So, I decided to clean out my inboxes…Yep. You know how that went.

I have two email addresses, one is over 25 years old and probably on every stupid spam email list imaginable. It’s a Yahoo account and it receives all the boner pill emails, Lusty Ladies Now emails, and Get Out of Debt scams. Still, I had several important accounts linked to that ancient service. And I spent the better part of an hour cleaning the inbox and updating my contact information.

As I do with all inbox cleanups, I checked every folder for anything worth discarding as I prefer an empty folder as much as possible. In the Notes folder I found two dozen ramblings and a handful of lists and poems. They were from early 2013 to mid 2014. And buddy, lemme tell ya, the ramblings and poems weren’t pretty. I hated women and myself and Charlotte. I questioned everything and everyone. And I saw myself as a hopeless sinner before the Lord. It was all very cringe, like cringy-cringe-cringe.

I didn’t like being reminded of who I was ten years ago but I found room to laugh at my words. That guy was full of shame and didn’t believe in himself. And he had all the wrong priorities. And yet, he stumbled forward. I can’t hate him.