At one point today I wrote the following,”I feel rejected and useless.” That single sentence is the sum of me at my low points in life. It is the soil from which everything terrible in my life could grow. Fortunately, I wasn’t writing for myself alone. I was writing it to the Lord.

In the minutes that followed, the Lord gently led me away from my self-pity spiral into peace and rest. First, He showed me I wasn’t angry at anyone. I was mad at myself. As I type, people very close to me are fighting for their lives and lives of people they loves. It’s not one or two people, but close to a dozen.

Me being me, I want to fix it. I want the Lord to fix it. I want to bulldoze fear and inject hope into their veins. And, it’s not about me. None of it is. I get to love my friends and family, and sit in the shadows with them. But, it’s not my calling to load up my shoulders with problems I can’t solve.

After the Lord showed me I was shouldering too much of the load, I spent the next thirty minutes unloading each burden into my journal. The season I’m walking through is tough, but I am prepared. My goal is to keep my eyes on Him- be that kid in the pool swimming to his Dad.