Journal: #126 No Demons For Me

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

I’m at a tension-filled crossroads. In every previous broken relationship I demonized the lady. It helped me move on. I refuse to do that with A. I want to move on (completely), to let her go, but I don’t want to criticize her to do it. Whenever I find myself listening to judgment, I back away.

She has flaws like any person. She said and did a few things that hurt, as will happen in any meaningful relationship. Despite all that, she’s a wonderful woman. I love her. She’s my friend (I think). So here I am. I want to open my heart to whatever possibilities lay ahead, and I don’t want to crucify her to do it. That’s where I’m living the last few weeks.

I find comfort in these truths: nothing I experience is new, and I’m not destined to be stuck in this tension. There’s a path ahead, and I have no clue what it looks like. My only impulse is to keep moving.

Onward.

Lord, help. LOL I love A. I will not curse or judge her. Bless her life with love and grace. I trust you to lead me.

Amen.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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