I’ve slurped down a whole pint of ice cream in a matter of minutes,

And stood in a dark pantry, slamming peanut butter cups like a rat.

I’ve left texts unsent,

And parties unattended.

Spent money I didn’t have,

And all to avoid feeling bad.

And these are my minor sins,

Those I’m comfort admitting to my friends.

For I am a king of self-destruction.