Journal: #191 My Old Friend Gratitude
This week was a rollercoaster of snow, promotions, and looking into the dark unknown. I made a decision to stay with my parents for a few month as my dad begins cancer treatments. My marketing firm decided to promote me. Then there was the Snowpocalypse of 2021. Of course, all of this comes as COVID-19 isolation hangs over all of us. This week I had dinner with a friend, my only in person interaction of the week.
I’m thankful for technology. I’m thankful for text messages, Zoom meetings, emails, and clients who take time to ask how I’m doing. I reserve the bulk of my gratitude for my family and friends. Every day, they call or text. I may be isolated, but I am not alone.
And, I haven’t even gotten to the Holy Spirit.
This morning when I woke up, I was tired. I’ve stupidly binged the show The 100. (It’s not great. Not recommended.) Despite feeling strung out, the Lord met me in a way I didn’t expect. He took the gloomy bullshit I’ve battled all week, and sent it somewhere. For no good reason, I felt good and happy.
On my afternoon walk, for no reason at all, I started to recall specific memories from my mid-20’s to my mid-30’s. I’m not proud of that era of my life, and often think of it as a wasted period. I asked myself why are you thinking about these moments and people? The Holy Spirit answered me,”I love this period of your life.”
I was taken back. Why was the Lord proud of me? Hearing my thoughts, he answered,”You didn’t walk away. Despite not having a clear vision and hating parts of yourself, you stuck with Me. You wouldn’t be where you are without that stretch of your life. You had to go through it.”
As the Spirit spoke, the truth was apparent and plain. I did a lot of foundational work from age 25 to 33. I worked for an NGO in West Virginia, finished my bachelors degree, and started down the path toward mental and emotional health. I learned to set boundaries and value myself. I took risks, failed, and grew. Sound familiar?
The thing about being older is I appreciate what I have in this moment. More importantly, the Lord is my top priority and I love myself. I have vision for my life and all of this ups and downs are just part of the road. I’m not rushing to get to the next “thing.”
God is good. Truly. Life is gonna suck somedays. The biggest choice any of us have is our focus. Do we look for what’s good in every moment, or are trained to judge and find flaws even in the best of times?
I’ve done enough bitching and complaining when life seems unfair. Bitterness is soul-sucking. Cynicism is the worst. His glory is present and alive in every atom of the universe, if only I open my eyes to see it. I wanna live and find life in every situation and in any room. I wanna see the Jesus in every person I meet and in me.
(Also, I made a dope new Stevie Wonder playlist on Spotify.)
Lord, thank you. For everything. Especially steaks and eggs and cheese. Amen.
Like this blog? Share it with people you love.
Tag Archive
- Daily Journal 360
- Poem 239
- Faith 97
- Love 82
- God is Good 48
- DJ 41
- Short 41
- poem 40
- Gratitude 37
- Psalms 35
- love 30
- psalms 30
- Jesus 28
- jesus 25
- Grace 22
- Hope 21
- Goals 20
- Dating 15
- Patience 15
- Writing 15
- 2020 14
- Growth 14
- Trust 14
- Fear 13
- Fight 13
- Art 12
- Process 12
- A 11
- Perseverance 11
- Prayer 11
- faith 11
- selflove 11
- Joy 10
- Motivation 10
- Anxiety 9
- God Is Good 9
- West Virginia 9
- Determination 8
- Favorite Moments 8
- Friendship 8
- Honesty 8
- Miracles 8
- Purpose 8
- Travel 8
- a 8
- dj 8
- gratitude 8
- Change 7
- Death 7
- Frustration 7
