Walk in the Woods

Daily Journal Nik Curfman Daily Journal Nik Curfman

Journal: #142 I Am A Garden

[i]f we struggle on, let Him pull the weeds, we become a garden. We become the place where His hands are most productive. Today, I forgot I was in process. I forgot I don’t need to be perfect. Once I remembered I’m a man in process and the people around me are in process, I found patience and peace.

I haven’t discussed my daily Bible reading, but I will today. It’s time.

I felt overwhelmed by work today, so I went for a walk to center myself. I hate feeling like a failure, like I’m going to fail. It’s like someone is holding a sign over my head and it reads “FRAUD.” Fortunately, the trail was empty.

I made it up the path, passed the big oak tree, then broke down in tears. All of the things hit me once. And, I hate that I still think about people I’d rather not think about. It’s the worst.

It’s NOt As Bad As All That

In the grand scheme of my life, my situation not as bad as I make it sound. The fact that I go for walks and make time for myself is progress. More importantly, I am in process. I am evolving as a man, and it requires grace.

Scripture As Seed

While I prayed, I remembered the parable of the Sower. That story helped get me through my breakup last summer, and it helped me get through today. This is the Message translation of Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23.

1-3 At about that same time Jesus left the house and sat on the beach. In no time at all a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat. Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.

3-8 “What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.

9 “Are you listening to this? Really listening?


18-19 “Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news of the kingdom and doesn’t take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person’s heart. This is the seed the farmer scatters on the road.

20-21 “The seed cast in the gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.

22 “The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.

23 “The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.”

We Are Gardens

We are all on continuum, a trek, a whatever-you-want-to-call-it journey through life, and most of us are trying to live the best life we can. The parable of the Sower is about the process we go through as Christians in our walk with the Lord.

We all start as roads unable to receive the goodness of the Lord. Then we decided to be open our hearts to Him. We go from being a road to a rocky field. There is joy in the beginning. It’s good.

If we continue to run after the Lord, we removes the rocks from our fields. And, He sows more seeds in us. In His wisdom we are allowed to see the weeds grow too. This is where many Christians are stuck, faced with flaws and shame.

But if we struggle on, let Him pull the weeds, we become a garden. We become the place where His hands are most productive. Today, I forgot I was in process. I forgot I don’t need to be perfect. Once I remembered I’m a man in process and the people around me are in process, I found patience and peace.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for scripture and love and everything You give us. You’re wonderful. I love ya.

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