Walk in the Woods

Daily Journal Nik Curfman Daily Journal Nik Curfman

Vol III: #17 Blogging to Blog

Then I remember why I do this. For them, whoever they will be. Someone needs to read about this lull-of-Nik’s-life in late 2022. That time he didn’t want to blog, while loving his blog, but not feeling it at the time. So…I should post my Biblical discoveries and life experiences, even if they are common or know. Most of life is known and common.

I lost a bit of blogging mojo and I think it coincides with my book writing effort. After a few hours of free-hand writing, blogging is a slog. The process is slower than before and I struggle to come up with topics- feels more like an obligation than a play-place. Then, I ask myself questions like does anyone really want day-to-day updates on my life and thoughts? All of which alarms me, because I can’t imagine a life without this space.

It helps to remember why I do this. I do this for them, whoever they will be. Someone needs to read about this lull-of-Nik’s-life in late 2022. That time he didn’t want to blog, while loving his blog, but not feeling it at the time. So…I should post my Biblical discoveries and life experiences, even if they are common or know. Most of life is known and common.

Here’s to being common and mostly known. There’s beauty in that.

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Journal: #230 Dating In Faith

The Lord has moved me through pain and fear over the last ten years. I’ve dated some great women and a few disasters. At one point in my life I questioned marriage. Why would anyone do it? And now, at 40, I want a special friend, someone I can love. I look forward to meeting her.

Dating can be a minefield of frustration and pain. I envy those who made it through, on to the next great adventure. Regardless, I do not pity myself or ask for it. I know I am where I need to be in life. The sting of my break up last summer still lingers on occasion, but my faith in the Lord. I want His best for my life, whoever it is. I want to be her best too.

Yesterday, I thought about dating. I did this because I received a text from a very sweet young lady. She told me I she was thinking about and praying for my family. As I said, very kind. I kinda hate I’m not interested in her. It’s in times like this I’m grateful I’m not one of those people who date out of boredom or fear. I find it easier to walk away from an opportunity like this.

I think I’ve been on all side the dating world. I’ve been dumped, and dumped my share of ladies. I’ve held huge crushed that weren’t reciprocated. A few women thought I was the man for them when all I saw was a friend. I ghosted a women once and felt like crap after. Her name was Jill. She was smart and successful. I was weak and afraid of life. After a few dates I stopped talking to her. It was a douche move on my part.

I don’t believe dating is different than any other part of life. The more faith I have, the easier it is to say no. It’s also easier to let go. Last June, I let my girlfriend walk away from something good, because that’s what she wanted. It was tough and shitty. The moment required faith and whole lotta sisterly-love from my friend Jesse. (My guardian angel from Texas.)

The Lord has moved me through pain and fear over the last ten years. I’ve dated some great women and a few disasters. At one point in my life I questioned marriage. Why would anyone do it? And now, at 40, I want a special friend, someone I can love. I look forward to meeting her.

As always, my faith is in the Lord to make it happen. Then, I expect Him to be our cover and foundation. I look forward to writing about it when the time comes. His will be done.

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