Abstract: What If I Live To Be 100
Mr Death has been such a part of my life,
I consider him part of the family,
coming for friends and relatives a like,
from the earliest time I can remember,
and very present today.
As a child, I let him in,
to my heart, my dreams and hopes,
the way I view life and how I live.
And as older loves began to stand on the block,
lined up and ready (or not),
seems like their time is short.
And I worry and spend my days bound by the fear of the inevitable visit.
I know Mr will come for me too,
so I cry and weep for the years I wasted,
and struggle to direct my steps,
to make the most of whatever days I have left.
But, what if?
What if I live to be 100, not 60.
What if I find a good wife,
father children,
and grandchildren, and more.
What if I live through whatever wars and violence and oppressions to come?
What if my life isn’t winding down, but just getting started?
What IF…I stopped worrying about dying in 20 years, and stopped trying to fit all my possibilities through the narrow slit in between now and then?
What…If?
Oh my, what a glory and a gift.
To hope and dare to believe,
To live and live and live, and then LIVE EVEN MORE.
Have I not repented of my slave ways?
Sought the Lord?
Honored my parents?
And pointed my heart to what is good and holy?
Yes!
Imperfectly, but yes!
Then let me eat for life, not death!
Let me breath for eternity,
not personal fear or crisis of the moment.
Let my soul sing and imagination dance,
and let me break my blinders of shame and devotion to death.
The Lord is my God,
and I will not fear death or when he comes for me.
And Jesus, I repent,
for allowing death to be my lord,
the one who dominated my thoughts and choices.
I want you to dominate my notions and emotions,
to be hopeful and full of joy,
to believe and live by faith,
to smile at pain and stand strong against every wind bold enough to rush my direction.
And I will no longer worry about when Mr Death will come for me,
he is your servant after all,
and so am I.
When my day comes, to go home forever,
let me smile as I cross the stage into the great Beyond.
But for now and until that day,
I will live and work and plan in this moment,
present and forward, living in each moment rather than
broken and afraid of what’s to come.
I’m going to live to be 100.
Today is the day I began acting like it.
“For as a man thinks within himself, so he is.” - Proverbs 23:7
