God’s Not Deep
Almost twenty years ago I heard a pastor say,“God’s not deep.” He declared it to a room full of young wannabe super Christians, most of us straining to find a secret formula, a key to unlock the demonstrative power of God in our lives. My eager brain, ever in need of complication, immediately asked,”What do does that mean?” After two decades of trying, I now know what he meant.
Our Father is simple. His desires for us are simple. We engineer the complications, build roads around mountains of pain, and hold onto our wounds. We try to think our way into His presence, and act holy. We make prayer to be something treacherous, like walking a tight rope during a hurricane, rather than enjoying it for the serene stroll it is.
Last night I laid on a patch of grass and let myself relax into the earth. I tried to connect with the Lord. I admitted how guilty I felt, how part of me felt like my motivations weren’t pure as snow (in my relationship with Jesus.) I feel too consumed with me. I should be more holy and pious. What am I giving to you Lord? (Comparison is a sonofabitch. Read how the Lord deals with it.)
After my mini self-pity party, He responded:
“The scripture says to seek Me first. It doesn’t say “have all the best intentions and motivations at all times.” Of course, you expect My fruits and gifts in your life. It’s ok.
You’re here, and I love it.
My motivations aren’t completely selfless. I’m here for selfish reasons too. You have something only you can give Me. No one can give me what you give Me. I show up hoping to receive from you as well as give to you.”
In my mind, I saw a big smile, and the folksy one-liner echoed in my head, God’s not deep. I started to laugh and cry at the same time, as a new dimension in my walk with Him appeared. Does the Lord really want to know all of my thoughts and feelings? Apparently, yes. I can tell him about my favorite foods, or share political opinions. I can share with Him my love of the arts. Even now, as I type, it feels plain to see and believe. But I didn’t.
Prior to yesterday God wasn’t my friend, not like a friend friend. He was the all powerful God of Creation and Master of Righteousness. Yes, He loves me without end. He even pursues me, but not all of me. Not “the small stuff.” How important is it anyway?
This morning I decided to push this new revelation. Lord, I really enjoy my oil pastel drawings this week. Me too. *Big smiles.* Of course you do.
What may appear to an uncomplicated conversation I assure you was not. I didn’t need to tell the Lord that. I wasn’t compelled by joy or shame, anger or sadness. I simply shared my life with Him, and He approved.
The presence of God in our lives will naturally shower us with His love and peace and everything good. But, He also expects to receive what we alone can give Him. It’s more than our praise and worship. He wants to experience us, our actual lives as they are.
We are more than sinners to be cleaned. We are creation to be enjoyed.
