DJ: #60 Two Months

Two months. I’ve written at least one blog post per day for two months. Many days, I added a poem or two. And now this blog is part of my being. I look forward to crafting an entry as much I do anything else in my life, and I think I’m starting to improve. The power of dedication grows more evident every day, week, and month I continue to sit at this keyboard and type.

Thank God.

I do not have a plan for this blog, no great goals. What I know is I’ve got to express myself. I’ve got to continue to release what I’ve held and give my beauty away. This process requires new courages. They are vulnerability and indifference, which makes honesty essential, strength too. I’ve got to be sincere and unfiltered. I can’t be either of those without the strength to post it.

At the start, I wanted people to read what I’ve written. I still do, but not as I once did. This blog is about me, so I’m not sure what kind of audience will be interested in my content beyond my friends and family. Moreover, who cares? I endeavor to walk with God, and live the life that feeds my soul. I accept what comes.

I will continue to show up and be me.

Love y’all.

Over a Month In, What a Trip

I decided to re-read all of my posts on this blog, from the beginning. It’s a good practice I’ve been told. I usually write a thing- blog post or journal entry- and move on, never to visit it again. 

I admit I am pleased with my progression. Each post is earnest and true to who I was in the moment I wrote it. And…I can see a slow stripping of self-conscience censorship. Still, I hold more regard for the newest posts and something bordering on shame in older. 

Why is that? Why do I feel ashamed of something I did a month ago? My first- and likely accurate- thought is I am ashamed because I tried to sound important and wise. What a difference a month makes. A month ago I wanted to believe I held something of value for others. Now, I genuinely believe it, as I believe I inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. I do not need to prove my words and testimony are powerful, I only need to let them out. 

Dear reader, you may not be impressed with me or my writing. And I would agree except that my writing improved since the beginning of July, and I beg you to accept this wisdom: Do a thing, any thing, intentionally. Everyday. Believe in the person our Father created you to be. And you will see results. Movement along the curve. 

If you want to find some motivation…after the month is over, project your results over the next eleven months. Hot damn, I just got excited!

Yeah, I’m no Hemingway or Lewis, but I ain’t Nik from a month ago either. 

Thank you Jesus. How true your words are.