DJ: #73 Getting Busier
On our walk today I told the Lord about my fear of the future. The last three months, while difficult, were magical. I’ve grown and moved into new freedoms. I sloughed off my need for approval and affirmation (mostly.) And, I’ve embraced who I am and what’s important to my soul. I feel more alive at forty than I did at thirty. So despite all of the “failure” of 2020, I’m on a path to my greatness.
When I think about the coming future, I cringe. Thursday I start a new engagement, one that will require a good chunk of my time. Along with my increasing work for Cultre, my free time will soon be reduced to that of a normal person. (LOLOLOLOL. I know I’m spoiled.) I am genuinely concerned about being too busy to be healthy. I can’t go back to serving others while I starve myself.
In truth, I knew this was coming, the change. I need to increase my income, so I need the work. No doubt this increase in workload is a blessing. The question is, what do I do? Also, how do I navigate this new season? Now, I see the moment for what it is. It’s a perfect time to learn what to sacrifice and what to prioritize. I usually sacrifice me, and put everyone else first. Work, and by extension making money, has got to remain a secondary priority in my life. I think that means missing a deadline or pushing a meeting when I must.
I recently read the story of the Widow and the copper coins aka the Widow’s mite. Common teachings of this passage include cheerful giving, or deeper read by Jesus into the social reality of widows. (Widows were economically limited but also required to tithe to the Temple. It’s not unlike TV preachers promising miracles as they ask us to “Sow a seed of faith” to support their multi-million dollar organization.) Both of these common teachings miss the broader messages Jesus often repeated: give God everything.
Just ten verses earlier in Mark 12, Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 6 “Love the Lord God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Added to Jesus’ exhortation in Matthew 6 “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you,” I see a broader message forming.
The Widow gave what she had, and maybe out of obligation. But she also did it in faith. She- more than the others- put herself in the hands of the Father. The others gave out of excess. We still give out of excess. We pray and make time for Jesus when we find the time. It doesn’t cost us anything, not a sacrifice.
I don’t believe Jesus is asking for a sacrifice per se. I think what I lean into is the idea that Jesus must stay first always. Work cannot supplant Him again. Never again. I will let the work stuff sort itself out. I’ll be ok.
Your will be done Lord.
