Vol II: #14 The 80’s Lied To Us
The 80’s movies lied to us. Not all of them, of course, but most of the popular films are guilty. For whatever reason, most of the biggest Hollywood hits of the era are happy/feel-good movies: E.T., Karate Kid, Back to the Future, Return of the Jedi, Rocky, etc. Goonies was one of my favorites- a group of working-class kids discover a pirate’s booty. I spent hours pretending to find treasure after I saw it. Then there was Karate Kid, the story of Daniel Larusso and Mr. Miyagi. Our hero, similar to the Goonies, is from the wrong side of town. In a span of two hours, he wins the heart of a lady AND a karate tournament. It’s the dream of every straight man- beat the bad guy, then win the girl.
Almost all of these movies have a montage dedicated to the progress of the hero or heroes. These montages usually show our champion in the throws of intense practice or preparation. In the beginning, we see them fail at simple tasks or challenges. Then, over the course of three minutes and many quick cuts, they master a skill. For example, the Karate Kid had no balance as he teeters at the end of Mr. Miyagi’s rowboat. By the end of the movie, he performs his kata without a swim break. These montage moments are the lies I want to dissect moving forward.
For starters, no way Daniel LaRusso goes from karate novice to All Valley Champion in two months. That’s not real. The only way to master a skill is through years of practice or being one of the first to do it. It would’ve taken LaRusso years to catch his peers outside of the fantasies created by screenwriters and directors. He would’ve shown up to the tournament and lost promptly in his first match. That’s real life. Mr. Miyagi should’ve asked for two years.
As BSSM looms on my horizon, I’ve begun to feel the weight of uncommunicated expectations. I’m not where I want to be. I’m not as fit as I want to be or financially secure. I don’t have the career I wish I had. These are not the thoughts of a man committed to what the Lord has for him. They are the thoughts of a man concerned with approval. What if I’m not enough? Of course, I’m enough.
I’m in the middle of my montage, but I don’t have a Hollywood editing crew to make it look neat and cool. It’s messy and never a straight line. And the real truth is I will never be a finished product. I will forever own places of shame in my life- areas I dare not reveal to another soul. I will, despite my desire to the contrary, piss people off and have failed relationships. Some days will be better than others. That’s just life.
I know what path I walk and the Hand I hold. I am not aimless in the dark, rather guided by the Lord. What I find difficult and gracious to comprehend is how little perfection He demands of me. Honestly, it’s one of the hardest truths to live within. Jesus doesn’t ask for perfection*; He commanded pursuit. One is attainable; the other is not. Today, I run after Jesus, not a Hollywood ending.
*People often confuse what Jesus asked of us in Matthew 5 when He said “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.” The word “perfect” is better translated as “complete”. In this context, Jesus is asking us to love as the Father does- completely. The Father loves us, Himself, and His enemies. His love is- through this lens- complete for all people/beings. This is what it means to be complete: to love the person in front of you including the person in the mirror, your nosy neighbor, and annoying coworkers.
