I’ve given this post two previous attempts (both below.) And my only point is humility is good and pride is bad. Humility opens doors and creates opportunities. Pride keeps me from enjoying the little wins, whispers that’s not good enough and your not good enough. It pushes me to “rush the groove” and over complicate small details, while sneering and mocking me, you can’t go back to waiting tables you loser.

But, thankfully, humility is a power with two heads. The first is honesty and the second is hope. In being honest with myself and the Lord, I find the strength to say “I need help.” And it looks like going back to school at age 43(soon to be 44) to learn a new skill, writing one paragraph at time rather than pages per day, and taking timelines off the table. Truth is, if I focus on myself and continue to beat the darkness, I won’t get anywhere. I’ve got to accept where I am and build, one day at a time. It’s a tough task. I feel like most of what I want in life is slipping away. But, thankfully, that’s a damn lie. Remember, humility is a beauty with two heads, the other being hope. And hope believes in redemption and grace.

#1. A few months back, I spent an hour listening to a grown man wallow in self-pity. He faced a tough reality and didn’t like his choices. And, rather than rise to occasion, he decided to bitch and moan like a helpless fawn stuck in the mud. By the end of the chat, I wanted to smack his balls with a hammer and tell him to wake up. But, I refrained. People slopping around in self-centered despair typically don’t respond well to a personal challenge. The confrontation becomes “one more thing” for the them to whine about. Besides, I know that nasty devil as well as anyone. Once he’s got your ear, he goes for your heart, pulling us deeper into paralyzing fear.

What my friend lacked is humility.

#2. Without regret, I set myself some mighty high goals for 2024. I waned this year to be the best year of my life. But, for anyone keeping score, I’m well behind. Progress has been painfully uneven and slow, and I’ve been forced to adjust. (And adjust.) The initial plan I created- a painfully detailed, day by day map- was scraped after February. And I had to drop the two business ideas(one in marketing and another in plant sales.) Thankfully, the novel is still on track to be finished this year. And more recently, I enrolled in Shasta Community College to earn a certification in professional welding, which wasn’t part of the plan at all.