Without going into detail, my mind is stuck on a few thoughts I’d rather not think. They aren’t bad or evil, just unproductive. I want to let go and move on. In many ways I have. And, instead of mire in the frustration, I will thank God. Again.

It’s moments like right now I’m grateful I made a commitment to be faithful to Jesus. I thankful I decided to take care of myself. Years ago I would’ve judged myself and sunk into pools of self-pity.

This moment doesn’t own me. It doesn’t define me. It’s just life.

Progress can look like a job promotion or a pat on the back. It can look like a smaller waste and goals achieved. For me, right now, it’s giving myself grace to be imperfect. My brain does thoughts I wish it didn’t. My heart wants things I can’t have. This is what my humanity looks like.

Disappointment is not an excuse to be an asshole or self-destruct. I’d rather be honest and write a blog. I’d rather pray and make room for God to be God, for Him to touch my heart in a way only the Lord can.

Victory, the kind with parades and praise, is not normal. Today it looked like going on a walk, doing my work, loving my parents, and writing this blog. It’ll end with prayers and gratitude. Whatever tomorrow brings, I know what I’m going to do.

I’m going to win.