Journal: #184 Being Me is a SuperNatural Event
I spent the afternoon reminding myself of the greatness of God in my life, and why we exist. His blessings on my life are legion. It’s awesome. From the job opportunities in front of me to life-giving friendships, He’s always there. I want more.
Insecure As Ever
As I tend to do I judged myself this week for a lack of attention to the supernatural - as if praying for miraculous cancer healings isn’t faith. (I have three people in my life who are fighting the disease.) My concern is I will sink back into a life without the flow and wonder of the Holy Spirit, that my life will become one of tasks and empty accomplishments.
What good are sculptures and poems and blog post without the Lord? What good is anything without love and grace? I don’t care about money or notoriety, and I don’t want fame. I want Him, and for the people around me to know Him.
What I want is life full of faith and the Lord’s presence.
The Lord Is Not Insecure
When I prayed about this the Lord responded with His usual kindness and clarity. Every time I create something new with my hands it’s an act of the Creator. When I sit with people in their pain and love them through loss that is what Jesus did. Whenever I teach someone to grill chicken or tell them about the goodness of God in my life that’s Kingdom leadership. And every prayer, every act of faith, every hand laid and heart opened this is the supernatural too.
Just your Normal SuperNatural Life
The truth is I’ve become so accustomed to the supernatural God-like occurrences, I barely notice them. I don’t feel more or less spiritual when I do anything regardless of what it is. I feel the same when I bend wire as I do when I pray for the sick. Which brings me to my last point.
I think I believed being super spiritual would come with an overhaul of my thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t. I’m still me, which I like. I’m still the guy who cries at videos of rescue dogs, loves to explore new places, and take long solitary walks in the forest.
Me, Trying To Be Someone Else
I’m not sure why I expected anything else. Perhaps it’s because I think my heroes like Corrie ten Boom and Smith Wigglesworth were vastly different than me. And, because I wanted to be like them I needed to be vastly different than who I am.
This entire discussion get’s back to one of my biggest hurdles in life: I have to be someone else. It’s not the Lord who says this, but Nik. And what He told me the other day was to be me, because that’s a supernatural thing all its own.
Back to Basics: Be Me
I know what trying to be like someone else does to me. It’s ugly, and I hate it. Let this blog post stand as I reminder that none of us have a higher calling than to be who we are in Him.
Lord, help me be me. Show me my heart and give me the courage to honor it. Thank you for talking to me and showing me the path to walk. Your kindness soothes my anxious thoughts and destroys my doubt. Thanks.
Amen.
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