“You’ll never make money watching YouTube videos.”

I thought that today. And I needed to think it. Nearly every day, whenever I sit down to write or draw or even read, I am faced with a battle, from twin assholes known as Not Good Enough and You’ll Never Make Money Doing That. Their convincing taunts and arguments tend to make cry, or in the least, tie me down. And now I wish I could go back and hand myself a road map. Oh, Nik. 21 year-old, Nik. Just start drawing dude. Keep writing. Where would I be…

Concerns centered around money (or social status, or recognition) are known as extrinsic motivations. We all have them and they are good. Mostly. My best external motivator is competition. I love to compete. The thing is, these types of motivation is fleeting for me. I want to put my seeds in the dirt today and harvest from the trees tomorrow. And the more I consider my external pushes and pulls, I see impatience creeping just beneath the surface of my thoughts and feelings. 21 year-old Nik wasn’t patient either.

Perhaps the biggest challenge I face is being patient enough to let me do the work. In twenty years, I’ll be sixty-three.