Journal: #251 10,000 FT View Of My Life
Being a human, in my experience, is wild.
Yesterday, I sat in my automobile and drove over one-hundred miles from the coast of California through the Trinity Mountains to valley west of the Cascade Mountains. Before my drive, I conversed with a 60 year-old minister from Florida via video conference. I conducted the chat from a room I rented from a stranger I found on the internet. We discussed her business and strategies to put her message into the ears of receptive listeners. What a life. What a time to be alive.
I sat in silence during the ride home back to Redding. I could’ve listened to music or a podcast, but I decided to enjoy the sound of the road. The sun was high in sky and only a few thin clouds joined her. On occasion I imagined I was in a race, choosing my line as the road weaved through mountains. While I drove, my thoughts bounced from my marketing clients to the beauty of northern California to the Lord. It was the perfect day for a solo drive back to my norm.
This week I spoke to friends and family alike, people battling tragic situations and threatening health problems. In these moments, life feels untamable. Why did my best friend lose his brother to cancer at the ripe age of 34? Will my roommate ever value himself, his time, and his dreams? It’s been ten months- I should be over her by now. What’s the pattern to any of this? How can we predict what’s to come? The plain truth is we can’t.
This is my life. It’s full of glory and grace, wonder and mystery, heart ache and sorrow. I wouldn’t exchange it with another. I wouldn’t trade my debts, excess body fat, or singleness for anything. (Which is not to say I desire to remain in each state, but I will not shame myself or wallow in self-pity over them.) The life I live was given to me by God. My family, my friends, and even my ex’s were God ordained. Whatever is left of my life, the end unknowable, I will thank the Lord for every second I am given.
