Walk in the Woods

Nik Curfman 2/26/21 Nik Curfman 2/26/21

Abstract: We All Have A Garden

We all have Garden,

We all have sin,

Death will come for us all.

The difference is who we trust,

And the life we’re livin’.

From the Garden they were expelled,

And to the Garden He went,

Hours before He was murdered.

They lacked for nothing,

In a paradise grown just for them,

His companions couldn’t be bothered to stay up,

As Jesus walked through the beginning of His end.

Each in a Garden,

All faced the most human fear,

Death the thief of life.

Adam and Eve didn’t trust their Father,

But, Jesus did.

Adam and Eve didn’t die,

But, Jesus did.

Adam and Eve didn’t come back from their end,

But, Jesus did.

We all have Garden,

We all have sin,

Death will come for us all.

The difference is who we trust,

And the life we’re livin’.

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Nik Curfman 12/12/20 Nik Curfman 12/12/20

Journal: #145 Snakes And Worms

Snakes in the road. Worms in the garden. That’s life with Jesus.

Last night I had two odd, and apparently unconnected, dreams. They were both flashes of a dream lasting mere seconds. I nearly forgot about them if not for my usual stroll with the Lord this morning.

Dream One

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In the first dream, I walked down a long road through a landscape similar to the one in the picture- the western United States. The next part is a bit odd, and as I said in the intro it all happened in a few seconds. Suddenly, no longer walking, I was pushed or pulled by a force I could not see…by my head. And, my head was on the ground. I wasn’t comfortable, just odd. Then, snakes. My head started to encounter packs of small snakes in the road, and they were mad.

The snakes were dull yellow and orange, They laid in tight bunches on the road, and hissed as I neared them. I believe they tried to bite me, and perhaps did. Regardless, they couldn’t hurt me. I recall thinking “this is odd,” but I was unafraid.

Dream Two

The second dream was similar. It was brief, more like a picture or gif than a full dream sequence. Again, my face was close to the ground. Instead of a road, this time it was green grass after a steady rain. I noticed the ground was alive and moved. It was worms, healthy earth worms. Then, the dream ended, and I continued to sleep.

How? Are These Connected?

Since my roommate is gone till January, I decided on a lazy start to my Saturday. At 9 AM I was still in bed, then I heard the Lord say, “Let’s go for a walk.” It’s a good thing He did. I wasn’t motivated to do much, and my head was filled with thoughts about recent political events. After I got dressed, made coffee, and began a load of clothes, I finally made it out the door.

My walk was a typical mix of focused prayers and random thoughts, punctuated with a few tears. The route I took was my usual route up the hill into the retirement community of mobile homes. In my ming, I wondered if the Lord had something for me, or if He was merely encouraging me to do something He knew I wanted to do.

Stupid Snakes

On my way back I noticed a collection of rubber animals outside one double wide. They are always there, and they feature a set of small snakes. In that moment I began to understand what the Lord wanted to communicate today. Up to that point, I’d forgotten all about my dreams from last night.

For the next few minutes I spoke to the Lord about snakes. They are predators, liars, and were after my mind. These weapons of the enemy hang out in packs, and are only effective if I stop to entertain them. These snakes are all the lies I believed in the past- I am a loser. I am not good enough, no one loves me, etc.

In His goodness, the Lord reminded me the snakes cannot hurt me, if I keep walking with Him. Snakes will always be part of the road, because it part of life in this earthly reality. It’s ok. I am made to overcome them. Every time.

Glory Worms

It would have been a good morning if that’s all the Lord showed me, but He wasn’t done. 50 feet from my front door, crawling across the sidewalk toward a patch grass was an earth worm. I didn’t need to ask the Lord a single question. When I saw the worm the Holy Spirit downloaded the answers into my soul before I asked the questions.

The worms are a sign of health, as worms help recycle dead biomass into fertilizer. And, the abundance of worms in my dream meant the Lord is working to grow my garden, even if I can’t see it. He’s working.

Snakes Are Part of Life, Gardens Our Destiny

The enemy wants us to believe the lies. And, if we don’t believe the lies, he wants us to focus on the presence of the lies. You’re a Christian. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. Something is wrong. It’s bullshit, and the enemy wants to turn our attention to anything other than Jesus.

The Lord is forever asking us to walk with Him. The invitation to meet Him in the Garden is eternal. It’s the place where we find life, grace, and love. And, He’s always moving. We are even destined to become gardens from Him, to host His presence and glory.

Snakes in the road. Worms in the garden. That’s life with Jesus.

The concept of the Lord moving in my life, without noticed or credit, is something I’ve thought about this year. Like worms under the surface of the ground, He’s never stops working.

The worship song below is my current favorite. It’s the Bethel Music of Osinachi Kalu Okoro Egbu’s Way Maker. Her original version is just as good.

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Nik Curfman 12/9/20 Nik Curfman 12/9/20

Journal: #142 I Am A Garden

[i]f we struggle on, let Him pull the weeds, we become a garden. We become the place where His hands are most productive. Today, I forgot I was in process. I forgot I don’t need to be perfect. Once I remembered I’m a man in process and the people around me are in process, I found patience and peace.

I haven’t discussed my daily Bible reading, but I will today. It’s time.

I felt overwhelmed by work today, so I went for a walk to center myself. I hate feeling like a failure, like I’m going to fail. It’s like someone is holding a sign over my head and it reads “FRAUD.” Fortunately, the trail was empty.

I made it up the path, passed the big oak tree, then broke down in tears. All of the things hit me once. And, I hate that I still think about people I’d rather not think about. It’s the worst.

It’s NOt As Bad As All That

In the grand scheme of my life, my situation not as bad as I make it sound. The fact that I go for walks and make time for myself is progress. More importantly, I am in process. I am evolving as a man, and it requires grace.

Scripture As Seed

While I prayed, I remembered the parable of the Sower. That story helped get me through my breakup last summer, and it helped me get through today. This is the Message translation of Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23.

1-3 At about that same time Jesus left the house and sat on the beach. In no time at all a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat. Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.
3-8 “What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.
9 “Are you listening to this? Really listening?

18-19 “Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news of the kingdom and doesn’t take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person’s heart. This is the seed the farmer scatters on the road.
20-21 “The seed cast in the gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.
22 “The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.
23 “The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.”

We Are Gardens

We are all on continuum, a trek, a whatever-you-want-to-call-it journey through life, and most of us are trying to live the best life we can. The parable of the Sower is about the process we go through as Christians in our walk with the Lord.

We all start as roads unable to receive the goodness of the Lord. Then we decided to be open our hearts to Him. We go from being a road to a rocky field. There is joy in the beginning. It’s good.

If we continue to run after the Lord, we removes the rocks from our fields. And, He sows more seeds in us. In His wisdom we are allowed to see the weeds grow too. This is where many Christians are stuck, faced with flaws and shame.

But if we struggle on, let Him pull the weeds, we become a garden. We become the place where His hands are most productive. Today, I forgot I was in process. I forgot I don’t need to be perfect. Once I remembered I’m a man in process and the people around me are in process, I found patience and peace.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for scripture and love and everything You give us. You’re wonderful. I love ya.