Vol III: #45 Big 2023 Project

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In August, my roommate finally agreed to take a day trip to the Northern California coast. (He’s lived in Redding since 2012 but had not yet made the trip.) We made stops in the redwoods and at a black sand beach. It was a glorious day. We spent the latter half of our time at the beach searching for colorful pebbles and small stones. The sea water made bands of color pop and shine. I felt a twinge in my brain, that old creative kick. I’d would use these stones for something though I didn’t know what. Or how. But, I began to fill up my pockets with these beauties with enthusiastic help from Ben.

When we got home, I washed the stones in the sink and dried them on an old towel. They were clean and ready for use, but their glory faded in our dry, dark apartment. So, for the last three months, my collection of stones sat on the kitchen table in an old Amazon box. I’d stare at them and wonder, but no inspiration came, no eureka moment or blast of wonder.

Then, a few weeks ago, I thought “I’m going to figure out how to use these,” grabbed my sketch pad and started drawing. At first I drew a few stones and then some waves. The motion of a wave wasn’t interesting. And how would I incorporate my stones into a wave? That’s when the I started to consider the life of my stones, where they came from, and how I would use them.

All stones were at one point part of a big rock or boulder or mountain. These beach stones are part of the erosion process, bigger rocks becomes smaller stones at the hands of the sea. It’s a process I love and see the glory of the Lord revealed. We tend to think of water as soft and thin. Rock is hard and stable. But, times tells us, eventually the waves win. The ocean will always subdue the land. And this is a picture of the Father love for us. Our hearts may be hard and resistant, but He is the deep, unfailing and constant.

My new project for 2023 will be massive waves crashing into rocks, made from wire and sea stones. The water will spiral up from the rocks, chards of stone flung in all directions. I want to exaggerate the relationship between the land and the water, and present what His love is. The project will have seven connected segments. And it’s going to take hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars to complete. The working title is Love vs Everything Else.

The thing is, unlike years past, I know I’ve got to complete this. 2023 will be a bust if I don’t. My work will always be about revealing the goodness and glory of the Lord through art and words. I have no higher goal or plan: this is what I’m called to do. I cleaned out the garage to create a studio, researched materials, and began to tinker with techniques. Soon, I’ll frame the individual pieces and work on how best to weave the wire to resemble rushing waves desperate to find the shore. Eventually, I will try to find buyers or a place to display the finished work. For now, I’m working everyday, on some aspect of the project. And I can’t wait to see the final form. It’s gonna be so good. I’ll probably cry.

(I’d like to thank Ben for going to the beach with me. And I hope he sees the good that comes from getting out of a comfort zone.)

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Vol III: #44 2023 Goal

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I’m tired and don’t have the energy to type something more eloquent than this:

My number one goal for 2023 is to kill my inner critic and judge. I’m so over my opinions and offenses. All of us are guilty and unworthy. All of us have been hurt and all of us have hurt people. And what’s the point of all our critiques and opinions? We aren’t happier or more satisfied. (Not to mention the people who game the system looking for errors or mistakes.)

I just want peace and joy. I don’t think those two fruits of the spirit are possible by stewing in offense and looking for flaws. So, among the desires I have for 2023, I hope I am a more peaceful and content person. And I know that won’t come by controlling my environment or getting everything I want.

Lord help.

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Abstract: Psalm 150

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Psalm 150

Praise the Lord,

And worship him everywhere!

Praise Him in His house and in your home,

For His word is good.

Praise Him with shouts and whispers,

claps and silences,

Whatever you do, praise Him with all your might.

And let all creation praise the Lord.

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Vol III: #43 Honoring Parents

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“I just want to honor my father’s legacy,” quivered my foreign friend, his eyes a bit misty. How or why we found ourselves in a deep emotional conversation on a holiday didn’t matter. Thanksgiving Day is day of gratitude and nothing is more meaningful than when I a child looks at a parent- despite all their flaws, mistakes, and sins- and says “thank you.” Eliab’s father is near 80 year-old, and the days of offense are over.

In our age of outrage and offense, parents are the easiest targets. There’s no off-switch to a parent’s day. And, it’s why the command to honor them is crucial to life. When a parent has a weakness, we must endure it every day as child, be it a short-temper, a lack of physical affection, or using a shame as a motivator. In Eliab’s life, his father was demanding and stubborn. His father doesn’t support his life as a missionary and constantly asks when Eliab will move back to Brazil and run the family bakery. This lack of support would be cause for an Oprah Winfrey TV special for the average American, but not Eliab. Instead, he chooses to celebrate a man who taught him to work hard and build things that last.

