I’m tired and want to go to bed. Despite how I feel I’m not going to end my day without a some gratitude and a question.

To begin, I spent the day seeing old friends and enjoying their company. The day was jammed to brim with short but meaningful conversations. It started by saying goodbye to my friend Blake, then on the Nathan’s, followed by Brandon and Trevor, then Chris. My busy day ended with an evening visit to my brother’s house.

I ate a pile of terrible food. It was delicious. I discussed mortgages, both side of the political divide, football, and Jesus. It’s a day I am grateful to have and could relive a thousand times over. The likelihood is small, so I’ll savor today for what it was.

Now. Onto my question.

Late last night I received a messages from the sister of an old friend. He’s “looking for me.” I find humor in the statement because, A) I’m not hiding, and B) I have the exact same phone number since 2011. The sister requested my number to pass to her brother. I paused to consider my choices.

My old friend was like a little brother to me. I was his advocate when life seemed unfair, gave him opportunities when no one would, and routinely forgave his intentional mistakes. In 2013, after his repeated degradation of people I love, I was forced to set clear boundaries with him. I told him he couldn’t drink at my house or talk trash about my friends. I haven’t seen him since that day.

Here I am eight years later. I have two thoughts about letting this man back into my life.

1. What’s the worst that could happen? Love hopes all things.

2. I don’t want to put up with his shit.

Today, I responded to the message from his sister. I gave her my number to pass along with the note “It’s the same number I’ve always have.” The truth is I never went anywhere. He’s the one who disappeared.

I love my friend AND I’m not required to put up with his shit. The boundaries remained intact, and I’ll enforce them. I don’t want anything from my old friend, but I’m worried he wants something from me. All I have is Jesus. So whatever he wants, that’s what he’s going to get.