When historians review the late 20th century and early 21st, I hope they notice barrage of values and messages thrown at the children. In my life, I’ve been told everything from “we are the world, we are the future” to “we are the problem.” In addition to parents and relatives, I’ve had to navigate the voice, commands, and advice of: friends, teachers, coaches, managers, clergy, internet experts, actual experts, and random assholes. No doubt, so have you.

What clouds and confuses the moment is most of the messaging seems to conflict in one way or another. Can we eat eggs? Or oatmeal? Do I pursue the woman or honor her words? Should I be loyal to my friends or tell them the stark truth about their terrible business? Oh no! Another tragedy in Chicago or LA or the Middle East, how freaked out should I be?! Honestly, I get overwhelmed by the options and the supposed stakes at hand. If I don’t go after that date, I might just be single forever!! Feels like every action and decision is a fucking monster. The hype is too much.

And when I consider the events in Israel, the horrific violence and destruction, I’m not immune to the suffering of the people. The biggest tragedy is what’s happening in the hearts and minds of the Israeli and Palestinian children. They are learning, as their parents and grand parents did, to hate their enemy. Israeli children are watching Hamas destroy their communities, and the Palestinian children experience the same trauma from the other side of the wall, and on a grander scale. For anyone trying to justify blind support for either side, go explain it to a child. Go tell a Palestinian little boy he deserves to be bombed, same with the Israeli kids. Go tell them they deserve violence and death.

Not too long ago, an outbreak of violence and fighting like we’ve seen in Israel would’ve sent me into a crisis. I might randomly cry when alone or spend hours watching videos on the event. Mostly, I’d make such a tragedy about me. Because, I have to do something. I have to declare my stance and work to accomplish “our” goals. I’d email my elected officials, sign petitions, donate money, construct social media posts, and generally wear myself out for the cause. But, at 43, I’ve learned a lot of the voices are wrong. I’m just not that important or powerful.

Of course, I am powerful and important, but my words and actions will have no baring on the outcome in Israel. Not a one. Better said: My current sphere of influence is limited to close friends and family, and as such, I will not worry about what I can’t control or impact. But what about a possible broader war, a world war?! Yeah, I get that. So, what? Worry is a life-sapping bitch. And all of that “stuff” is well above my pay grade. But what if the system collapses? At this question, I laugh. Who is prepared for the destruction of our current way of life? I mean, really? No one. Not me and not you.

I believe in us. Whatever comes, we will rise and overcome.