May we all do that.

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Vol III: #42 Give Praise How You Give Praise

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The final chapters of the Psalms are encouragements to Praise the Lord. When I was a child this meant performing specific tasks: dancing a certain way, raising hands like a Buddha, and reciting worn out phrases. I was too young to understand what the scripture meant, and I do not advise punishing children to worship the Lord. My parents spared me- for the most part- but most of the kids who were tortured into worship did not stick with it.

Worship will always be a willful act of gratitude. Anything else is false. Even and especially for children. As adults, we can ‘fake it till we make it’ because we know that actions can lead to attitude. Children do not. At least, I didn’t. I hated worship until well into my adults years. Each Sunday, when the music hit, I was too concerned with “doing it right.” And, I judged those around me.

Fortunately, I found freedom in worship and an ability to offer my own praises. My new found liberty shined a new light on the final chapters of the Psalms, because they slapped. For the first time, I saw them not as a formula to please God, but an invitation to remember His goodness. I won’t dance across a stage or in an isle, but I will sing to him on my walks, and write and cook for Him. I will thank him for delicious cheeses and crunchy pecans, and offer a prayer for every gorgeous sunset. And when my loved ones suffer, and He heals them, I’ll never forget who I prayed to.

I believe the most important aspect of worship is authenticity. Going through the motions isn’t the worst idea. Sometimes we just need to start before our thoughts/emotions fall in line. That’s real. But, at some point in the process, conviction must take the reins- where words become truth and truth becomes worship. God is good, all the time. His blessings are real, all the time. Even at our lowest moments, He was there to love us through it.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. Eat something good and enjoy the day.

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Abstract: A Mix Of Me

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I am something,

small to be certain,

but not nothing.

And whatever I am and what I become,

my destiny is not entirely up to me,

but I mix of me and the Ones I behold.

Be they educated or green or angry,

a conspirator or thief or Holy,

where I lend my eyes and ears,

my heart will follow.

And from my heart will flow who I am,

a bit of me and a bit of those I seek.

And it will endure to the end.

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Abstract: Psalm 149

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Psalm 149

Praise the Lord!

Shake, laugh, and sing!

Invent your own way to praise our God!

And let the whole world know the Joy of knowing Jesus.

Dance, paint, write, and kick,

do what you must,

For the Lord takes pleasure in His people.

He will rescue the defenseless,

and lift them to safety.

Wherever you are in life,

be it young and alive,

or old and close to the end,

remember what He has done for you and proclaim His goodness.

And may our words tower over every country and people,

that they would know the Mercy and Glory of the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

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Vol III: #41 Push Back

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The prevailing sentiment of our time is that life is bad, very very bad. Each day the media people bring us a new tragedy. Today it was an earthquake in Indonesia. Last I saw, 250 were confirmed dead with the more to come. Yesterday, we were told about more tech company layoffs. The day before that we witnessed another mass shooting. And lest forget, Russia is still trying to invade Ukraine- the specter of nuclear war lingering. It’s all gloomy and upsetting to anyone with a desire for peace or an ounce of compassion. Those poor people. (Then, of course, we have our personal crises.)

The thing is, so what? The world has always been a spinning pile of shit, held together by the Lord’s grace and kindness. Every generation and era has seen it’s share of violence, economic failure, and social upheaval. We are not special or different. The people alive in 2022 are every bit as human as the first people. Our technology and relative comfort makes us feel superior, but I assure we are not. Feeling better yet?

In all of this I hold onto to two thoughts. One is a declaration and the other a promise. First, the Word says we were created for such a time as this because the Lord has made everything for its own purpose. I think about this concept, a lot. Why was I born in 1980? In America? Raised in the South? By Yankee parents? Either it’s all random chance or purposeful. Secondly, Jesus the Messiah God, promised we will do greater things than these. That’s a wild promise to make for a guy who raised the dead and healed the sick and cast out demons and fed multitudes of people with a few pieces of bread and some fish.

