I feel nothing for this woman?

I stayed for another hour at Nathan’s house and tried my best to appear unfazed. Despite the effort, I’m certain Nathan knew better. He’s a sensitive man.

In my despair, I texted my two most trusted advisors, friends who earned my respect and trust. The first one offered no wisdom but gave me his undivided empathy, That is hard dude. And man, if this is part of helping you move forward in victory then so be it - also - fuck. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. I love you Nik. We all need that. When something sucks, I need someone to see it that way. Then, friend number two, my Yoda, came through with the wisdom and encouragement my heart needed:

[a]s much as I know you want to be forever over *******, if you could just get over her...you wouldn't be the kind of man that is so worthy of a great love in his life.
You keep seeing this as a flaw about yourself…but having loved a person so deeply you would have married them....there is not a linear line to moving on.

She’s right- my Yoda friend. I loved my former girlfriend, deeply. I liked her and wanted her forever. For the last year, I harbored shame and embarrassment that I wasn’t completely “over her.” I’ve hated every reaction, as I did Friday at Nathan’s.

The truth is I still love my former girlfriend. I still want the best for her, want her to live her dreams, and fulfill every destiny given to her by God. I still pray for her and her family and wonder how their holidays were. And no. I don’t see a path forward for the two of us. That’s not the kind of love I’m talking about- the romantic rush of desire. I’m referring to the deep love required to spend a lifetime with a partner. I had it, or have it. Why should I be embarrassed about that?

Late last night, while I tossed in bed, I felt a peace trickled into my mind and down to my heart. I know how to love, to hope, and remain constant, even when everything is in ashes and the light is gone. I regret nothing, even now, 17 months after our breakup. I don’t regret the effort I gave, the mistakes I made, or the heartache in the aftermath. I truly loved someone and went to a depth I didn’t know I have. It’s worth celebrating. I’m worth celebrating.

Lord,

This process has gone on longer than I expected or wanted but I decided to stop fighting it. What do you have for me in this place? What’s your truth and grace? You know I want to date again, and yet, I’m scared of the feelings I carry for another. As in all things, your will be done. I yield to You and your wisdom. I trust you.

And thank you for the friends you gave me, their empathy, their insight, and compassion.

Nik Curfman 9/16/21 Nik Curfman 9/16/21

Vol II: #28 I Don’t Trust God

The oldest- and still most effective- lie humans entertain is GOD IS NOT WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Every other lie and every sin is built on this foundation. IF God isn’t kind, I need to protect myself (enter greed, murder, and racism.) IF God isn’t gracious, I am alone (enter anxiety, depression, and disconnection.) IF God doesn’t love me, I am unworthy of love (enter shame, codependence, and addiction.) These are all variations of the original: You can’t be who you are because God isn’t who He is.

I am a problem-solver, like most men. My ability to handle a stressful situation dramatically decreases the longer it remains unchanged. And, powerless people who would rather complain about life or sit in their “fear of moving forward” are my kryptonite. These flaws in my heart are forms of impatience and fear. You should know, I am also impatient without myself and God Almighty.

On my morning walk through the forest, I reached a crescendo in my complaints to the Lord. In return, He asked a simple question, “Do you trust me?” The answer is yes, and no. I trust the Lord on a personal level. I trust He’s leading me and won’t let me fail. But, I do not trust Him with my family, some friends, and church leaders. Why do people choose less, to believe in a small God, and put more faith in the works of evil than a God of lavish goodness? I know the answer before I finish the question.

The oldest- and still most effective- lie humans entertain is GOD IS NOT WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Every other lie and every sin is built on this foundation. IF God isn’t kind, I need to protect myself (enter greed, murder, and racism.) IF God isn’t gracious, I am alone (enter anxiety, depression, and disconnection.) IF God doesn’t love me, I am unworthy of love (enter shame, codependence, and addiction.) These are all variations of the original: You can’t be who you are because God isn’t who He is.

This is the point of the story of Adam and Eve. Whether it actually happened or is an explanation of the Lord's relationship to humanity, the truth remains. The Lord made us, put us on a wonderful planet, and supplied every need imaginable. And yet, we doubted Him and continue to doubt Him…with our families, friends, and fellow Christians. We choose to protect, control, and dive into hopelessness. Our fear is why Hebrews says, “without faith, it is impossible to please God.”

