Today is one of the days,

when no purpose or journey looks worthy of the required sacrifices,

Conversely, crying alone in the corner is no viable option,

not for a human of such fine quality and talent…

Oh no, I am not allowed to fail.

Not allowed to feel self-pity or confusion.

Not allowed to ask questions or work through the nast’ness of faith,

Certainly can’t be afraid or tremble…

My solace, my refuge at this moment, is Jesus.

On this day, when my life feels like a bag of shit,

I recite the opening lines of Jesus’ mountainside chat:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for their’s is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

I sit and type, and search for a way out of this fog,

and as disconnected as I feel,

I receive that love, that promise of heritage and grace.

When I am anxious, scared, and cut off,

my gift is Heaven.

When I cry, He will comfort me.

So says Jesus.