Abstract: Psalm 130

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Psalm 130

In my most vile condition, full of darkness and despair,

I reached for You.

Can You hear me, Father?

Please hear me and listen to my groans.

Because I know, no one is innocent before you, and my sins are not special.

And though You are to be feared, You forgive.

I know you will come to me and answer me,

And so I wait for you.

I will strain my ears and listen for your footsteps,

And I will refuse to move until you show.

Oh humanity, if you have hope,

Hope in the Lord.

With Him there is love and redemption- even to the worst of us-

He never fails.

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Abstract: Psalm 129

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Psalm 129

Since I can remember,

I was belittled and attacked.

And yet, my enemies failed in their attempts to sabotage my life.

Though they tried to sow fear and shame in my soul,

The Lord never left my side.

He turned their abuse and intent to ashes,

and whatever words they planted, however they tried to maim me,

will wither and die.

And everyone will know,

The Lord is not with them.

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Abstract: Psalm 128

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Psalm 128

Those who live in awe and wonder and terror of God,

they are easy to spot in a crowd.

They enjoy their lives and find joy in their work.

Wives are content, children are strong,

And men keep their eyes on the Lord.

Blessed are those who love and fear God,

for they will prospers,

and their children will prosper,

to the third generation,

they will know the Lord.

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Abstract: Psalm 127

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Psalm 127

Only what the Lord creates and anoints will endure,

all human endeavors are worthless.

Make money, study hard, or live in luxury, it’s all for nothing.

He blesses His children,

and He doesn’t need your Cain-like efforts.

For the Lord, we His children are His greatest creation.

Blessed are parents, for they are privileged to experience what it is to be a Father and Mother.

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Vol III: #30 We Are All Job

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When I read the Bible, I try to identify with people in the stories. And, I assume most of us do that. We want to know their failures are no different than our own, and their success can be our success. How often have you heard someone say “I’m a David?” Or a Paul or Ruth? A lot, right? It’s all part of the charismatic/pentecostal tradition.

My least favorite comparison I hear is “I’m like Job.” Of course, you are I scoff as I mentally roll my eyes. The type of person who compares their life to the story of Job is usually the same kind of person with zero self-awareness and a self-sabotage/codependent streak. I recall sitting in a messy apartment across from my friend Clint. He was drunk and whiny and rambling about the state of his life. As I watched him unpack a box of painkillers from India, he told me “the enemy is offering me the world on a silver platter and I feel like Job.” Judgement rose in my heart, wasn’t Job considered blameless? Clint suffered a few injustices in his life, but his addiction and manipulation issues were all his own doing. He was not blameless.

Despite these annoyances, I enjoy the story of Job. And the most important part of the Job’s story is how he responded to the adversity. Family killed, property destroyed, discouraging friends, and body attacked; Job refused to curse the Lord. He held onto to the single biggest truth, that the Lord is good. So, when I say “we are all Job,” what I mean is we have the opportunity to respond like Job when we suffer. Because, we will suffer. And no, it’s not fair. It wasn’t fair when my grandmother lost two of her young sons or when my best friend’s brother died of blood cancer at the old age of 27. The only thing we can control is how we respond to life. Let us all be Job.

(Living in the United States during the early 21st century created a lot of entitlement. We believe we will live without pain or injustice. This entitlement helped to turn more people away from the Lord then science. The idea being there must not be a God if…. If you believe such a thing, you didn’t read the Bible. Not only does every Bible hero suffer, but the main man himself aka Jesus assured us we will suffer.)

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Abstract: Psalm 126

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Psalm 126

The last time our God set us free and led us out of exile,

we lived like we dreamed of living. 

We laughed and shouted,

And recalled the victory every night before bed. 

Even other people, our neighbors and enemies watched our triumph and said,”The Lord- the one true God- set them free!”

And, they are correct. He did a great miracle for us. 

So now, here in this moment, we are in chains again. And we long for freedom. 

Lord, deliver us once more. 

Wash away the despair. 

And reward with joy those who remained faithful, who sowed in tears and cling to you in the darkest of days. 

We know you are good. 

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Abstract: Psalm 125

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Psalm 125

Those who trust in the Lord,

the people who remain unmoved by politics, health, or money,

We are like mountains.

We cannot and will not be cracked or swayed,

And just as snow and rock cover the mountains, so the Lord covers and surrounds us.

In this way, evil has no shelter in us.

If takes no root in our grief,

For the Lord tends to His holy ones, His mountains.

And He will reprove those who turn aside,

and lead them back to the path of repentance.

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Vol III: #29 Success is Awesome

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All of nine days ago I wrote about the need to childlike, especially as I learn to bake a proper baguette. And, today I did it. From the right amount of salt, to the fermentation, proof, and bake; I nailed it. The crust is thin and crisp while the crumb is irregular, open, and just to the right side of chewy. Oh, oh Nik. You silly boy. To think, you nearly gave up a few weeks ago.