When I look at the world, I weep. There is no hope aside from Jesus. But we- the called who said yes- we made for this moment. We were chosen to shine on the hills and proclaim what we know. It’s a tough job. No point in denying the truth. But we were made for this world at this exact moment in time. Each one of us carries the talents and gifts to walk in peace and love and joy, to contrast a narrative that says life is very very bad. Because, in all honesty, that’s a load of horseshit. Life is a gift and it is amazing.

Happy Tuesday.

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Abstract: Psalm 148

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Psalm 148

Praise God!

From heaven and the earth.

For the Lord set the world a spinning,

And determined its history.

All the universe works to His glory,

the whales and shrimp,

wind and snow,

The snow-capped mountains and rushing rivers,

peach trees and dandelions,

to the sandy deserts and grassy plains.

All the cattle and soaring eagles.

Yes, all of the Earth testifies to His wonder,

And one day every person, past and present,

will kneel:

Presidents and peasants,

slaves and slave owners,

old men and children,

widows and orphans,

addicts and drug dealers,

black and white,

ignorant and educated,

They will know and praise the Lord.

For He is worthy.

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Abstract: Psalm 147

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Psalm 147

Praise the Lord,

Our souls rise and our minds are set at ease when we do.

He builds us,

Remembers the outcast,

Heals the broken-hearted,

And lifts the poor in spirit.

Ultimately, He is for us!

(He will judge those who reject Him, no worries.)

For this is the same God who named all the stars,

formed our planet,

made seeds to grow into trees,

and he is not impressed with our pride or anger.

What he longs for is our attention and devotion, our love and affection.

So, to all of us who have known the Goodness of the Lord,

Praise Him because He is the worthy one.

And let pray and bless those who do not know Him,

and those who walked away.

He loves them too.

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Vol III: #40 My Brother and Sister

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I love Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday and is suited to my personality. I love that we have a day dedicated to gratitude and delicious food and enjoying a moment with loved ones. I also feel like people are more kind this time of year. More patient. Gratitude will do that to people- when we turn our focus from what’s wrong or offensive to what’s good and life-giving. (It’s a shame that atmosphere disappears the next day amongst the mad dash for stuff. I prefer if Christmas- another reason to be grateful- were more similar to Thanksgiving. No presents. Just good times and good vibes.)

This morning I thought about what I’m grateful for in my life. Whenever I do this, I make a list which begins with my parents and friends. And eventually, I include my brother and sister. As of 2022, I’m not particularly close to either of them, but I remain thankful for both (and their families.) They were my heroes as kids and both have shown me generosity as adults. I have to laugh when I think about how different we are from each other. We’ve lived very different lives and made vastly different choices. Given our differences and distance, I’m not sure a touchy, feel-good relationship is in the works, but who knows?

Gratitude isn’t about perfection or what we deserve. Gratitude is a choice to look for what is good and honor it. Both my brother and sister have hurt and disappointed me. (As I have hurt and disappointed them.) But, neither intentionally hurt me. I recognize that. Each one has, in their way, tried to love me the best they can. I’m grateful for the attempts. For example, my brother buys me a Christmas gift every year because that’s how he loves me (even though I’m not a gift person.) And, my sister has admitted mistakes and apologized for some of her worst moments (despite the fact that she seem incapable of listening in the moment, better late than never.) This is what I mean when I say I appreciate the attempt. I refuse to let their worst bits be the standard of measure in my heart toward them. Gratitude empowers me to let go of my need to control the way they treat me. Each is a beautiful person in their own way: I’ll always admire my sister’s boldness and my brother’s work ethic. And I wish I had half of my sister’s charisma and all my brother’s grit.*

At this stage in our lives, I chose to cherish whatever moments we have together. And, I will hold onto the good times we shared. So, I will pray for them and their spouses and children, that they would have a fine Thanksgiving, one full of peace, joy, and good vibes.

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Abstract: Psalm 146

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Psalm 146

Praise the Lord!

While I live, I hope in you.

And I will sing and shout “How Great Thou Art.”

My faith isn’t in a government, job, or human wisdom.

For the most kind and peaceful are those who sit at your feet,

the work of their hands will not fail.

This (peace and kindness) is Your mark on Your people,

You Lord, the Creator of Life,

The faithful One,

The defender of the oppressed and enslaved,

The Savior of convicts,

Healer of the sick and broken hearted.

You carry us when we are low and grieving,

Love righteousness,

Protect the foreigners,

and Father the widows and the orphans.

You will reign for ever and ever and ever,

over every generation and beyond.

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