Walk in the Woods

Nik Curfman 8/11/23 Nik Curfman 8/11/23

Vol IV: #6 Quick, Simple, and Easy

In all my years of YouTube watching (and blog reading), I learned to stay away from three words: quick, simple, and easy. And the more wisdom I accrue, the more I hate them. Cooking is a skill, to be learned and refined. The way I grill my steaks or bake bread today is done with little thought or wasted effort. And thought I can explain what I do to anyone willing to listen, they still need to dive into the process and learn it for themselves.

As a lover of cooking and recipes, YouTube is my go platform when I want more details on given cuisine or particular dish. Not all recipes are created equal and thus I’ve learned to watch several before decided on a path forward. For example, today I will make Japanese fried chicken called karaage for dinner. And while I’ve attempted to make it before, I want to improve my results. Accordingly, I’ve watched 5-6 videos from channels I trust. And even then, their is great variation.

A few cooks suggested using potato starch to coat the chicken, while some use a mix of AP flour and corn starch. 2-3 use an egg to help the flour stick and coat the chicken and nearly all called for the double fry technique to ensure a crunchy exterior. What I look for is the common ingredients and techniques in each recipe, what’s solid and true. In the case of karaage, I need grated garlic, minced ginger, soy sauce, mirin, and sake. And salt and pepper. The rest is up to me.

Life is similar. What I value and trust I earned over years of failure and struggle and learning to endure. I no longer want easy or quick, rather I want to endure. And I no longer pray for lumps of money or success, but the strength to do my work. My hope is to support myself and a family. Praying for bags of money to fall from the sky isn’t a business plan and it doesn’t satisfy my soul. I was made to work and toil and find meaning in the effort.

Nik Curfman 4/27/23 Nik Curfman 4/27/23

Vol III: #79 Proud of My Work

He looked off camera and signed. “Nothing you do is special and the field is highly competitive. I could just hire someone off UpWork.” Oh? I wondered and then began to boil. Why don’t you “just hire someone from Upwork?” Do us all a favor. But I said nothing. This man named Leif was blithely unaware of the faux pas he’d committed as he continued to belittle my company and the value we provide for our customers. Poor bastard.

He looked off camera and signed. “Nothing you do is special and the field is highly competitive. I could just hire someone off UpWork.” Oh? I wondered and then began to boil. Why don’t you “just hire someone from Upwork?” Do us all a favor. But I said nothing. This man named Leif was blithely unaware of the faux pas he’d committed as he continued to belittle my company and the value we provide for our customers. Poor bastard. He didn’t know he was drawing dead after his expression of contempt for our services, like a fool adding chips to the pot when he’s already beat. And out of habit or professional duty I managed to answer a few of remaining questions as we discussed the next step in the sales process.

After the call ended I went for a walk, a long walk on an unusually hot spring afternoon. Half way through the forest, I began to argue with an imaginary version of that sonofabitch, to justify my perspective. And then, I began to worry about what how to explain the situation to my boss. Tim is a gentle man and kind to the extreme. I envisioned Tim finding a way to work with that douche bag even though everything inside me screamed nope, not today dickbag. And then, as I do, I questioned myself. Was I being the asshole? Was I being too sensitive? Leif’s careless disregard for my profession felt like a personal attack, though he was likely a douche being a douche.

And now, in the safety of my cool apartment, I still feel a bit ashamed by Leif’s words and weary of the looming conversation with Tim. But, I did what I thought was right. Leif is a dick with selfish intentions. He would’ve been a nightmare as a client. Emotion aside, I did my job and I’m proud of the work I did today.

Nik Curfman 12/14/22 Nik Curfman 12/14/22

Vol III: #49 Working For Walmart

I finally found dependable employment, at Walmart of all places. Last week, I started as an independent delivery driver and I couldn’t be happier to do so. It’s a job that pays well enough while offering the the freedom I need. And, should a sweet marketing gig come along, I can work that too. Life is good. I mean that. Yes, like most people, I’d like to possess more money. But, so what? Most of the miserable people I know want what I have- time and space to pursue their interests.

I finally found dependable employment, at Walmart of all places. Last week, I started as an independent delivery driver and I couldn’t be happier to do so. It’s a job that pays well enough while offering the freedom I need. And, should a sweet marketing gig come along, I can work that too. Life is good. I mean that. Yes, like most people, I’d like to possess more money. But, so what? I’d rather have extra time and freedom.