Faith isn’t a conjured feeling of confidence, it’s a trust. In my vulnerable state, the most faith I can muster(pun intended) is to believe the Lord is good. I can’t see the end and I hate to see people I love caught in cycles of bullshit, BUT I’ve got a mustard seed. My goal isn’t to put confidence in my wisdom or experience. I don’t need to have answers. My aim is to say “LORD, I BELIEVE YOU ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE.”

I believe you love me and my loved ones. I believe you have a plan for your people. I believe in your supernatural presence and grace. I believe you know know what’s best for your children. You are the great I AM, the Salvation of all mankind, but also the friend of every person. You stand at the door, forever knocking to be let in. Our choice is to let you in, to give you a seat in our hearts, every day.

Lord, I don’t trust you the way I want to trust you. But, I trust you enough to open my heart to your goodness and love. I believe you are who you say you are, and I need more of you, not less. I will stress myself to death trying to fix what I cannot fix. It’s my joy to watch you work.

- Amen.

Nik Curfman 5/14/21 Nik Curfman 5/14/21

Abstract: Believe

You are a winner, a champion,

your soul tested by life,

and found to be in excess of resolve and grit.

Believe in that Nik.

Believe in you.

Question: What if I crash into the ground?

A spectacular blaze of incompetence and foolishness.

Answer: I will likely survive the ordeal.

Embarrassed, tired, and yet aching to move onward.

Last Question: Why do I plan to fail?

Obsessed with the worst of outcome.

Answer: Because, I judge myself.

I don’t believe I will succeed.

Ah. This is our problem.

with an obvious fix.

Believe in you Nik,

to fight,

to scrape,

to get back up after a fall.

How many times do you need to do it- your pattern of rising from defeat,

before you see it as the mark of success?

You are a winner, a champion,

your soul tested by life,

and found to be in excess of resolve and grit.

Believe in that Nik.

Believe in you.

Nik Curfman 4/27/21 Nik Curfman 4/27/21

Journal: #268 Triggered

Today was one of those days. I fought with so many people in my mind, and won so many arguments as my heart spiraled into a dark hell. At one point, I stopped myself from continuing, because the words that came out of my mouth made me cry. I was mean and nasty, a person I refuse to resurrect.

Today was one of those days. I fought with so many people in my mind, and won so many arguments as my heart spiraled into a dark hell. At one point, I stopped myself from continuing, because the words that came out of my mouth made me cry. I was mean and nasty, a person I refuse to resurrect. And, it all started when I let my imagination run away from me. In common language, I was triggered.

I hate feeling triggered. I hate I defended myself to people who aren’t in my timezone. I loathe what I said. As I type these words, I hear an asshole behind me. He’s lying to me but sounds convincing. You’re slipping. Feels true. I feel distant from Jesus, even though I know it’s not true. He’s always with me. That’s His promise to me. I know He’s in my room right now.

The truth of today is simple. I was triggered by a thought and slipped into a defensive posture. Then I caught myself, and I agreed with the asshole. Thing is…I know better. I know the dragon wants fed. But, he needs to starve. We don’t beat fear by feeding it. We conquer it through faith. So from this dark day I reach into Heaven and declare Lord, I trust you. In the words of the song, Even when I can’t see it- You’re working. That is who you are.

I’m not an asshole. I’m a man who has- on occasion- shitty thoughts and shitty responses. It’s ok. I’m not shitty. I’m amazing. My life is good, and the future is unwritten.

Nik Curfman 4/13/21 Nik Curfman 4/13/21

Abstract: Summer’s Coming

What is vibrant and alive, dotted with white and violet flowers, will become brittle and a pale unattractive yellow, the lush landscape yielding to the season.

It is the a time of survival and escape,

of cool dips in the lake, river floats, and friendships with a pool.

The grasses are tall and a deep green that grow along the trail,

And soon they will wither and die under the incessant summer sun.

What is vibrant and alive, dotted with white and violet flowers, will become brittle and yellow.

the lush landscape yielding to the season.

It is the a time of survival and escape,

of cool dips in the lake, river floats, and friendships with a pool.

It’s a time to explore the mountains to my north and east,

to discover their secrets and the glories only given to travelers willing to make the hike.

Life is full of these patterns dictated by the sun, her shine and her affects,

where we go and when, the beauty we behold once we get there.

Through all of these changes, cycles, and routines,

I affirm the confession of the Letterwriter:

“I was taught, by the Holiest Spirit how to,

in times of famine or drought,

flood and growth,

with my hands full or empty,

And no matter the condition of my heart,

or my state of mind,

I will do everything through Him.

