Abstract: Armed, No Longer Helpless


I awoke early this morning,

in a daze of depression and self-doubt.

Everything is wrong,

and all my answers seem void.

Why do I cycle through these phases,

from stability into emotional darkness?

My head is below the surface,

and the waves toss me where they will.

But I, through Love and Grace,

planted the seeds of salvation for this moment.

I can’t control my emotions,

but I decide if they control me.

This is not rock bottom.

I’ve been there before.

This fragment of life is a snapshot,

a sliver of unhappiness in a sea of gratitude.

I will write, hike, and pray,

work, cry and find laughs.

Whatever depression is/how it works,

Is not for me to understand.

I’m here to battle it,

through the intention of thought, through discipline, and love.

These are the moments the Spirit armed me to address,

and I will not back down from the fight.


Nik Curfman

I am a writer and artist in the early stages of my trek. I spent 20 years trying to be who I thought I needed to be, and now I am running after who I am. Fearless Grit is my space to document and share the process. 

https://fearlessgrit.com
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Vol II: #9 Battling Depression

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Vol II: #8 Going Fishing