DJ: #67 My Life Ain’t Boring

I apologize for being a bit vague this morning. I’m going to describe a conversation without the juicier details; however, I likely will write about the details in the next few months- one way or another.

Last night one of my very best and oldest friends randomly texted me, “Have you ever thought about X?” (X is a thing, not a person.) I responded I had thought about X, but jokingly. X seems like it could be fun, worth doing. This friend gave me some encouragement and left it at that.

Early today, I thought about X. At the earliest, it’s a year away. As I thought about September 2021, my mind spun a bit. “A lot can change in year,” I admitted to myself. Then I thought back to September of 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, and beyond. In each of those years my life was substantially different than the previous year.

September 2019: I owned a small share of a BBQ company, recently recovered from a mystery stomach illness, and generally thought my life was about to take off.

September 2018: I moved to San Francisco to pursue a career in technology. I spent the last few years in Redding a drift and thought it was a good move.

September 2017: I shut down my pop-up Cafe Prohibition and focused on contract work in marketing and project management. 2017 was my hardest year to California. I battled depression and suicide most of the summer.

September 2016: I started my pop-up, Cafe Prohibition. I left a tech sales job that August, because I knew sales and the associated grind would never be my thing. I wanted something different for my life. On a personal level I was still reeling from a break-up. I exercised to extreme levels, and lost no weight. The shame was overwhelming.

September 2015: I worked for a non-profit as a communication manager. And I started a juice fast after I watched the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. During this time I also connected with the Lord in powerful way. I was in a similar place to where I am now. I put myself in His hands everyday. My wisdom now is to stay in this place. I’m never leaving.

September 2014: Recently promoted, I worked hard to prove myself at my first tech job. My life looked up even though I hated the job. I trusted the Lord and did my best.

September 2013: This might be one of the 3-4 rock bottom moments of my life. I was submerged in shame and absolutely hated my job. I hated myself as I sold fresh fish over the phone. Management/ownership was, without question, the worst group of men I have ever worked for.

I can go on, but I’ll stop here. Over this time frame I’ve held nine different jobs, received mail at ten different addresses, and lived with twelve roommates. As you can see, almost every year from one September to the next, my life has changed in dramatic fashion. I have not held the same profession for more than a year. (To be fair to myself, I’ve hustled in marketing dating back to 2015. It just wasn’t my main gig like it is now.) If I pursue X as mentioned above, the trend would continue, more change and new people.

There is something to be said for stability, and I assume one year of my life will be like the one before. But, I’m ok with how the last seven years unfolded. Our Father is great. In every single one of these years, I can now clearly see Him at work. Nothing was wasted. And it ain’t boring.

I admit my biggest concern, if that’s the right word, is what others will think if I pursue X. Automatically I know I shouldn’t care what others will think. I confess such thoughts to expose them. How silly it is we should allow the opinions of others is influence our decisions.

I’m so thankful I’ve spent the last seven years taking risks. It’s made me resilient and unafraid to fail. I think the decision is already made.