I will swim in the summer and slog through the winter,

I will sing praise when I am broken and when full.

Regardless of the season or day,

He will always be my Sun,

My rain,

and my Earth.”

Amen.

Nik Curfman 2/9/21 Nik Curfman 2/9/21

Journal: #201 God in South Carolina

As I prayed about all this, the Lord said something. It made me laugh. In the middle of my fears He said,”I’m God in South Carolina too. I’ve got your back.” I laughed because it’s the obvious answer to my fear.

My alarm went off at 3:30 AM, but I was awake long before it sounded. I’m nervous. As I type, I sit at gate D8 in the famed ATL airport on my way to Columbia, SC. For at least the 50 days, I will assist my parents while my dad begins his cancer regiment. There’s a lot to be nervous about.

I built a good life in Redding. I love the surrounding mountains and rural feel of the city. (The longest drive to get anywhere in town is fifteen minutes.) I’ve got diet, exercise, and sleep routines that work for me. And, my supportive Redding? The are my favorite part of my life in Redding. They held me up when I was weak, and they never make me feel small- especially when I act small.

So yeah. I’m nervous about moving-in with tow adults who have their routines and preferences. Luckily, mom and I agreed to discuss what it will take for everyone to be successful. Check.

The obvious hurdle is the cancer hurdle. Right? The very word is jarring. I know us. We will fight. Whatever comes, we will meet it with faith and whole lotta f*ck you.

But what makes me the most nervous is me. Am I strong enough to stay out of the shit? Can I walk through this next season of life with my head up, my face toward the Lord? I can’t slip. I can’t go back to self sabotage and late night fast food binges.

My fear is the stress and change will be too much. I fear I will get on my parents nerves and they will get on mine. I fear will make everything worse and appear to be selfish.

As I prayed about all this, the Lord said something. It made me laugh. In the middle of my fears He said,”I’m God in South Carolina too. I’ve got your back.” I laughed because it’s the obvious answer to my fears.

This moment is an opportunity to climb higher in the Kingdom, to grow in Faith, and expand my understanding of grace. The Lord loves me and my family. He loves my dad. His word is yes and amen. There’s nothing that can or will separate us from Him.

My fear comes from a belief that I need to be perfect. It’s not true. I need to have faith. I need to trust the Lord. This is chance to shine in the battle instead of shrink in my hole. The last year prepared me it handle all the changes and stress with grace and kindness.

Thank you Lord for preparing me to face difficult trials of life. Thank you for building me up and putting awesome people in my life to guide me. It’s awesome how you led me last year, and continue to lead me now. I trust you.

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Nik Curfman 2/3/21 Nik Curfman 2/3/21

Journal: #195 Stupid Triggers, Gracious God

Today, I was triggered. I went from enjoying my morning to a deep sorrow in a matter of seconds. In response, I began to defend myself between the snot and tears. Once again, I was left to prove my worth to an empty room.

I genuinely hate to be triggered. It’s that sudden snap from reality into an anxiety-riddled hellscape. All possibilities are gone and only shame exists. The future is bleak and stressful. I turn to my intellect to defend my soul, a playbook as old as me.

This trigger isn’t about them. It’s about me. I’m not worthless. I’m amazing. I’m loved and worthy of love. I’m smart, hilarious, and kind. I’m affectionate, kind, and compassionate. I’m awesome and a son of the Most High.

I’m thankful I can be triggered and have the freedom to stop my day to address it. I’m thankful the Lord exposed the lies long sowed into my heart, and I’m thankful He’s yanking them out. I’m thankful for the family and friends I can text when I linger close the cliffs of emotional hell.

More than anything, His banner of me is love. I put my faith in the Lord and His path for me. This isn’t about an outcome or the remaining wounds of a broken dream. It’s about using my voice to say this:

Lord, I feel broken in this moment. Today showed me the lasting disappointment in my heart, but I refuse to be powerless or shrink back into self-protection. I give you my heart to be healed by you. There’s only so much I can do, and it’s a place meant for only You. Heal my heart. Speak Your wisdom and grace. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Do things I can’t explain.
I love you, and I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how loud the fear sounds. You are greater. Always.

