Journal: #230 Dating In Faith

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

Dating can be a minefield of frustration and pain. I envy those who made it through, on to the next great adventure. Regardless, I do not pity myself or ask for it. I know I am where I need to be in life. The sting of my break up last summer still lingers on occasion, but my faith in the Lord. I want His best for my life, whoever it is. I want to be her best too.

Yesterday, I thought about dating. I did this because I received a text from a very sweet young lady. She told me I she was thinking about and praying for my family. As I said, very kind. I kinda hate I’m not interested in her. It’s in times like this I’m grateful I’m not one of those people who date out of boredom or fear. I find it easier to walk away from an opportunity like this.

I think I’ve been on all side the dating world. I’ve been dumped, and dumped my share of ladies. I’ve held huge crushed that weren’t reciprocated. A few women thought I was the man for them when all I saw was a friend. I ghosted a women once and felt like crap after. Her name was Jill. She was smart and successful. I was weak and afraid of life. After a few dates I stopped talking to her. It was a douche move on my part.

I don’t believe dating is different than any other part of life. The more faith I have, the easier it is to say no. It’s also easier to let go. Last June, I let my girlfriend walk away from something good, because that’s what she wanted. It was tough and shitty. The moment required faith and whole lotta sisterly-love from my friend Jesse. (My guardian angel from Texas.)

The Lord has moved me through pain and fear over the last ten years. I’ve dated some great women and a few disasters. At one point in my life I questioned marriage. Why would anyone do it? And now, at 40, I want a special friend, someone I can love. I look forward to meeting her.

As always, my faith is in the Lord to make it happen. Then, I expect Him to be our cover and foundation. I look forward to writing about it when the time comes. His will be done.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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