Abstract: Psalm 26

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Psalm 26

Am I worthy?

Ain’t I your boy?

They called me fool, but I stuck to you,

Didn’t I?

Good ahead, test me.

I know who I am, because I know You.

I don’t gossip or complain or scheme to screw people over.

And I am bold I walk before You.

And I will go on doing so, being bold and loving You,

Regardless of feeling or situation.

You know all these things about me, my heart, my motivations, and my aim.

Save me from this quagmire and set my feet on higher ground.

David wrote of his innocence and integrity, but I can’t.

He said he didn’t take the company of liars and cheats,

yet, Your king was and did all those things.

And You remembered him and saved him anyway.

I'm not King David, devoid of any sense of guilty or sin.

I know who I am, what I’ve done.

And I still choose You,

unworthy and guilty as anyone could be,

I choose you Lord,

And I will never turn back from this vow.

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Vol III: #55 Growth

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Have you heard corn grow? I have. On a breezeless June afternoon in a cornfield in western Pennsylvania, I heard the corn grow. The noise was soft and sounded like something between a squeak and a squirt, the audible evidence of constant growth. I don’t know if you’d hear corn grow if it were only one plant or even twenty. But among the hundreds and thousands of stalks, the tiny bursts created a delightful effect. I laughed as I stood and listened with my eyes closed. Even a blind man would know the corn was healthy and living as it should. No eyes needed.

This is what’s good about a school or class, the ability to measure growth and see progress as part of a group. Because when we are alone, no one is around to hear see our growth or witness our pops of brilliance. The only measuring stick is what we see in the mirror. And the person we see today is similar to the person we saw yesterday, just slightly more so. There is ease at being in the middle of a pack, a tribe hunting and gathering in the modern time. But, on our own? Without gold stars, bonuses, or plaques? The way we live outside of schools and communities and the progress we make, this is who we really are.

As I see it, there are two big hurdles to clear as we navigate life outside the Greenhouse or away from the fields. One, to deny and condemn all the lies that tell us we are anything other than who we are- children of God. And two, that God isn’t God. The evil in the world wants you and me to believe we are anything other than the corn we were called and created to be. But never waver or forget. You were planted were you are and you are growing. Even if we can’t hear it, or see it…no one walks with the Lord and remains unchanged.

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Abstract: Psalm 25

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Psalm 25

I’m really in the shit now Lord.

I’ve stumbled down the mountain,

And my critics and rivals can’t wait to see me fall.

What did I do wrong?

Haven’t I been a good son?

Please don’t hold my sins against me,

because you know me.

You know that whatever my sins are,

my heart is to love You and Your ways,

to be just and kind and holy,

just, like, you.

So, I’m on my knees,

nah, screw that.

I’m on my face,

until Your sun rises on my my life,

and my spirit sores in the strata,

far above the dross of this hell.

Teach me Lord,

Break me if need be,

do what you will,

But do not ever forget me.

So I am here, always at your feet.

Waiting.

I will not turn away even after you answer,

I’ll be here.

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Abstract: Psalm 24

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Psalm 24

God is greater than we can imagine or envision.

He spoke all we know into existence,

and much more that we do not know.

Who in their ever-loving mind has the balls to stand before Him?

He is terrible, majestic, and powerful.

What human has the right to be in His presence?

Sounds hopeless, but it’s not.

If we search for Him and follow His commands,

You will find Him.

For the Lord God is for us, not against.

We are from Him, and He loves us.

Great as He is,

The Lord is just a Dad,

Longing to love His children.

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Vol III: #54 Finding the Words

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For a while, I’ve sought the words to describe a feeling buried deep in my heart. And Monday, I found the words in Isaiah 8. My brain exploded with joy when I read the following:

Isaiah 8:12-14

For thus the Lord spoke to me with mighty power and instructed me not to walk in the way of this people, saying,

“You are not to say, ‘It is a conspiracy!’

In regard to all that this people call a conspiracy,

And you are not to fear what they fear or be in dread of it.

It is the Lord of hosts whom you should regard as holy.

And He shall be your fear,

And He shall be your dread.

Then He shall become a sanctuary.

Read these words one more time: YOU ARE NOT TO FEAR WHAT THEY FEAR OR BE IN DREAD OF IT. This command is from the Lord to Isaiah and it needs to be tattooed on every handwringing-Christian’s face. And every one of us needs it tattooed on our heart. I’m tired of listening to preachers and Facebook experts complain and sow fear in the church. So what if they take my job(current situation for me), or force a vaccine, or “steal” an election. In who is your faith? Judging by the last six years, it’s elections and “American ideals.” We are meant to rise above this age and culture. And we can’t do that when we engage the cycles of fear and division. What can they do to us, really? Greater is He in us than what’s in them.

(BTW, I strongly encourage every Christian to read the Bible from cover to cover. Every chapter and verse. It is illuminating and special, though some parts are rather droll or awkward. It’s worth it.)

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Abstract: Psalm 23

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Psalm 23

The Lord is my Lord,

What do I need?

I rest, even when my bed is a rock,

and my meals are eaten in peace.