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Nik Curfman 1/26/21 Nik Curfman 1/26/21

Journal: #187 Battling My Lies

If the lies are in my head, then they can be out of my head. This is my hope, and out of this hope comes faith. I don’t need to have all the answers for my flaws. It is the work of the Lord and His grace on me. I trust the Lord to do what He alone can do in my heart and mind.

I wonder if insecure feelings will ever go away. Maybe some will, like loneliness. (Loneliness is a state of mind as it is.) What I want to know is it is possible to live life without feeling inadequate or belittled? Can I live without nagging doubt?

On January 26th, 2021, I have no firm answer. How can I? My life is not completed.

Fight On

What I do know, what I believe, is I can fight through it. I’d rather not feel like a phony. It would be awesome if I never battled my self-esteem again. But, until that day, I must go to war with those emotions intended to drag me into the void of despair.

From Secure To Faith

My life was completely different a year ago. I thought I knew what was ahead and felt up to task. On days like today, it’s the opposite. I have no clue what lay ahead in my life, only a vague picture.

I know I’m loved and worthy of love. I’m thankful to be surrounded by people who love and appreciate me. Moreover, the men I work with are kind and honest. I didn’t expect to be spit out of one business venture into something built for me and my disposition.

Never Surrender to Lies

There is hope I can achieve a lasting victory over my fears. For one, life with Jesus means anything is possible. The other is more subtle. It’s mental. The lies are in my head, not my reality. Want proof? Ok. How’s this? Today, I was given a promotion. Crazy, eh?

More Lord. #LFG

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Nik Curfman 1/22/21 Nik Curfman 1/22/21

Journal: #183 I Remember Me at 27

I enjoyed dinner tonight with two of my newest friends Nathan and Hudson. They are both in their mid-20’s and full of youthful energy. Whenever I’m with them I step into another world. It’s untethered to routine or the drudgery of the men my age. Their futures are full of options.

Me at 27

I remember when I was them. At 27 I worked at a small pizza restaurant in the Cotswold neighborhood of Charlotte. By night, I took night classes at the local community college in an attempt to move forward in life. I didn’t have a plan or know what I wanted. Mental and emotional health were not concepts on my radar. Still, it wasn’t a terrible life.

One of the highlights from that period in my life was the small studio apartment I rented a few blocks from uptown Charlotte. For some reason, I felt more like an adult by proving I could pay my own way in life. It was also a place where I grew in my relationship with the Lord. I experienced a few miracles in that place and learned what fasting was.

MY Return to Clemson

I decided to move out when it seemed necessary to get serious about finishing my bachelors degree. Clemson University, the first college I attended, beckoned me to return. I was eager to do so. After years of drifting, waiting tables, and second rate schools, I was going to move into my destiny. I saw Clemson as the door to my future.

In the run up to what was suppose to be a triumphant return to Clemson, I was given loads of encouragement from my prophetic community. I had to clear a few hurdles to enroll in classes, and the final piece I need was tuition money.

Not To Be

In faith I packed up my belongings, waved goodbye to my friends in Charlotte, and moved to Clemson. It was suppose to be an epic story of God’s provision and blessing. The money never came. Even with financial aid and student loans, I was woefully short. I reached out to my brother for help, but he didn’t think it was a good idea.

It was not to be.

Shocked and disappointed, I re-packed my car and drove back toward Highway 76. I knew this was my last attempt to attend Clemson. After months of planning and hoping, I was headed out the same way I came in just a few hours prior, and my dream was dead.

Pain Hurts

I asked a lot of questions in the aftermath. Did I miss God? Why do some people receive blessings and I don’t? What’s wrong with me? Despite all that, I couldn’t curse God. I knew that wasn’t the way to make sense of it.

My failed attempt to finish my college education at Clemson was 14 years ago. Until the last 18 months, I didn’t have any answers why I failed, why the Lord didn’t meet me in my hour of need. I do now.

Pain Is not The End

To start, I didn’t miss God. I gave Him a place to move on my behalf, and He did. It just wasn’t to Clemson. Second, I do receive blessings. I was given my old job back and life went on. A year later I began work with a non-profit in West Virginia, which turned out to be a blast. Lastly, nothing was wrong with me. The Lord had a plan, but I couldn’t see it.

Who knows what my life would’ve been had I graduated from Clemson. It’s hard to predict. What I can firmly testify to is the Holy Spirit had my back the entire time. Then as now, my heart was with Jesus. Ultimately, I want His will for my life. As frustrating as that moment was, I’m glad the Lord guided me to where I am today.