As for the job, the requirements couldn’t be easier. I’m paid to shop for a customer and deliver the order to their home or office. Or, I’m paid to deliver a pre-sorted order. The biggest hassle is Walmart itself. Items are often missing or on the wrong isle or bin, and the pre-sorted orders take too long to fill. I try to select only shop and deliver orders because I can complete two trips in the time it takes a Walmart employee to fill one order. (Talk about a case study of employee behavior i.e. paid by the hour vs. paid by the job. The hourly employees are slow and dull.) All things considered, it’s a good gig and I hope I can keep going as long I need it.

Aside from the work, I’ve enjoyed observing the buzz and culture around a Walmart. Most employees and customers tend have a shameful way about them, shoulders slumped and eyes down. Few move with purpose or sense of urgency. The employees are hard-working people and there’s no shame in putting in a day’s work. It’s unfortunate we see minimum wage work as shameful or low-class. For my part, I try to smile and say thank you whenever interacting with an employee. A few responded well and I look forward to being a light where I am planted.

The other interesting aspect is the independent driver culture. I’ve yet to have a meaningful interaction with a fellow driver, but I watch them talk in the parking lot between deliveries. Mostly, they seem to complain about Walmart or the app we use to complete orders. Neither conversation interests me, so I spend my down time making sketches, reading, or journaling. (I do not expect Walmart to be a well run machine. It never is. My goal is to game the system. I have my job and it’s up to me to maximize my earnings.) One fun aspect of the culture is how driver navigate the lack of regulations on how a delivery is made or completed. What I mean by this is some drivers have a partner or spouse with them and they work as a team. One lady totes her baby through the store as she looks for items on her list. And, a few drivers have dogs with them. What a time to be a live.

And there we all are, living our lives, brought together by the cheapest retailer in the world. I’m genuinely stoked to be a part of it.

Nik Curfman 6/1/21 Nik Curfman 6/1/21

Abstract: Enjoy The Grind

I’m one of the lucky ones, blessed to live without obligations to a wife or children.

I can take risks and change direction midstream.

As I have.

I realize my advantage, and I will honor it.

It seems to me, for the people who love what they do,

they love the grind of the process and as a result the process demands little of them.

It’s not work- they soul-sucking kind—if you enjoy it.

It’s why every single job has someone who is happy and many who are not.

None of us were born to file files, write emails, or organize shelves.

No child has yet to answer “I wanna be a customer service representative for a shitty cable company” when they grow up.

High school kids are not prepared to punch a clock simply to wait for the day to end.

No mid-level manager is thrilled by presentations or report computations.

I’m one of the lucky ones, blessed to live without obligations to a wife or children.

I can take risks and change direction midstream.

As I have.

I realize my advantage, and I will honor it.

My task is to find what I will enjoy, even in the grind.

Nik Curfman 2/12/21 Nik Curfman 2/12/21

Journal: #204 Shit Day, Kinda

On days like this, the only thing I got is Him. That’s not a dismissal of anyone or anything, but my belief He makes the suffering worth it.

Today was a long grind of a day. On top of the work I had to do, I had a stack of meetings late into the evening. It was not my favorite way to spend a Friday, but that’s life as a contract marketer. I work and meet on my clients schedule. I’m thankful for the work, but there’s never an end. Work just leads to more work. Bigger, better, more, right? Isn’t that what we’re about?

I want to complain about it. I want to bitch and moan, and wonder what the f*ck I’m doing with my life. The truth is this will pass- the mood I’m in and my marketing career. It’s not a life move, but a temporary way point from where I was in BBQ to where I’ll be in the next few years.

**(As if to demonstrate my point, Justin texted me as I wrote this post.)**

In truth, I work with some great guys. They love and respect me. They’ve honored my work and given me a raise, a new title, and little gifts along the way. I can’t say enough them. Alex and Justin are the exact opposite of what I experience from my business partner last year. They care about me and listen to what I want and need for my life. (See the screenshot.)

So…like I said, I’m in a good situation. I will not complain. Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to learn and grow in an environment of honor and grace.

If I was were still slinging BBQ, I’d still be in Redding. I would not have the freedom to fly across the country to be with my parents as my dad begin cancer treatments. No. I will not complain or fall into self-pity. This moment is special. I’m happy to have it.

The angst I feel is me being hard on myself. This moment is a chance to love on me and affirm who I am. I’m tired of my life and being measured everyday. That’s why I’m so thankful for the love and grace of the Lord. It’s not about numbers with Him. His love stretches to the horizon without regret. And, He’s so kind.