As I wrote yesterday, I am looking forward to the coming summer months. This morning on my walk I prayed about it. Last summer was such a sweet moment in my life, I’d love a repeat of sorts. After my break ups (business and romantic), I dove into the Lord without a plan. It was glorious. He held my hand as I faced my future, unafraid of what was to come. I loved that moment, because I was unburdened by expectations or goals.

Ten months later I have goals and vision for my life. With this new map, a certain tension has returned to my heart and thoughts. I don’t like it. Goals and vision open up my world to the possibility of failure, and I hate failure. Better said, I hate what failure says about me. (I hate what I think failure says about me.) I want another awesome summer, but the judges in my head can destroy the brightest moment with ease if I let them.

No. This summer will not be like last summer. It can’t be. The summer of 2021 will have a glory unlike any before. Why? Because. It’s the first summer of my life where I know who I am and what I want. That reality, that truth, is never a burden. It’s the key He used to set me free. Last summer was a time to build trust and dedication. This summer is going to be about diving ever deeper in my walk with Jesus and myself. It’s time to explore.