Vol II: #40 A Son’s Perspective on Motherhood
Yesterday, November 16th, was my mother’s birthday. She turned 65 and toward the end of my day I gave her a perfunctory phone call. I meant to ring her earlier in the day when I knew she would be awake. My mom is a rhythm sleeper, meaning she’s robotic in her habits. Her body shuts down starting around 8 PM each day regardless of activity or excitement. Then, she drifts blissfully to sleep by 9. I believe it’s a gift. She will normally wake around 11:30 PM or midnight before settling in for a long night of slumber. My call was around 8:30 PM and I knew I might not get her to answer. Luckily, she picked up and we chatted about life and Thanksgiving plans. My mother is always happy to take my call unless she’s with my brother, or sister, or any of her grandchildren. I know my place…
Being a mother must be a difficult road to walk- pregnancy, giving birth, and raising a child. I’m always a bit miffed when people compare starting a business or new adventure as “giving birth.” I understand the metaphor but the comparison demeans a unique human experience. (I feel the same way when athletes call themselves warriors. Gimme a break bro. War is not the same as a game.) Pregnancy has to be an intense process that pulls on every part of a soul, and a mother is eternally linked to her children. Entrepreneurs know failure is part of the process, and they move on from the ruins of a failed venture. Most mothers do not have such grace. They didn’t carry a child for 40 weeks, suffer labor pain, child-rearing, and teenage drama to be indifferent to the suffering those children endure. To be a mother is to be unconditionally linked to your children.
If I could tell my mother one thing it’s this: You did well. Relax. Have fun. Do the things that bring you joy. It’s ok to enjoy life outside your family- a long walk, playing the piano, or reading a book. I love you.
