Journal: #215 I’m Not Crazy, Just Prophetic

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

For twenty years, I’ve seen pictures and felt emotions I can’t explain. I am a crazy Christian, the type foolish enough to believe God talks directly to me. I know He does. Every time I think of someone and stopped to listen to the Holy Spirit on their behalf, He’s given me a timely word for them. I can’t count the occasions where the person in mind immediately responded with excitement or joy.

I’m Not Crazy

When I was twenty-three, I woke up in the middle of the night in terror. I felt the Lord ask me to pray against terrorism in Israel. Two days later I saw a newspaper story about a would be teenage suicide bomber at a checkpoint in the Gaza Strip. He surrendered rather than bomb the checkpoint because he “wanted to live.” (I still have that paper.)

A few years later, on an aimless internet surf, I ran across a story of an Afghani man in prison for the crime of converting to Christianity. For a week I fasted and prayed. In my man I saw this man walking free despite the Afghani government insistence that he be executed. I woke up the following Saturday to find out he was covertly flown out of the country. His life was spared.

Over and over again I’ve heard the voice of the Lord speaking to me, and I trust Him.

Time To Move Forward

Today, I put out a fleece. I don’t know if I’m impatient or wise, but I gotta do it. Since December I believe I’ve heard the Holy Spirit speak about an issue close to my heart. I’m either delusional or right where I need to be. In any case, I want to move forward. I just need something to hang my hat on, an indication I’m right or wrong. I’ll take either.

Listening to the Lord is not a science. Each of us misses the mark. We insert our desires and hopes in the place of His voice. Millions of good Christians got it wrong last November, and millions more will do it in the next election. It is….what it is. I’m no different.

In Faith I Pray

This ask I make of the Lord is one of faith rather and entitlement. I’m not asking for a million dollars or new car. I’m just asking to know I’m not crazy. Not this time. I’ll be happy with the result because I know He’s got me. My trust is in Him, not the outcome I desire. I’ve desired enough outcomes to know His best is better than mine.

So, to the handful of my faithful readers, stand with me. I offer no details, and I will not report back later after the window closes. Whatever comes, I decided to embrace the outcome as His will for me. Again, because I trust Him.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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Journal: #214 I Have A Wonderful Life