Walk in the Woods

Daily Journal Nik Curfman Daily Journal Nik Curfman

Journal: #136 Words Matter

Earlier this year I tried to build myself into a person impervious to isolation. I thought I could affirm myself enough to go without it from others. The last two days taught me I will always appreciate a kind word even if it is boilerplate.

What is it about a compliment from a stranger I (we) love so much? Maybe you don’t, but twice in the last two days I received an unexpected affirmation, and it nearly brought me to tears. One one hand, I feel like I should be slightly disturbed by it. On the other hand, I’ll take it. These are not the days to reject or judge kindness.

Work is Work

Most of my customers are women a bit older than me. They are strong, relentless, and ambitious. I like it. They know what they want and allow me to do my work without micro-managing every detail. I’m blessed to work with and for them.

In a professional setting, where dollars spent on my services need to see a return, it’s rare to be offered an off the cuff compliment. My customers aren’t rude or cold, just focused. They don’t know I’ve been isolated for the last few months, that most days the only reason I leave the house is to go for solitary walks. How or why would they know such a fact?

Yesterday, during a routine progress review, I made a rather simple suggestion to my a customer. We need more market assets- photos, video, and testimonials- for her website and social media. Since she will have a bevy of students on hand in February for an intensive class, I told her to schedule a videographer for the event. It’s rare in 2020 to be able to bring together all the pieces like this, so let’s take advantage of the moment.

I’m not sure what about it tripped her trigger, but a she flashed a rare smile and said “That’s really great idea. Good job.” Never mind the fact, I busted my ass for this lady since August. This one, unprompted, comment left me floored. I wanted to cry right on the spot.

She’s not mean mind you. Just focused.

You’re Accepted

Today, I had my in-person (on Zoom) interview for BSSM. It went like I thought it would. I wasn’t nervous, and accurately guessed which questions my interviewer asked. Better said, it was easier than any job interview. If anything, I thought I rambled a bit on some answers.

Toward the end of the interview, Steve asked me what I wanted to experience from BSSM. I told him I wanted mentorship, a place to grow, and then whatever the Lord has for me. In truth, it’s all about what the Lord wants. The others would be a nice bonus. Steve liked that answer, as he seemed to appreciate most of them.

Then he asked if I had any question for him. I did, so I asked about what school would like next year. His answered the way I thought he would. He couldn’t say. COVID is a SOB. I thought the interview was over, but then Steve said,”I’m happy to tell you you’re accept to BSSM for next September.”

I nearly lost it. I went from zero to a hundred in half a heart beat, and I struggled to hold my emotions in check. Why did I respond that way? Sure, I’m happy to go, and looking forward to what comes. But, this? After the call ended, I let the emotions flow. Why not?

Words Matter

In my life, I’ve been accepted to eight different institutions of “higher learning.” The list includes Clemson University, NC State, and the illustrious Central Piedmont Community College. I can’t recall being excited or elated at the news. In each case I believed my admission to be a foregone conclusion. Of course they’d let me in.

I didn’t doubt my admission to BSSM. Their standards do not rival the Ivy League. Not yet. So I don’t believe it was the admittance to the school that got to my heart. My involuntary response came from the words “you’re accepted” just as I broke a bit when Cindy said “Good job.”

Earlier this year I tried to build myself into a person impervious to isolation. I thought I could affirm myself enough to go without it from others. The last two days taught me I will always appreciate a kind word even if it is boilerplate.

I’m also happy I was able to receive their kindness. In the past, I’ve deflected such words or felt entitled to them. In this moment, I am grateful, and I want to remain so.

Thank you Lord for the kindness of strangers. Thank you for little bits of grace and sunshine in these lonely moments. Most importantly, thank you for giving me eyes to see and ears to hear your voice in the mouth of the people around me.

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