From my couch I stare out the back window,

to oak trees and late morning sky.

The sun is bright and without companion in her orbit.

A slight breeze breaks the calm,

as the it bumps past the oak leaves,

on its way down the hill.

It’s a scene of peace,

even on the darkest days,

an extension of the Original,

a constant miracle.

From this couch, I can also stare into my future,

Unlike the glory of a new day- the sun and wind, the strength of the trees,

I can’t see peace or satisfaction.

At the end of all my ambition is the question,

the unsettling, demotivating,

and life-zapping question:

What’s it all for?

What is wealth,

What is accomplishment,

or achievement,

Without love?

My heart turns sick at being old and empty,

My life cannot be measured as I’ve been taught.

It will never be satisfied with numbers and tasks.

Back to staring out the window,

I cannot see where the wind begins,

where it ends.

A soft reminder.

My experience is not gospel,

cannot account for the life and struggle of marriage,

a family, and the challenges to come.

Today must be good on it’s own,

I can’t live a lifetime in my mind,

from my couch.

Today is a day to do what’s in my heart to do,

to walk the paths at my feet,

and choose love.