Today was a seesaw day of emotional ups and downs. I was down because I had another confrontation with my sister, then up because I did well at work. Then back down after a friend asked if I wanted some BBQ from Odell Craft BBQ (I was once a partner in the business), only to find myself lighter in heart and mind after an evening with old friends (as old as I’ve got in Redding.) I got to text my oldest nephew a bit, only to fight sorrow as I drove past the park where I once met my former girlfriend for morning walks.

I’m not sure how many emotional bounces I took today, but even for me it was a lot. I laughed, cried, and prayed. I let go of fears and desires while I made room for God to be God. It was a full day. Tomorrow, I will write more about being imperfect. For tonight, I’m going to stay in my current place of gratitude and honesty.

I love this part of me. I’m tired of hiding, and trying to make the right decisions. I’m ok, and I will be ok. Life isn’t easy, but it is fun and amazing. Thank God.

One last thing, my friends- a group we call the Four Horsemen- are the best no-name Jesus lovers in the world. And we have the maturity of children.

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