I think everyday is a battle as a Christian. The solution is to run away and deny it all. Or, we can stand and fight. Everyone has mountains to move. The worst Christian walk is one of weakness and fear- allowing the mountain to dictate our reality. That’s not our calling.

So yeah, I’ve walked in a bit of weakness and fear lately.

One issue I had to confront is the concept of faith, what it is and what it isn’t. I usually picture people with amazing faith as somewhat reckless. I picture Heidi Baker who trusted God in the slums of Mozambique. I envision my sister daring to go on missions trips without a penny to her name. My standard is doing amazing things without a clue or plan as to how it will get done. Just “trust God” and everything else will work itself out.

Right? Isn’t that what faith is?

The other day I took this to God, and He set me straight. For starters, I’m not Heidi Baker or my sister. Their walk with the Lord will always look different than mine. They are called to a different life. My life will require no less faith than them, but it will look different. Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with being wise with my money.

I can’t explain why, but I also picture people of great faith as broke. True faith requires giving everything away, all the time. The Lord told me this isn’t true either. To focus on money is the problem. As Heidi says,”There is always enough.” I’ll add “but there’s sinful about a savings account or wise investments.”

In fact, if I trust the Lord, then I can have investments and be generous. Isn’t that faith too?

I want crazy faith. I want the kind of crazy faith that believes in miracles and the stupidest God shit anyone has every heard. I don’t want to limit the Holy Spirit because I refuse to believe beyond my comfort zone. And, I don’t have to be poor or my sister to get there. That’s the truth I’m standing in today.