Walk in the Woods

Nik Curfman 2/11/21 Nik Curfman 2/11/21

Journal: #203 New Goals

Of all my goals, this is more important than money or drawings. Positive confession over my life and heart makes everything possible. When I say I am a great poet I create a world where that is possible. When I whisper I love you Lord I remind myself of what’s important to me.

During my second stroll of the day, I thought about new goals. I’m fresh off hitting my last round of 45 day goal. “It’s time to up the ante,” I thought. Goals need to be hard yet achievable, at least that’s what people in the Goal Setting business say. I’ll add my contribution with this; in addition to challenging yet doable, goals need to be interesting.

Motivated to Do

I have a history of setting goals I didn’t have motivation to hit. One salient example is reading. While I love to read I am motivated to read in spurts. I bend toward non-fiction books which requires brain space to process. Fiction, on the other hand, tends to disappoint me. I’d rather watch the movie. It is what it is. Accordingly, I stopped making it a goal to read a certain number of books every year.

Only took me 20 years to figure it out.

Doable but challenging

My new goals are practical and in line with the direction my life is heading. They are:

Pay off my tuition to BSSM in the next 45 days. This assumes Uncle Sam will mail me another stimulus check. If so, I’m on the hook for $2500. It’s a tall task, but I’m up for it.
Write a poem every other day for a total of 23 poems in the same period. I like my poetry, and want to write more of it.
Draw or sketch something, no matter what it is, every other day for a total of 23 drawings. Of the three goals, this one seems to be most daunting. It will require me to do instead of judge. I need to allow myself to play and enjoy what I’m doing rather than focus on technique and style.

But Wait, There’s More

In addition to these goal, I want to keep walking 10k+ step every day, personal journaling, and blogging. I set a goal of 340 blogs over the course of my first year. This blog will be 203/340. I’ve got exactly 150 days to write 137 more Journal posts.

In retrospect, I wish I set my goal at 330 posts. I’d like to take Sundays off to rest my mind, which I will do starting in April. This first year of writing is one the most wonderful of my life, and I look forward to year two. I’m planning to reduce the number of blogs, focus on grammar, and use some software tools to help me stay organized. For now I’ve got to push through to hit my original goal.

My personal journaling is something I don’t discuss…because it’s personal. Of everything I do, it’s the most vital. The journal is where I write to the Lord, and I will do whatever it takes to keep the conversation alive. I don’t have a set goal per se, only to show up, be honest, and listen.

That’s not entirely true. The Lord has given me a few task to do. I’ll tell you about one.

Words Are Powerful

Early this year the Lord told be He was going to teach me how to live from the Spirit. He said He was going to show me how to align my heart with His Spirit. So we started with specific to me affirmations. Last year, around this time, I began to proclaim some of the basic over myself- I am loved. I am worthy of love. Etc. This time the Lord asked me to say affirmations like I am a great artist. I am a great poet. (Admitting this publicly is tough.)

Jesus talked about the power of what we speak into this world. The tongue is a sword with two blades, and it cuts both ways. We can “move mountains” and “defile” ourselves. I spent most of my life defiling myself and limiting what was possible. Those days are finished. If the mountains are going to move, I’ve first got to believe they will move.

Of all my goals, this is more important than money or drawings. Positive confession over my life and heart makes everything possible. When I say I am a great poet I create a world where that is possible. When I whisper I love you Lord I remind myself of what’s important to me.

The Lord is asking me and instructing me on how to be me. It’s pretty sweet.

Like this blog? Share it with people you love.

Nik Curfman 12/24/20 Nik Curfman 12/24/20

Journal: #156 Jesus The Teacher

I want to be this kind of crazy. I want to see what’s possible from rubble of life. I want to act on the impossible to see the goodness of the Lord showered on all people. From Luke 9 it’s clear. We’ve got to invite the Lord into all the places of our heart and lives.

The last month, I’ve read the Gospels in parallel. What that means is, for example, I read Matthew 9 on Monday, Mark 9 on Tuesday, and Luke 9 last night. Today I will read John chapter 9. I do this because I want to stay connected to what Jesus said and did on Earth, and to notice the differences between each version of His story.

The Gospels Are Good

I never fail to notice something new or interesting in my reading, even if I’ve read it before. Last week Luke 8 stood out. It’s the only Gospel that mentions the women who followed Jesus, and this is important. For starters, ancient writings- like those from highly regarded Greek philosophers like Aristotle and Plato- were not kind to women. Jesus was unique in regard and treatment of women in the ancient world*.

Jesus the Teacher

In reading Luke 9 last night, a sequence of events stood out. First, Jesus sent out His disciples to preach the Gospel and heal people. He gave them specific instructions in regard to faith and how to move on if people don’t like what they did. In verse 6, we are told they were successful. Next, we read the miracle story of Jesus feeding the 5,000.

Consider this, the disciples just finished a successful miracle healing tour. And now, they needed to feed a bunch of people. Their solution was to send the people into the nearby towns to eat and sleep. It’s not a bad solution, and very practical. But, Jesus ever the teacher, envisioned something else.

Jesus the Faithful

The disciples saw only what they had in hand, not what was possible. All their logic and wisdom told them five loaves of bread and two dead fish are not enough to feed 5,000 people. The math checks out. I would’ve replied as they did,”Hey Jesus, we don’t have it bro. Let’s send them away.”

I love how Jesus responded to their wisdom, “You feed them.” Classic Jesus. How many times does He say something ridiculous in response to a question? The answer is many. He’s crazy. For human eyes and human ears, and hearts focused on human means, Jesus is crazy.

He didn’t see five loaves and two fish. Jesus saw 5,000 people fed. Then He asked, “what do I have to get it done?” He created a place for the Father to provide, and it was more than enough.

I Want Crazy

Ridiculous faith requires a different kind of vision and action. It looks silly and talks silly, but lives like no one else. That’s what I want, and I aim to get.

Foot Notes:

*In fact, the way Jesus treated women and their role in the early church is remarkable considering how women are treated throughout history. Jesus never treated women as inferior or a “lesser vessel.”

It’s a topic I will discuss in greater detail next year, but consider this: the first person Jesus revealed Himself (a revelation) to after His resurrection was a woman. And then He told her to tell everyone else(preach and teach.) There’s nothing more you need to know about what role Jesus has for women in the church.

Lord, bless my heart and mind. Give me vision to see what’s possible from what I have. I do not lack, and I trust you to lead me into the impossible.

Amen.