I wish I could massage my brain with my fingers,

Rub all the worry and impatience away,

Smooth out my doubts.

I wish I could sip on certainty,

Breath conviction,

And eat victory.

Though, I’m sure some say it’s possible,

None of it is.

Maybe one day,

Years from now,

I’ll realize I’m a doubtless champion,

Unwavering and wise.

In the interlude,

I will punch through the sorrow and shame,

The impatience and fear.

I will use my words and choices,

My whispered declarations,

And my key strokes,

To carve my way from regret to graced,

To freedom.

(I have found no greater words than these:

I’m here Lord. I give you my life, and I trust you.

Your will be done in me and through me. I accept you peace, love, and joy.

I lay down my hopes, fears, and anger. Thank you for loving me.)