I was early to an in-person meeting yesterday. Instead of go home, I decided to wait in my car. After a few minutes, my put my phone down and picked up my journal. My thoughts were scattered, so my words were mostly non-sense. On page three, and without effort, I wrote: With all that is happening- cancer and death- I feel like an asshole for needing anything. Why did I believe this? Because. I was trying to be a hero. How lame.

What I really did was something I haven’t done in a long time. I feel into a self-pity trap. I hate to admit that. I’m no victim, and no one asked me to be. It’s embarrassing, but doesn’t need to be. I combat self-pity with faith and grace. What’s the big deal? I felt sorry for myself. It would be another act of self-pity to indulge in self-punishment. Poor me. I have “issues.” Yes, I have issues. Sometimes I take life personally.

It’s time to move on, to take life one day at a time. God is Good.