Vol III: #14

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Over stimulated. That’s my state of mind this Monday in early September. So, I’m going to roll it and give you, my reader, an insight into the types of thoughts and emotions I encounter when I feel this way. (Let’s see how this goes.)

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The air conditioning is loud.

I think I drank too much coffee.

I can feel my eyes. They seem to be bulging but I know it’s just the coffee.

My hair still feels wet, but it isn’t wet. Just cold, which can often feel wet to the touch.

The apartment still smells like the baguettes I tried to bake yesterday. Need to work on that recipe.

I usually like Mondays but not today. It’s not like anything bad has happened, I just didn’t look forward to this week.

Does that mean something is wrong? Maybe not. Not everything has to mean something.

Change is hard.

I should’ve finished that book Kirk gave in 2020. I still can.

Is this really a way to write a blog post?

Yes, Nik. It is.

Six months. I’m making a big six month push. Started a few days ago. And the end date is March 8th. Didn’t pick that day, but there it is.

I expect my productivity to be significantly higher on that day.

One grind (day) at a time.

Silence can be a blanket or a terrorist.

In, out. Breathing is fun.

That Bob Ross bobble head looks good on my bookshelf.

Human dynamics are complex. How dare anyone pretend to understand what a human is.

I hate nihilism.

I feel fat.

The sandwich I made earlier was fantastic.

I spend too much time in my head. Too many fantasies.

Criticism is only good if it empowers a person or ends abuse or violence.

This exercise helped focus my thoughts and center my emotions.

Thoughts are more clear than they were ten minutes ago.

Definitely feel less chaotic.

I should fold my laundry and empty the dish washer.

I need to treat writing and drawing as the passions they are rather than tasks to cross off a list.

If I can learn to grind, I’ll be unstoppable.

Glad I did this. I won’t edit this.

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Vol III: #3 Back At Living

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This post took a while to write. More accurately, I had a hard time deciding what to write. My brain is stuck in a timezone over the Atlantic and God only knows when I’ll rediscover my usual sleep pattern. What I want is to organize my thoughts about the trip and what I expect moving onward. But, I decided to be gracious toward myself and relax while I can.

Of all that happened during my travels, I’m happy I was patient with my circumstances. Each stop had its flaws: Paris was sweaty and crowded. Nepal was wild, chaotic, and challenged my digestive system. And in Germany, life moved at a leisurely pace. (In fact, flying from Nepal to Germany was like going to library after spending the night at a cock fight. I needed a day to adjust to the quiet of the rolling farmland.) In addition to the adjustments needed for each culture, I faced the usual downfalls of the western traveler- bad food, lost luggage, delays, rude ticket and hotel agents, and all types of people trying to hustle the foreign guy for a dollar.

My favorite hustler was a skinny Nepalese man who’s main tactic was to stand- arms folded- in my line of sight. He tried to stare me down while looking as impoverished as he could. I had to keep from laughing every time he tried to shake me down. My local grocery store in Redding has at least 5-6 aggressive beggars in the parking lot. They use shame and guilt and sob stories to secure their next hit. My poor Nepali needed something better than folded arms and a glare.

I want to write more about my travels. But, right now, I’m having a hard time putting thoughts together. My mind feels scattered and displaced. I wanted to write something today, and I did, though it isn’t cohesive. LOL. Perhaps tomorrow. For now, I’m happy to post this ramble which I now see has little to do with my title.

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