Journal: #140 Keep Moving

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

I worked a long day today, most of it spent staring at a computer screen. Near the end I committed one of those annoying and time-consuming blunders, which meant I spent another hour redoing a tedious job. Fak, and oh well. That’s life in 2020. I’m thankful to have work and customers who value what I do for them. Thanks be to God.

After I finished my work day- about an hour ago- I went for a late night walk up the hill into the retirement community next to my neighborhood. The air was calm and crisp. It was a perfect setting to ease my muddle brain and clear out some work-related anxiousness.

Slow Progress

Near the midway point I opened the Health App on my phone. I like to track my steps in the pursuit of the fabled ten-thousand steps per day*. While I reviewed the day I decided to check on the number of consecutive days I hit 10k plus steps. Over the summer I hit 31 days in a row, and immediately followed it up with another 24 days. I knew I passed 24 a while ago.

Turns out, I was right. Today is day 30 in a streak of at least 10k steps each day. Unless some unforeseen major disaster slams into northern California, I will tie the streak tomorrow and break it Wednesday. I teared up at the thought. I’m gonna do it. The growth I experienced this summer is not a flash in the pan.

Shifting Motivation

I have no shame when I admit I was extra motivated over the summer to prove something to myself and a few others. On back-to-back days I broke up with my girlfriend and then my business partner. It was Biblical, or at least comical. To be fair, I expected as much and it was for the best.

So, I knew my motivations would shift as summer slide into autumn, and I was correct. Beginning in October and running well into November, I was worried. Would I continue to run after the Lord? Would I love myself? The answer to both is a resounding yes. Hallelujah.

The Year of Me and Him

This year, this f*cked up Covidian year, is about showing up and doing the little things for the sake of love. And, I’m not referring to romantic sap. I’m talking about patient, kind, long-suffering, but also boundary-setting, I’m-gonna-believe-in-miracles-and-let-God-be-God, love. I’m talking about cursing at the fear rather than people or the past. I’m talking about fighting the wind and pain rather than run from them. I’m talking about showing up and saying, “Lord, I’m here and I trust you.”

2020 is about vision, the type of vision that acts without a detailed master plan. It’s about faith in the things unseen. Part of it is letting go of what I thought was mine, and choosing to believe the Lord will either bring it back or present something greater.

Ultimately, this year is about me and Him. Me being me, and Him being God Almighty. For now and forever more, I can’t hate on 2020. I learned more and put more into practice this year than the previous 20 combined. Of course, the 20 years prior was a slow build, so I do not regret them either. My God truly works all things to the good whenever I let Him work.

Thankfully.

*The science says anywhere from 4,500-7,500/day is good number of steps for most people. I shoot for ten-thousand steps for multiple reasons, but mostly I like going for walks. I enjoy being outside and on the move. While the number of steps is up for debate, new research strongly recommends being outside as way to improve physical, mental, and emotional health. I highly encourage every single human to go on 3-4 outdoor walks per day. Doesn’t have to be long walks, just about ten minutes. 40 minutes per day will get you well above 5,000 steps in addition to your normal routine. It’s simple but effective.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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