DJ: #52 Choice is My Super Power

The last time I stepped on a scale I weighed 231 pounds. Officially, it marks a loss a 74 pounds from 305 pounds. (I think I weighed closer to 310 at some point, but I’ll never know what my highest weight was.) I was stoked when I saw the number. Every pound lost, no matter how long it takes to fall, represents the the fruit of the decision I made and my commitment to my decision. 

Should you wonder, my commitment isn’t to a particular diet or exercise program. I am one of those people who used food as a drug to drown my shame and self-hatred. The choice I made was to love myself as my Father loves me- to accept myself as is, to be kind and gracious when I need it, and to affirm myself so I don’t live off others. 

This morning I thought about humanity, how we have this gift we labeled choice. Each of us has the ability to wake up and be something different than we were the day before. All of hell may raise within us, try to drag us back to our prisons, but everyday is a day to be whatever we want to be. 

Should I need to say it, I will. I am not referring to the unrealistic mantra of our age “You can do anything to set your mind to do.” That’s a load of bullshit. It sets people up for failure and disappointment. I cannot now or ever play in the NBA. It was never on the table. 

What I am focused on is the how we live. Do we believe the glass is half full? With more on the way? Do we believe in ourselves? Life is full of an infinite amount of variables beyond our control: who are parents are, our DNA, where we were born, etc. And we, in and of ourselves, have a small impact on our world. Most of us will live and die in relative obscurity. So what? All the better to live and take chances, never accept you are defeated. I’ve been overweight my entire life. And I know deep in my bones, those days are coming to an end. Permanently. 

I don’t know how smart I am (really), or wise, or kind, or loving, or peaceful, creative, manly, etc. Who does? But I do have the ability to choose, to decide how I will live my life with the Lord and in relationship to those around me. 

I choose to live in the Sun. To be eternally hopeful and push on toward whatever greatness I am capable of beholding. 

What a gift. What a power.