In lieu of looking for deeper meaning, I’ll just tell you what I did with my first proper baguette. After some perfunctory photos and texts, I sliced the bread the length of the loaf and layered prosciutto, salami, provolone, and a handful of pickled banana peppers inside. Then, I enjoyed my labor. It was a fine and filling sandwich and joyful to eat. Success tastes delicious.

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Vol III: #28 Truth Loops

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One of the hardest parts of life is how two truths seem to conflict with each other. And on occasion, these axioms create a loop. Depending on your position- in or out of the loop- determines your perspective on the loop. For example, most of would agree you need a job to gain experience and you need experience to get a job. To the young and eager positioned outside, this may appear to be an unbreakable truth loop. The question of how does one gain experience without a job is the most common question to ask in this scenario. (The answer is not one people want to hear so I will save it for another day.)

Truth loops are all over the place and I encounter such a truth loop when I read what Jesus preached in Matthew 5 and 6. How can I be a light and a city on a hill while I heed the warning “beware of practicing your righteousness before men.” Seems to me Jesus is questioning my motives, which is something I do all the time. Thanks Jesus.

One of my prevailing weaknesses is the need to be seen as a good man. And, after years of trying to prove myself, I finally learned how my weakness worked. My insecurity is a dragon who is never satisfied. No amount of affirmation or pats on the back will be enough to feel good about who I am. The trick is to be secure in the knowledge of who I am in the Lord. That’s the place I find my rest and peace. Without a need to perform for people, I’m left with the Lord. And, do I perform for Him? (Performance is what we do for someone when the thing/task/service isn’t our reality.) Isn’t that what we call religion? Most importantly, how do I leave it behind?

When I think about all the sermons I sat through, the ones that scolded the audience and shamed us into “Christian behavior,” I’m left wondering why we put our behavior above the relationship? To be a light on the hill is to shine without shame. And the flame is lit by Him, not me. How, when, and where I shine is up to the Lord. And, there is freedom in it.

The only answer I have is that we- the church body- need the Christian life to look a certain way. We need the prophetic and miracles and people getting saved. We need banners and flags and well crafted prayers before the collection plate comes around. And all of those things are great and awesome, but they are not fruits of the Spirit. Churches are stuffed with people who act like Christians or try to act like Christians. And, it’s the worst. Let’s not forget Paul said nothing of the supernatural when he wrote Love is kind, Love is patient, or Love is long-suffering. And, he didn’t mention the resurrection of the dead when he explained the fruit of the Spirit- peace, love, hope, joy, faith, righteousness, etc.

I guess the best answer to my truth loop question is: Jesus’ warning is about performance, and the commandment to shine is enabled by relationship with Him. As such, my writing, this blog, can be a light and it can become a task to check off my list. I pray the task days are few and far between.

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Abstract: Psalm 124

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Psalm 124

Isn’t the Lord on our side? 

You know He is. Repeat after me: 

Isn’t the Lord on our side?

When jackasses try us, when they talk trash,

And become angry. 

And the depressions of life would usually sweep over us, like a wave, tossing us from one mud pit to another. 

But for the Lord. 

He didn’t let that happen. Not this time.

He held us and saved us from the snare of conflict. 

And we flew higher with Him. 

Our constant counselor and defender is the Lord, creator of everything. 

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Abstract: Psalm 123

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Psalm 123

I look to you Lord,

to your high seat high above all the proud and foolish men.

And I wait.

For your Grace, I long to refill your cup and open your door.

I need your Hand and your Word.

The slander of my enemies and their disdain for my existence surrounds me.

They belittle Your work and accuse me of stupidity for believing in you.

Raise me up from the gutter and reveal your Glory.

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Vol III: #27 150 Days Of Goals

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On March 24th of next year, I plan to be on my way to New Zealand. Some old friends founded a school there and I’m keen to give it a visit. From New Zealand I’ll head to a Middle Eastern country to visit more friends. The prospect of a trip to Middle Earth (where the Lord of the Rings were filmed) and the land of the Bible is exciting*. And, this trip will involve a number of firsts for me, like flying over the Pacific Ocean, traveling to the southern hemisphere, and first true visit to a Muslim country. If I have my way we will also make a quick trek to the southern Turkey, which I am told is quiet and peaceful.

Last Monday(October 24th), it occurred to me my trip is 150 days away. And, I wondered what can I do over the next five months that will draw me closer to some of my goals? Immediately, several ideas popped to the top and I will share them with you now. My reason for sharing my new short-term goals is so I have a measure of accountability. And now, without further delay:

1. 150 Yoga sessions. Of all the exercises I’ve learned and enjoyed, yoga is my favorite.

2. 150 interpreted Psalms. I’ll post these everyday like I have since Monday. I started at Psalm 121. Can’t wait til Psalm 119…

3. No added sugar, alcohol, or fast food. This ought to be easy enough as I don’t eat much added sugar or drink a lot of alcohol. The only challenge will be life without Taco Bell. We all have a weakness.

4. 10,000 steps every day.

That’s it. Nothing fancy or original. I just like having a deadline- a point in the future to aim at. And, I’ll update y’all along the way.

*I’m not sure how much I can say about my trip to the Middle East. The internet is a silly place and I’m going to protect my friends.

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