He’s restored me over and over and over, and over again,

And more than this,

He set me among the saints, because He could.

Even though, I walk down dark alleys and dead-end streets,

He is always at my side.

I don’t fear what other people can do to me,

His hugs and rebukes soothe my spirit.

And while we eat, the world watches.

You choose me, marked me, and I can’t count the blessings.

Love and kindness will be the scent of my life,

because I love and run with You.

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Vol III: #53 Scraping Travel Plans

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I woke up last week with a peaceful notion in my head and a bit of disappointment in my heart. “I’ve got to cancel my travel plans for 2023. All of them.” The thought is peaceful because my brain is now freed from the task of planning and financing my trips. And though my heart wanted to visit new places and hug old friends, I know the wise thing is to sit home for the year. Stillness has its benefits.

On the other hand, and as much as I appreciate Redding, the idea of a ‘still’ season is unappealing. The summers in particular are hot and empty. The city empties of people and life grinds to a halt under the relentless sunshine. Most locals spend the season indoors or on a lake and all the college students return home. And anyone with an extra dollar will vacation on the coast or LA. Fortunately, spring and fall are lovely which means my task will be to find a way through the that long summer stretch that lasting from June til early September. I

’ll have to a have a plan, suppose I’ll get out to hike more and maybe camp for a night or two. I’d rather be outside as it is. My scraped plans are a disappointment, but it opens new doors to explore more of the California mountains, forests, and beaches. Not a bad concession if you ask me. Not bad at all.

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Abstract: Psalm 22

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Psalm 22

Why have you forgotten me!?

I cry and wail all damn day!

Why are you silent?!

My self-pity chokes me and world mocks me.

But, I remember who You are,

how you held saints of old and they were satisfied.

I’m not them, my life is not the light they were.

People look down on me and shuffle away as I shop.

I feel powerless and weak,

unworthy of love or affection.

Yet, in my heart, a seed grows.

It is holy, full of hope and faith.

You will pull me from the slop,

and I will shine again.

And one day, I’ll stand with the confidence and sing about your greatness.

For today, I stand and wait for your answer,

because I know you will answer.

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Abstract: Psalm 21

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Psalm 21

I found myself and my strength in the Lord,

And I worship Him.

He rescued me from grief and lies and failure.

He gave me purpose and destiny,

gave me gifts and tools for the task,

And loaded my heart with soul-nourishing joy for the journey.

(Ya gotta laugh at life or it will beat you down.)

And I, as long as I am remembered on the Earth and in Heaven,

Will be known for my devotion to God.

Unlike the Psalmist, I do not consider my enemies.

I leave them to the Lord, His kindness and correction.

May be bless them with deliverance,

As He did for me.

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Abstract: Psalm 20

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Psalm 20

I’m praying for you,

I knew you suffer.

And I knew He will answer my prayers and restore His cherished children.

Even more, my prayers are for more than the needs of the day,

I pray the dreams of your youth are restored to your heart,

because the Lord is good,

and He hears us,

every time we speak.

(Regardless of what we say.)

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Vol III: #52 Two-Minutes

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I have, for all my life, believed change was hard- especially lifestyle changes or career shifts. Every failed diet and each broken venture was the evidence for my belief. Despite this over-arching belief, I found holes of success over the last few years. For example, I am a much more neat and clean person/housemate than ever. I make my bed, take out the trash, and clean the dishes because I like to have a made bed, an empty trash can, and clean dishes. But, of course, the best evidence I can make lasting/significant changes is this blog.

Still, the bigger changes have eluded me. Until now.

(I want to say before I continue, I’m not into self-help the way I once was. My goal is the follow the Lord and attack whatever He told me to do. Everything I do is in support of this perspective. If the Lord told me to be a teacher, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. Instead, I’d be in a class, on my way to a teacher’s certification. But the Lord told me to write and generally be the creative person He created me to be. So, I’m learning, the very hard way, how to be me.)

Until now, I didn’t know how to develop the type of work ethic required to be a successful writer and artist. What changed a very short video on how to develop new habits. It’s called the 2-minute rule, and it’s easy. The gist of it is, instead of trying to commit 30 minutes or an hour per day to a new habit, start with two minutes. That’s easy and everyone can do it. Once the basic habit is established, push it to three minutes and then four. The thing is, when you do a task everyday for two weeks, the task or project begins to feel like part of your life.

Two-minutes folks. Do anything for two minutes per day, for a month. Then see where you land.

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Vol III: #51 Twenty-Four Hours Later

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A few days ago I wrote about taking on the challenges of 2023, that I knew they’d be there, and I am prepared to ride through each rough patch with as much joy and dignity as possible. My words were confident bordering on cocky, but not cocky. I was happy with my declarations and use of new wisdom. And then, like a bad a novel, I awoke Tuesday morning with a snivel and a cough. The irony isn’t lost on me. I said I was ready for the challenges of 2023 and then they showed up the next morning.

The hardest part of my COVID experience is how annoying it is. I’m tired, but not exhausted. I’m had worse colds and flus. And for brief moments everyday I felt well enough to work. Isn’t that life? Oh well. LOL.

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