Daily Journal: #90 Learning to Keep Sabbath
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My Irreverent View of Tradition
Admittedly, I don’t have a high value for observing Jewish holidays and traditions. I don’t see the point. (And to each their own, it just isn’t for me.) Jesus didn’t seem concerned with Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur or Passover. Paul, being a Jew’s Jew, didn’t promote the observance of Jewish law or traditions. So it would seem the New Testament lacks a certain reverence for them.
I’ve always chuckled at Messianic Christians. (Messianic Christians are Christians who incorporate Jews dietary laws, traditions, and other practices into their Christianity.) Like…why? Bacon is delicious, and seder is depressing. It’s as though they dismissed the Jesus who came to set us free from rigid rule-keeping and mindless tradition. However, as already stated, to each their own. Anyone who will read this blog will easily poke holes in what I say and do. Being on the outside of a thing is easy. I hope each dedicated Messianic has powerful encounters with Jesus. That’s what matters most.
So, What’s Up with Sabbath?
Three months ago, my friend Alex told me about his efforts to observe a sabbath each week- a whole day dedicated to rest and relaxation. He doesn’t have a strict set of rules. For instance, he cooks for himself and will do small tasks like fill his tank with gas if need be. Aside from these minimal tasks, he has managed to do almost nothing but enjoy the passing of a day, maybe going for a walk with his dog or swimming in the river.
As he spoke, I felt a need to listen. I stopped observing a true day off as a way to rebel against church, and now I worked nearly everyday. In fact…I feel guilty and lazy if I don’t do something productive everyday. And in case you haven’t read anything else I’ve written this year, I am learning to love myself which includes learning to relax, to let go of expectation.
It took me three month, but I finally got around to “observing a sabbath.” Last week, I did ok. Today? Not so good. I tried to do nothing, maybe watch some football. Then by 5 PM I felt anxiety creeping into my heart. You made a commitment to get that project done. I literally began to tell myself, “You didn’t do anything wrong Nik,” as tears leaked down my face.
I really want to be able to relax and enjoy life. More importantly, I do not want to define myself by how productive I am. It’s a trap. I spent much of my life trying to prove my worth to others and myself. It’s an endless negative feedback loop, forever discontent. I either have value or I don’t. The Lord loves me because I exist and I am his creation. That’s enough.
I think I need a sabbath just to a have a day to remind myself it’s not about what I do. I’m allowed to relax and have a day to myself. It feels ironic, but good.
Lord, thank you for being good to me. Thank you for answering my anxiety. You are my shelter and my counselor, my friend and my Savior.
Amen.
