He said it just once, while I was in the shower. He said in a stronger yet calm voice. “You know the plan,” was all He said. And, I knew. He was right.

In the moment I described above, it was the Holy Spirit urging me onward. I spent the summer thus far circling myself. Of course, I know the plan and have known it for a while. You may wonder what I’m talking about, so I’ll explain. Last year, I decided to put all my eggs in the Lord’s basket. My choices prior to that moment led me to lay down all my plans at that moment. Following my decision, I spent months living in the moment without a clue as to what I should do.

Over the next 12 months, the Lord challenged me and revealed what’s in my heart to do. In July, I began to blog. By September, I had a vision for an art studio. A few months later, an investment strategy formed my mind. On a personal level, I spent months learning the best way for me to eat and exercise, and I developed an ability to say no to distractions. I also had several great interactions with God. He showed me the Great Cloud of Witnesses and the people in my corner.

In total, the Lord showed me how to love myself, what my purpose is, and how to go about living my life. What a year, eh? The thing is, I feel very exposed and hesitant. I judge myself because I don’t feel a sense of urgency. Every day I skip my investment lessons or drawing practice, I feel like shit. And that’s when the voices start. If you really believed in this, you’d do more often. I know I’m on the right track, but it doesn’t feel that way. I feel like a fraud. I set new goals, then fall short.

I think the key is to climb back into the saddle, no matter how many times I fail myself. I desperately want to be myself, and yet I allow myself to be distracted by TV and current events. (I’ve watched more TV the last three months than the year combined.) Regardless, today is a new day. I can’t reverse the wasted past, but I can focus on today, August, 2nd.

Just Do It.

(Damn Nike for such a great slogan.)