Journal: #224 Rough Day Today

Daily Journal
Written By Nik Curfman

It’s a bit ironic. Yesterday, I wrote about “My New Reality”, one rooted in faith in the Lord. My finals words were “I’m not letting go.” Just a few hours later I was able to test that sentiment. I don’t know what it was today, but it was a rough day today. I mostly felt mentally and emotionally overwhelmed.

Lot’s of people in my life are facing literal life and death situations. I’m staring down a few of my own challenges, as is normal in life. These facts are not new; however, I wasn’t quite able to toe the line early in my day. I broke down after lunch and my dad was there to hug me while I cried. It’s the first good cry in months, a solid effort on my part.

Eventually, I found my way to the Lord and wrote today’s poem- Faith in the Storms. I needed to admit I was scared and felt powerless. Storms, fires, and earthquakes are part of life. Death, pain, and sorrow are unavoidable. I can either cower in the corner or speak to the storm and walk on the water. Today, I chose to walk on the water.

I chose to trust the Holy Spirit. Nothing changed. I didn’t experience or hear about miracles (yet.) Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a sin. Feeling powerless and sad is human. I’m not going to kick myself when I’m down. As the day closes, I feel the peace beyond logic.

Yeah, today was a rough day. I accept the fact I will experience many more over the course of my life. I’m happy I ran to Jesus. It’s a habit that will limit the despair and help me move through the darkness. This is what winning looks like.

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Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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