What Faith Is

“Failures” like the Clemson debacle and my breakup last year taught me what faith is. Faith is a trust. On occasion, that trust plays out the way I want it to, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s not about the outcomes of a moment. Faith is trust the Lord has my back. In the hard moments, it’s the conviction the Holy Spirit has something better on the other side of gut-wrenching pain and sorrow.

Because, He does. That’s why I’m not bitter or upset my degree isn’t from Clemson. I can look back on my mid-20 with gratitude for that time and the journey since.

God is good.

Your will Lord be done in my life. Thank you for protecting my heart of deep resentments and moving through the deep valley’s of confusion. You don’t want us to suffer, but we will. It’s ok. I am loved and wonderfully made. I trust you.

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Nik Curfman 1/19/21 Nik Curfman 1/19/21

Journal: #180 A Patient Becomes A Son

I’m no longer a needy patient going to the doctor for my daily dose of medicine. I’m a son running out to meet my Father. My head is up and my shoulders are back. I’m here to do work and love people the best I know how to love them. I’m ready to leave all the shame and insecurity behind.

In the dust of a break up and loss of my business partnership, I was given a kind gift: time. I was given hours and days to consider my response to my failures. I am grateful I did not rush off into the arms of another woman, or worry myself enough to seek full-time employment. In my limited wisdom, I chose to fall into the open embrace of the Lord.

Nothing Left To Do

I found plenty of motivation to run after the Lord, especially because I had no pride left to protect. I had no dream left to dream. This was a unique grace as my bleeding heart became a blank canvass eager for new paint.

He Started at the Foundation

God, the sum of wisdom, did not grant me a new vision for my future. Instead, He spoke to me about me, who I am, and what’s in my heart. For the first time, I decided to listen. What He showed me was both familiar and unique. My heart’s most earnest desire is to love people and show them the way to the Jesus of Life.

As the summer ended the shame slide off my back. I started to find steady work and glimpses of what my future could be. On occasion, I felt confident. It shocked me, these moments of steady assurance. I was so unprepared I wept for fear. Yes, fear.

I Didn’t Know How to Be Confident

I have plenty of experience running after the Lord when I’m hurt or in need. I know how to lean on the Holy Spirit when the odds are long and only a miracle will do. Confidence seems like a trap. How dare I believe in me? I need to find a reason defeat this arrogance. And so, I did. Instead of enjoying a fading afternoon or job well done, I searched the cracks of my being for flaws.

(It’s just one more reason God is greater than we know. Despite my neurotic need for shame or fear to push me toward Jesus, He accepts my offerings and didn’t hold back His heart from mine.)

Finding life In Sculpture

Last night I sat down with several spools of wire to create something. What started as a pair of lips turned into lips, a nose, and a vision for a much larger project. Completed, it will be an entire wall hanging, four feet tall, and another five to six feet wide. I’m stoked to work on it.

When I finished last night, I felt good. Happy even? The anxiety I felt earlier in the day was gone, replaced by true joy. For one of the only times in my life, I was happy and excited about something I did. For me. For the following hour I stared at what my work and smiled. I made that.

Let’s Try Confidence Again

After dinner, I went for a victory walk. That confident feeling beamed from my chest, and a tinge of fear crept into my soul. If I don’t feel broken, how do I go after the Lord? What will we talk about? How silly can I be?

What will we talk about?!? EVERYTHING ELSE BRO! LOL!

As I prayed about my thoughts and feelings, I heard the Lord tell me to remember this date: January 18th, 2020. It’s the day I turned the corner from being a broken man into being a redeemed man.

Embracing Progress

Yes. The motivation is very different. I’m no longer a needy patient going to the doctor for my daily dose of medicine. I’m a son running out to meet my Father. My head is up and my shoulders are back. I’m here to do work and love people the best I know how. I’m ready to leave all the shame and insecurity behind.

I’m not mad or dominated by guilt. The new vision laid before is one of trust and daily walks with Jesus. The details are less important. He will supply all my needs, and I will seek wisdom on what’s best for the talents and resources under my control. It’s a real joy to lay my burdens down, and live in shadow of His grace.

Lord of my heart, thank you for your loving-kindness and patience. I’m a silly man, but no less your son. My faith is in you, and I look forward to growing my assurance in You. Bless my friends. Heal my dad. And cover the Chambers family in love and peace.